A Drop in the Ocean
by I-Have-A-Dark-Side
Summary: The Cullen's left and she survived, she turns to Jacob and falls in love with him and the Pack. But then when Jacob imprints what is left of Bella and who will be there to help her when the one that made her whole was the one tearing her apart!
1. History Repeating

**Summary: **The Cullen's left and she survived with the help of Jacob and the Pack and slowly she learns to live and love again. She gives Jacob a chance and she falls for him, hard. But then fate steps in and Bella is left heartbroken again, can she survive a second heartbreak when the only one that she thinks can fix her is the one who has broken her?

**Info: **I've changed some of the ages; Sam (23), Paul (20), Jared (20), Embry (18), Jake (18), Quil (18), Leah (21), Seth (17), Brady (17), Collin (17), and Bella (19)

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing unfortunately

**AN:** So you're probably wondering why on earth I'm she starting another story, well, I just had to! This story has been playing on my mind for a while and I really want to share it. So please enjoy...

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter One- History Repeating**

Sam POV

_We have to find her_

_Shit this can't be happening again, not again, not to her!_

_This is going to kill her_

I had tune out my Pack mate's inner thoughts, it was making it harder to concentrate on finding Bella instead of running back to La Push and beating the shit out of Jacob _fucking _Black.

_Not without me, if anyone is beating the shit out of him it's me _came Leah's furious demand.

_And me _Paul added before snarling again. _Where the fuck is that girl!_

Isabella Swan has not had an easy couple of years. Three years back the Cullen's abandoned her, leaving her in the woods cold wet and half dead but we found her in time and though it took time she healed, we all helped but it was Jacob she relied on most. Jacob was her 'sun' as she referred to him as on many occasions and he was the one that slowly integrated her into Pack life and with that we all found a place in our hearts for her and a need to see her smile again.

She did, eventually. She began to eat, laugh and talk without having to be spoken to first. Slowly the Bella from Jacob's memories returned and he fell even more in love with her.

I warned him, I warned them both but Jacob was adamant, he would never imprint and he seemed to convince Bella of it too. So they started a relationship.

A year and a half they were happy and for a time I thought that maybe Jacob was right, that he wouldn't imprint because if anyone looked at Jacob when he was with Bella you could see that he loved her deeply. They made each other happy and so I let it go because that's all anyone wanted for Bella, and for Jacob. He finally had the girl of his dreams- literally.

But in the end it wasn't enough.

_Stop Sam, stop! Let's just find her _Leah was close to hysterical. Bella was her sister in more ways than one. It was as if they were soul-sister, they got each other perfectly and they knew what the other need instantly but they were also step-sisters and neither of them could have been more thrilled when Sue and Charlie had announced their engagement.

Bella was special to everyone in the Pack in different ways; we all had our own unique bond with her. She was Pack, she was family and we needed to find her. Fast. Images of the last time I had been searching for her flashed through my mind.

Her curled up on the forest floor.

The pain-filled whisper's as she kept repeating 'he's gone, he's gone'.

The pale blue shade that stained her lips and the way she stared blankly at me.

_Please stop, no more _

I shook my head and kept running, nose to the ground. She had to be out there somewhere.

_The question is where? _Paul thought full of worry and frustration.

Paul and Bella had a weird love hate relationship. They could argue for hours about anything and everything, they would call each other names and Bella often threw things at him when it all got too much while Paul would just hurl more abuse at her. But then if she needed advice, a laugh or to talk she would go to Paul, they could spend hours missing and you could find them later on the beach, sitting together, sometimes they weren't even talking merely just sitting and watching life happening around them. Sometimes I wondered if he had more feelings for her than he ever let on.

_Fuck off Uley, like I'd feel that way about leech-lover _Paul snarled though his emotions gave away his fear of not finding Bella before something happened to her.

Between her being a danger-magnet, a major klutz and he mental state of mind anything could happen to Bella.

An image of her scarred arms flashed in our minds, it had come from Embry.

We all winced in unison.

_We need to find her Sam _

_We will_

We all remember the time that Embry walked in on Bella cutting herself. It had been in the early stages of the Pack getting to know Bella and we often had took it in turns going to visit her in Forks while Charlie was at work. It was the day that Embry was supposed to keep her company but instead ended up carrying a sobbing Bella all the way back to La Push and to Sue's in a blind-panic.

_There was so much blood _Embry thought sadly.

Sue had bandaged Bella up and she had slept for hours in Embry's arms all the while silent tears running down her cheeks. That was the day Embry said she had taken a piece of his heart, the day he saw her at her lowest as she had clung to him for dear life.

We had all seen the memories and we all feared the worse this time around. Without Jacob would she be able to heal, would she be able to pull through?

_She has to _Seth whimpered; he loved Bella as much as he loved Leah and it killed him that she could be lying somewhere hurt.

We all wanted to find her.

_I think I've got something _Jared began running faster, weaving through the trees with us all hot on his heels. Then it hit me, cinnamon and apple, it was Bella's scent and oddly enough she smelt slightly different to each of us and as we each recognised her scent we picked up our paws a little faster.

_I don't think we should crowd her _Leah commented as we all drew to a slow walk as we reached a clearing.

_Your right, you Seth and I shall go _I said, _the rest of you stay here _and then I phased out along with Leah and Seth who came to stand beside me after dressing.

We could see her small shaking form, we could smell her salty tears and we could hear her soft sobs. It broke my heart and as I looked at Leah and Seth I saw it was breaking there's too.

We approached slowly, Leah taking the lead. The rest of the Pack waited inside the tree line, all eyes on us and Bella as we got ever closer. She didn't move nor did she give us any indication as to whether she knew if we were there or not. Leah glanced at me sadly and motioned to Seth and I that she would go ahead, we both nodded and stopped ten feet away while Leah carried on.

"Bella," she whispered softly.

Bella didn't move but she spoke, softly and almost silently.

"He just looked at her and like that he was lost to me. I sat for ten minutes hoping he would remember I was there," she paused, a sob erupting from her chest. "But he didn't, he just kept talking to her, laughing, smiling... flirting. So I left. He didn't even notice." She trembled as her tears fell and she cried out with a heartbroken sob as Leah pulled her into her arms.

She was getting worse. That was for sure. Every second, like a frayed ribbon she would lose a thread; a thread of her life, strength and will to live and we watched on helplessly not knowing how or where to begin at trying to save our Bella.

But we would save her, we had to.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> So, what do you think? Please let me know.


	2. Memory Lane

**AN: **Wow, I've got to say a BIG thank you to you all. I wasn't expecting the response I've gotten for this story but I am thrilled by it. I've got to say I am very committed to this story so hopefully the chapters will just keep flowing hopefully one or two a week. So without further ado, enjoy...

**A Drop in the ocean **

**Chapter Two- Memory Lane **

Leah POV

Paul carried her into the house where a tired looking Charlie waited. Once he saw Bella in Paul's arms he jumped to life immediately taking her from Paul who reluctantly let her go.

The scene was familiar. I had seen it many times in Sam's head. The night he found her and taken her home to Charlie who had insisted on carrying his little girl into the living room and placing her on the sofa, wrapping her in an old yet warm looking blanket.

He did the same; he took a blanket from mom who had appeared looking just as tired and worried. We were all worried and with good reason. Bella lay asleep on the sofa, a blanket of woven brown wool wrapped around her as she cried silently even in her sleep.

"Where was she?" Charlie whispered hoarsely.

"A clearing in the woods," Sam answered simply. He didn't take his eyes off Bella once, he loved her like a sister and it was killing him to see her the way she was.

The way I was. Though I knew that Bella wouldn't become the bitch I had become once I stopped crying. No, Bella wouldn't become like me but maybe that was better than the other alternative I could think of; her becoming the lifeless robot she had been after Fuckward left. _No, I won't let that happen. _

I had warned her, countless times and I had tried beating it into Jacob more than once but neither of them listened. They were both so stubborn _now look whats happened. _I knew it would end in heartbreak; Bella's heartbreak and I didn't want that for my sister, not again she didn't deserve it.

I moved from my spot next to Embry and made my way to Bella, she lay peacefully but her expression said her sleep was anything but peaceful. I sat on the floor beside the sofa and stroked my hand along her hair, repeating it over and over again. I didn't know if it was soothing for her or if she even realised I was doing it, but it was helping me a little so I carried on.

"You should all go get some rest, I'll stay with her." I said to everyone in the room though I didn't take my eyes off Bella's twitching face. Her lips were tugged downwards and her eyebrows set in a sad frown. She looked heartbroken even in her sleep, the way her arms wrapped around her middle under the cover, apparently she used to do that in the early stages of Fuckward leaving but I hadn't known her then.

"You'll be ok?" Sam asked concern in his tone not only for Bella but I realised also for me. _Does he realise that seeing Bella the way she is reminds me of how I was when he imprinted on Emily? _I thought to myself.

"I'll be fine," I replied not trusting myself to say anything else so I turned my attention back to my sister.

"I'm staying," no one said anything as Paul sat in the chair on the opposite side of the room. He didn't say anything else, he just sat, his eyes on Bella. On the surface he looked indifferent but his demand to stay and the emotion you could see if you looked hard enough said he was anything but indifferent. He cared like the rest of them.

I never understood their relationship. They seemed to hate each other yet need each other at the same time. It was odd but at times was entertaining, Bella gave as good as she got and wasn't afraid to fight back if Paul said or did something out of line. She was fearless in a lot of ways and that was one of the many reasons why I loved Bella.

"Well be round first thing tomorrow," Sam said as he began to shove the Pack out the door. No one wanted to go of fear that if they took their eyes off Bella they would never see her again, I knew how they felt.

With the blow of Jacob imprinting I had no idea what Bella would do next. Would she fall apart completely? Would she want to leave? Would she want the Pack to leave her alone?

I didn't know and neither did anyone else, so for that reason and the fact that none could tell what Bella's mental state would be, had us all on edge.

"There isn't much point, she probably won't wake up. She's mentally and physically exhausted. She must have just run straight into the woods and just kept running until she couldn't go any further." I whispered to the room filled with sombre expressions. "She probably won't wake up for a while."

_I wouldn't blame her!_

"We'll be here in the morning."

They all left minus Seth, Charlie, mom and of course Paul. Mom and Seth both gave me a hug while Charlie settled with a smile before asking me to promise to look after his baby girl.

It brought tears to my eyes seeing him that way. So defeated and broken. It wasn't the Charlie I was used to and it unnerved me a little, I wanted Charlie to be the strong Police Chief I knew he could be but I guess a child is every parent's weakness.

The house was eerily quiet. I could hear Bella's uneven haggard breathing as she slept, she would sometimes gasp or sob and a whole new wave of tears would cascade down her cheeks soaking the pillow beneath her.

"She'll be ok," Paul said out of nowhere. He had been so silent I had almost forgotten he was there. "She's strong, stronger than anyone gives her credit for, she'll get through it."

I didn't say anything immediately, I knew she was strong but everyone had their limits and it scared me to think that maybe Bella had finally reached hers.

"I hope your right," I whisper back eventually.

I heard a quiet snort come from his direction, "I'm always right Clearwater."

Despite everything I smiled because I knew that was what he was trying to accomplish. Paul could be the biggest ass in the world but he was there when you really needed him and isn't that what counts most. I knew that I probably I wouldn't appreciate him being there by the morning so I made the most of, for once, enjoying Paul's company.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

I awoke with a start. Snarling rung in my ears and at first I thought it was just part of a bad dream until I realised it was Paul that was growling. He was standing, shaking all over and emanating the most animalistic sounds I heard from him when in human form.

Seth stumbled into the room wiping his eyes lazy, "what the hell is going on?"

"Jake."

That one word and I was on my feet, I noticed that the sun was up; it was early morning, maybe seven. I went and stood next to Paul and looked where he was looking and sure enough there Jacob stood just inside the tree line staring at the house.

I let out my own snarl.

"What is he doing here?" I said seething wanting nothing more than to rip open the door and then rip open his throat.

_He has some nerve coming here_

"I don't know but we are about to find out," Seth said pointing to the opposite side of the tree line where Sam and the rest of the Pack began to emerge from.

I walked away from the window and took my spot next to Bella. I picked up the same soothing technique I had used the night before and I sat, listening as the Pack confronted Jacob Black.

Bella stirred, her head moving from side to side restlessly as if she could hear what was going on outside and she didn't like it. Her lips parted, her breathing picked up and then she whispered something that made any hope I had fly out the window.

"He's gone" she whispered sounding so broken.

Those familiar words I had heard so many times in my Pack brothers memories brought with it images of her lifeless eyes as she existed but didn't live, images of her cut arms as blood poured from her self-inflicted wounds.

The Bella we all loved would be gone when she opened her eyes and would be replaced by the Bella that Jacob had healed, only to break her again.

Could she heal again? Was it even possible?

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>Again I've got to thank you all for the wonderful responses I've had. So what do you think, still liking the story? The next chapter will be Paul's and then we'll get to see things from Bella's point of view. I'm very excited!


	3. Her Jacob

**AN: **I know I keep saying it but WOW thank you so much for the responses you've given me, I can't believe it. I never expected all the love this story is getting and its, well, it's just really lovely. So thank you to all of you. Without further ado, here is our favourite wolf (well he's mine at least) Paul...

**A Drop in the Ocean **

**Chapter Three- Her Jacob**

Paul POV

I watched as Sam and the rest of my brothers stopped ten feet or so in front of Jacob. He looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights, his eyes wide but I hated that I saw remorse in them. It would make it easier to hate him if he was blinded by the imprint and never thought of Bella again. But obviously he still cared, hated himself maybe for what he had done but I would still try my damned hardest to hate him... it was going well.

I listened intently to the conversation taking place outside.

"What are you doing here Black?" the unfriendly use of his last name didn't go unnoticed by Jacob who visible winced. Sam stared him down, obviously choosing, like me, to ignore the visible pain in his eyes.

We all wanted to be angry at him for Bella, and we were all doing an award winning job of it.

"I need to see her Sam, please." He glanced at the house and caught sight of me, I smiled, menacingly. My smile didn't hold any warmth or welcome just anger and the promise of pain if he stepped one foot closer to the house and Bella.

Sam spoke dragging Jacobs's attention from me. "I think you've done enough, she doesn't need to see you, go home."

Jacob let his head fall forward and his shoulders slump but he made no move to leave. I along with the pack began to get restless and that's when I heard it, her small broken voice whisper the same two words she'd whispered not so long ago.

"He's gone," fell from her lips and hit me with the full force of her emotions.

Jacob and the Pack heard it also because suddenly Jacob was fighting his way through the pack, my brothers fought back trying to keep him at bay.

"Let me through, she needs to know I'm not gone."

Jacob pleaded and fought his way through the pack, a look of determinate set on his face.

"I'll go speak to him," Leah said her tone more sad than angry. I turned and saw her give Bella a kiss on her forehead.

As Leah left I found myself taking her place, I didn't offer the same comfort to Bella as Leah had instead I just sat and watched her. The way her eye lids flickered and her head twitched slightly from side to side. Soft whimpers fell from her lips and I found my heart breaking a little more.

Bella and I had a strange relationship, I hated her at first. She was the leech-lover and I thought she would always remain that but then she intergrated into Pack life, pulling at everyone's heart strings, including mine. At first it started with a few names being tossed around then suddenly over night we would get into full-blown arguments over nothing but we both knew that nothing said was meant. We quickly realised it actually helped us both, we both had our own anger and together we helped each other out, in a slightly unorthodox method.

I loved Bella, though none of my pack brothers would ever get me to admit it but the thing was that I wasn't sure how I loved her but it had never mattered because she was Jacob's. _It doesn't matter now either, she'll probably never trust anyone with her heart again especially not another werewolf that could imprint at any second._

At times I wished I had imprinted on Bella. Everyone said that we were so alike and so compatible that we would be perfect together. But the idea of imprinting, taking away your free will, well it never sat right with me. After the whole Sam, Emily and Leah thing and now Jacob and Bella; it reinforced my belief that there wasn't anything good about imprinting.

I let myself focus back on the situation outside; Leah had arrived and appeared to be pushing her way through our pack brothers to get to an angry Jacob.

"Leah," he almost said in relief, "I need to see her, she needs to know I'm not gone."

There was a pause, silence then Leah spoke and it made my hard exterior crumble a little more.

"But you are gone Jacob, you are to her. You can't be who you were for her anymore." Leah whispered softly, I knew she was remembering her own pain, drawing from it to make Jacob understand.

"But I can be there," Jacob tried to reason. "Maybe not like before but I'm still Jacob."

"But you're not _her_ Jacob, not anymore. It'll only hurt; seeing you with your imprint, seeing you happy while she's dying on the inside." Leah drew in a shaky breath. "If she is going to have any chance of healing then you have to let her go, you can't love them both, not when you know you'll always chose the imprint."

There was silence.

"Her name is Mia," Jacob said. "My imprints name is Mia."

The silence the second time around was filled with tension. None of us had asked about her but I couldnt find in me to care, Bella was what mattered, she was the priority. The Mia girl wasn't sobbing in her sleep because for a second time she'd been left heartbroken by someone she loved with all her heart, no Bella was the one sobbing. She was the one that needed them.

There would be a time for us to get to know Mia, maybe one day a time for Bella to even get to know her. But that day was far away, _really really far away._

Bella shifted on the sofa, her whole body turning. Her breath washed over my neck and the sweet scent of vanilla filled my nostrils. That's what Bella smelt like to me, the freshest vanilla. It was a mouth watering scent if ever there was one. I moved closer and let my hand brush away the tears trickling down her pink cheeks.

"Go home Jacob," the silence was broken outside. By Leah who sounded plain tired. "There isn't anything you can do here."

The fight Jacob had put up had brought them closer to the house, closer to Bella, and they hadn't exactly been quiet about it.

Jacob needed to leave before Bella woke up. Even with Leah thinking she wouldn't wake up for a while Bella had a habit of doing the opposite of what we all thought and sure enough Bella was waking up. Her legs stretched out only to stop as the bottom of her feet pressed against the arm of the sofa, her eyes began to flicker more often and her breathing picked up like every time she woke from a bad dream then I realised that all that information came from Jacob, when he was phased he would think of anything and everything Bella.

I realised in that moment how much they truly relied on one another and that they couldn't do that anymore, not to the same extent anyway.

_She can rely on me _some part of me thought, though I would never be able to do what Jacob did for her.

Jacob was the reason Bella lived again, yes, the pack helped but we weren't the ones that she started smiling for, that was Jacob. Her Jacob; her sun. It was he that brought her back to herself, it was because of him that Bella learned to love again, she learned to love Jacob and she learned to love us. She accepted us as her family, accepted that we wouldn't leave her.

She murmured something, even to me it was inaudible but I knew she was waking up and I knew that Jacob couldn't be there when she did. I left the room, I made my way to Jacob who looked like he was about to crumple to the floor but at the sight of me he straightened up.

He had never liked me, even before Bella and I started our odd friendship.

"Go Black, listen to Leah. We don't need you here."

"She needs me," Jacob argued with the same statement.

I snarled my patience was running low, really low. She would be waking up, that's all I could think about, she was waking up and _he_ was still there.

"No, you're everything she doesn't need right now Black."

He opened his mouth, probably about to give some pitiful reason but I never got to hear it. Before I knew it my fist was balled, I pulled it back and then BAM right into Jacob _fucking_ Blacks face.

It felt good, satisfying but that feeling didn't last for long because my fear had come true.

"Jacob?" she whispered...

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>Dum dum dum, Bella's POV is next so be prepared for emotionally times. Thank you all again for your support, it means a lot to me.


	4. He's Gone

**AN: **I have almost a 100 reviews for only 3 chapters, that's insanely kind of you all. Your words of enjoyment and excitement at the previous and coming chapters of this story are touching. I can't thank you all enough for you support. I am truly touched and I hope this story lives up to all your expectations.

So finally its Bella's POV, for those who cry easily, I recommend tissues (I am one of those people).

Oh I should also mention I don't own anything, unfortunately.

Anyway, enjoy...

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Four- He's Gone**

Bella POV

_He's gone...he's gone...he's gone _

I opened my eyes.

_Always alone_

I took in a breath.

_Never wanted_

The air was knocked right out of me.

_Never good enough_

I wanted to breathe but I didn't seem to be able to.

_He's gone_

The suffocating black hole in my heart was back.

_He_ wasn't there to repair it either because it was himthat had made it. Or maybe he hadn't, maybe he'd just torn out the stitches that he used to hold my heart together!

No, _he _had healed my broken heart and then I had given it to him willingly because I realised that while repairing my heart he had taken it from me. It wasn't mine, it was his for the taking and he had taken it happily.

Then he let it go, and it broke along with everything else within me.

When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for a heart, when that breaks, it's completely silent. You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.

With my arms wrapped around my waist I sat up.

_Hold it together_

I wrapped the blanket someone had given me tightly around my shoulders.

_You'll be ok_

I looked around, I was alone but I was home.

_Alone, always alone_

I heard voices, angry voices. I walked to the door which was slightly ajar, for a moment I consider running back to the sofa, curling up and letting the pain take me but something made me open the door, something made me step onto the porch.

_He _was there; his face bloody but still beautiful, so so beautiful.

_Not yours _

"Jacob," I whispered before I could stop myself but as his name fell from my lips I felt the hole in my heart grow. I was whimpering mess before I knew it, I wanted to look away, I wanted him to go away but I couldn't help but stare and wish he would step closer.

_It'll always be you _he had once told me. He lied.

_Her, it's her_

She was forever sketched into my memory, the girl who stole my future. She would have his children, she would be the one wrapped in his warm arms at night. It would be her he would love forever.

"Bella, please-" I didn't hear the rest because the full force of everything hit me at once.

My emotions were running wild, I didn't know what to do or say. I didn't know whether to look at him or through him. I didn't know anything.

So I took a pitiful road, I begged.

"Please don't let her take you from me" I stepped down the porch steps towards him and the Pack who I'd only just realised were there.

He shook his head his eyes pleading for me to understand. "No. I don't want to..."

"Stay with me!" I begged only a foot away from him but I couldn't get any closer, the pack was blocking me.

_Move_

Silence followed. My heart pounded, I could hear my blood pumping through my veins. I watched as Jacob stood staring, not at me but through me, he looked like he was fighting with himself.

Then he looked at me and I saw it, the same cool none caring look that had broken my heart for the very first time. The same look Edward had given me in the woods before he left me.

"I can't."

He walked away.

_He doesn't want me_

My breathing picked up.

_He's not even going to try_

My knees gave out just as a half scream half sob escaped my chest, bubbled in my throat then slipped past my lips.

I was caught by large, hot hands.

_Not his_

I was picked up. People whispered around me, or maybe they were just too far away for me to hear. It didn't matter though; I didn't want to hear anything else.

_He's gone _

_A Drop in the Ocean_

We all get lost once in a while, sometimes by choice, sometimes due to forces beyond our control. When we learn what it is our soul needs to learn, the path presents itself. Sometimes we see the way out but wander further and deeper despite ourselves; the fear, the anger or the sadness preventing us returning.

Sometimes we prefer to be lost and wandering, sometimes it's easier.

Sometimes we find our own way out.

But regardless, always, we are found.

I was lost, it was so much easier wandering further and deeper into myself and blocking out all life around me, I took that over pain. I was aware but I didn't care about what was happening. I spent my time wondering if I'd done things differently would my life have been better. But if I'd done it differently I would have never had the time I had with _him_, and with everything that had happened in my life, I couldn't even imagine loosing the way I felt about him. Not ever. He was my sun, the ray's of light that broke through even on the cloudiest of days. He was the light at the end of the tunnel.

I always thought that he and I would be together for life, for me it was a done deal and it had seemed he had felt the same but sometimes things and people just go. Just like that.

My sun wouldn't shine, not for me at least, never again. There would be no light at the end of the tunnel, he had switched it off; taken it when he had left.

He had gone.

But people can appear just as quickly as they can disappear.

Paul found me. Paul found a way through to me when no one else could. He held my hand and led me out of the darkness and despair; he brought me back.

Paul's voice broke through the walls I'd built; his tone was rough and wild just like his personality. It sparked interest deep inside of me, a fragment of a memory of a time when I smiled.

"You need to do this, okay Bella. Breathe, eat, sleep, wake up, and then do it all over again until one day it's just not as hard anymore. I promise it'll get easier but I need you to try." He whispered to me and with those few words I let the darkness recede completely.

I met his eyes with mine.

I was blinded with a beautiful smile.

"Welcome back Bella,"...

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>So Bella's POV, do we like it? The next one or two chapters will be in other peoples POV's because I want to get a perspective of time and the pack's lives and emotions while Bella was in her 'zombie' stage. Do you want any particular POV's? let me know if you do.


	5. Lost Girl

**AN: **Over 100 reviews, it's insane! I think I might be dreaming. Thank you all for your lovely kind words. They mean ever such a lot and it inspires me, your dedication to this story makes me want to write it even more.

**A Drop in the Ocean **

**Chapter Five- Lost Girl**

Paul POV

I caught her as she fell; the horrific noise that escaped her was etched into my memory forever.

"Idiot, he is such an idiot," Sam said seething.

I watched him then looked at Leah who had been oddly quiet since Bella had arrived. She stood staring in the direction Jacob had walked off in before she turned her gaze to Sam who was pacing and shaking in anger.

"He's you," Leah whispered so quietly that without our enhanced hearing we wouldn't have heard.

Sam stopped; I held my breath along with my other brothers while Sam and Leah stared at one another.

"I am nothing like Black."

"The situations are different but the outcome is the same Sam, a girl left broken because of an imprint. You've both done it, left one girl for another." Leah dropped her head, "Maybe you should go, all of you. Paul, Seth and I can look after Bella today."

I looked down at the girl in my arms. Her eyes were closed, the soulful brown orbs hidden behind her fluttering eye lids. No more tears fell from her eyes, no broken sobs or whimpers escaped her lips.

Nothing happened.

He had done it; Jacob Black had broken Bella completely. He should have walked away when he had the chance, the chance of not hurting Bella further but he couldn't do it, he couldn't save even a little piece of Bella. He had to take it all, break her completely before walking away.

"I'd like to stay," I looked up to see Embry standing in front of me looking down at Bella.

"Shouldn't you go comfort your bestie Black!" I said with a snarl.

"She needs us more," and with those words Embry went up in my estimations.

I nodded and walked into the living room, leaving the pack behind me. I didn't much care for the mini fight Leah and Sam were having. I didn't much care for Quil who had headed in the direction Jacob had taken off in.

I only cared about Bella.

_A Drop in the Ocean _

Three weeks she had been 'zombie Bella', for three weeks I did pretty much everything for her. I helped her eat, shower, even go to the toilet. She would surely have been blushing none stop if she realised but she didn't even seem to know when she was taking a bath, or when she was being feed soup because it was the one thing that we could get her to eat.

Between me and Leah we kept her washed, fed and 'relieved'.

Day twenty two had me and Jared looking after Bella. Everyone took it in turns; we worked around day jobs, patrol and school for Seth Colin and Brady. We all helped, we all wanted to help but Black stayed away, thankfully.

He still patrolled but he patrolled alone or with Quil who was the only one who could tolerate him to a degree where they could actually be around each other and not fight. The rest of us stayed away, Sam Leah and I were the worst; we couldn't even hear the name Jacob Black without phasing.

The anger ran deepest in us three, me because I was in love with her and Leah and Sam because it hit a nerve deep within both of them, and of course they both loved Bella to. Leah knew what Bella was going through more than anyone; she had gone through it to. She had been left heartbroken because the man she loved had imprinted on someone else.

In the weeks that we cared for Bella, Leah and I came to an understanding, we were almost friends.

With Sam, I wasn't sure if he was angry at Jacob or himself for not stopping the relationship between Bella and Black. He could have but none of us at the time could seem to find it in us to worry about their relationship; they were so happy none of us thought that one day that happiness would be ripped away.

We should have all known better.

"She needs to the bathroom," Jared said as Bella began squirming, it was the only way we knew she needed the toilet; she never spoke or gave any other kind of indication.

I picked her up off the sofa and headed to the bathroom. At first I felt awkward and Leah would usually take over but she had a job and so I quickly learned that I would have to get over it and I did. It was still a little uncomfortable for me to be helping Bella do _that, _and see her like that but I learned quickly that I had to pretend it wasn't her.

The girl I had come to realise I was in love with.

It was a week into her 'zombie' phase that I realised I was _in _love with her. That I was so insanely in love with her that it hurt. It hurt that she could never know or love me back. I would keep it a secret, from everyone including Bella; she didn't need that, or me. I wasn't the best guy in the world, I had many flaws one being my tempter and the other being my love of women.

The day I realised I was in love with her I tried to get rid of it, I tried to ignore the feeling so I turned to a woman or two but nothing, they did nothing for me they just made me appreciate Bella and her soft creamy skin, her soulful eyes, her deep rich long mahogany hair, her small frame and petit features.

It was all Bella.

No one could compare.

Bella finished her business and I wiped her before pulling up her panties and sweatpants before taking her to the sink and gentle washing her hands. I noticed how tiny they were and how large mine were in comparison, I also noticed the contrast in our skin colouring, her soft white mine a deep bronze; so opposite yet it looked so good.

I picked her up and carried her back to the living room where Jared sat, staring out the window. Deep circles under his eyes showed the lack of sleep he had gotten over the weeks; it was the same with all my brothers, with Leah and me. None of us were getting the sleep we needed, not with patrolling, working and looking after Bella. Everyone was suffering, the pack was suffering. No one laughed, smiled or even spoke all that much, we were falling apart. It was as if Bella were the glue holding us together and when she wasn't around the rest of us didn't know what to do or how to be around each other.

It was worrying.

None of us could concentrate on anything accept Bella.

It had to stop.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

Day thirty, it was the last day of October and she'd been in her zombie phase for about month. The pack was fighting almost daily, we were falling apart and I believed only Bella could bring us back together.

Ironically it was the girl that was broken that could to fix us.

"Bella, I know you can hear me," I whispered.

We were alone, Leah had gone to the shops and everyone else was either at school, work or patrolling.

"Bella I need you to wake up, we need you Bella... I need you."

Nothing

"You need to do this, okay Bella. Breathe, eat, sleep, wake up, and then do it all over again until one day it's just not as hard anymore. I promise it'll get easier but I need you to try." I was almost begging and if I were a lesser man I would have felt embarrassed but instead I was greeted with the most amazing sight.

Her brown orbs opened and met mine.

They weren't filled with the same warmth and happiness but there was something in them.

I smiled, brightly, it hurt a little. It had been so long since I'd smiled that my muscles weren't used to it.

"Welcome back Bella," I whispered as I knelt before her.

In that moment I was the happiest man alive. I knew we had a long way to go, I knew that it wouldn't be easy but right then I was just happy that she'd opened her eyes and looked at me, not through me.

She was back; I just had to find a way to make her happy again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>So the general consensus was Paul, Leah or Sam POV this chapter was Paul obviously, did you like? The next chapter will either be Sam or Quil, I'm not sure if I want to give a POV from someone 'closer' to Jacob or if I want to give a POV which goes even further into how the pack were in Bella's zombie phase, what do you think? Its up to you so let me know.


	6. Brothers

**AN: **So another chapter is here, to compromise I've done half Quil POV and half Sam's POV I really wanted to have both their perspectives so I thought this would be a good solution, one chapter two POV's I hope you all think so too. One last thing, a big thank you to all those reading, following and reviewing. I'm so happy so many of you like this story.

**A Drop in the Ocean **

**Chapter Six- Brothers**

Quil POV

I watched as my bestfriend walked away, leaving a broken Bella in his wake. I'd known Jacob practically my whole life and I'd never seen him as happy as he was when he was with Bella; to see him walk away from her was, well, just plain wrong.

Everyone knew that Bella was Jacobs. It was almost unheard of to see them apart once they became an item- maybe even before that.

Jacob and Bella used to be a package deal. _I guess not anymore._

I followed him knowing Bella would be in safe hands. Paul had caught her as she collapsed in grief and despair. She didn't deserve it, Bella was a good person, loving and selfless; life wasn't at all fair to her.

I followed him at a distance and at first I didn't know where he was going until I realised we were heading for the cliff. We, as a pack, tended to go to the cliffs to unwind, there was very little that could get our adrenaline going but cliff diving did it. But I doubted that Jacob was there to unwind, more likely he was there to reminisce or feel sorry for himself.

_He's my bestfriend but I can still be mad at him._ I had thought to myself, and I was mad at him, for what he had done to Bella. He could have done so many things to prevent what was happening to her, well one thing, never started a relationship with her.

"I almost lost her here; the day she jumped I was so scared that I would lose her for good." Jacob started talking as I stepped onto the rocky surface of the cliff; I'd left the shadows of the woods behind me. "Ironic isn't it, I saved her life that day and now I've just undone everything I ever did to help her."

It was hard to mad when he sounded so broken but I found it in me, he couldnt get off easily with what he had done. But he was my brother, and my bestfriend.

"It was your choice Jacob, you knew you might imprint. This is your fault, and hers, you both knew and yet you both ignored everyone's warnings." I said coolly, trying to stay indifferent when I felt anything but.

"I loved her Quil; I couldn't walk away from her."

"You just did." I saw it again, Bella falling as Jacob turned his back on her. Her eyes, her half scream of despair. He had done that, Jacob Black.

Jacob shook his head and turned to face me, I couldn't look him in the eyes though. I could hear the despair in his voice, I didn't need to see it in his eyes- it would make it harder to stay mad at him. "I had to... I can't... Leah was right. I can't have them both and I love Mia, I mean she's my soul-mate, she's the one."

"You used to say that about Bella."

His shoulders sagged, he was trying to justify his actions but there was no justification. Maybe fickleness, they had both believed so much in their love they forgot the other forces at work.

"I want to fight for her, but the wolf in me, he knows what he wants. It's not Bella."

"And the man?" I asked, often we all forgot that we were men as well as wolves. The man in us still existed; the man in us could fall in love without an imprint bond just most of us thought it would be best to wait and fall in love with the one. Our imprint. Obviously Jacob hadn't felt the same, he was adamant that imprinted or not Bella was the one for him.

"The man still loves Bella but the imprint outweighs that love. I finally understand how Sam feels, he may love Leah but that love could never compare to the love he has for Emily."

I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. What could I have said? I couldnt fix things, and I didn't know if I could even say anything to make him feel a little better and in truth he didn't deserve to feel any better about himself.

"They hate me," he said pitifully.

I didn't correct him.

"Brothers fight it doesn't mean they stop being your brothers." I said instead.

Yes we all felt anger towards him but in time we would all forgive. It would take some longer than others but the pack always stuck together. We were family, and family always forgive.

_A Drop in the Ocean _

Sam POV

The exchange between Leah and I several weeks back had me thinking, wondering and trying to separate the differences between me and Black.

Yes, we had both imprinted and hurt someone else in the process but I had done it unknowingly. I had no idea or concept of imprinting, it had just happened and I had no control over it but Jacob knew; he knew he could imprint and he could tear that girl apart.

But he never listened.

_Would I have listened?_

Yes, if I knew I would end up imprinting on Emily Young I would have never gone out with Leah if it meant sparing her of the pain I knew she was in daily. Being in the pack was not easy, sharing a mind with pack was even worse, sharing a mind with your ex who is in love with your cousin; excruciating. I knew because I felt her pain daily.

But I couldnt switch off my feelings, so she also knew that I still loved her and I did but it wasn't enough, which I think hurt her more but the imprint bond isn't something you can fight. It's for life.

"Are you going to see Bella later?" Embry said as I passed him on the porch stairs. He looked worn out, his eyes we circled with dark shadows, no one was getting much sleep and it showed on all of us.

I nodded, "I'll go keep Paul company as Leah is working late and Jared is patrolling soon."

Embry headed into my house where Seth was already eating half the food Emily had cooked. The smell of her apple pie took me back to the last time she had made it; for Mia's welcoming bonfire. It had been a tense affair and not everyone had come, Paul and Leah had stayed with Bella who was still unresponsive.

No one had talked to the couple accept Quil who made polite conversation. Hell, even Claire who was too young to understand why we weren't speaking to them ignored them, noticing that they weren't much liked or welcome.

Emily had tried, she had even tried to talk to Mia but her smile was false and the warmth in her eyes wasn't there. Emily cared just as much about Bella as the rest of us and even Emily, my kind, loving maternal imprint couldnt be around Jacob or Mia for long.

It was sad, the girl didn't deserve it; she had technically done nothing wrong but she was part of the reason Bella was the way she was; unresponsive, dependant on everyone else but herself and why she was just completely gone.

Charlie wanted to get professionally help but in the end we all agreed that it couldnt happen. How could Bella be helped by people who had no idea what was going on and they could never know. Our world, the world Bella had been dragged into, was not one to tell in a counselling session. It would have got Bella locked up in some mental home.

I headed to the Swan-Water residence, it always saddened me every time I entered and saw a still, lifeless Bella. I was angry at Bella as well as Black, she knew about imprinting, she knew what she was getting into but damn Jacob Black didn't give up, he convinced her and himself that he wouldn't imprint and naively Bella believed him.

_Now look what has happened, to all of us._

The pack was suffering I could see my brothers growing more and more withdrawn, from each other and life; I was Alpha but there was nothing I could do. Hell, the only time we really became a united pack again was when Black was around –on the rare occasions- and we would joke and laugh with each other like old times and we let Jacob watch from the outskirts. It was childish and cruel but for a few moments it made us feel like he understood some of the pain Bella was undoubtedly feeling.

I plodded up the stairs and pushed the door open expecting to be greeted with the same familiar sight.

But I wasn't.

"Welcome back Bella," Paul whispered to Bella who was looking at him. Her brown eyes held some emotion, I didn't know what emotion but in that moment I didn't care.

I just cared that finally there was some hope to hold on to.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>This was really a filler chapter, a chapter to show different POV's from within the pack. What did you think about Quil and Jacob's conversation? I've noticed there is quite a bit of hate for Jacob and I kind of understand it but I don't want this story to be a Jacob bashing story because I love Jacob, he made a mistake, both he and Bella did and in later chapters I hope you can all learnt to forgive Jacob.

Next chapter is going to pick up from Bella's POV because I enjoyed writing her POV or maybe I'll do a Paul chapter because we all love a bit of Paul don't we. What do you guys want, whose POV would you like next, Paul or Bella?


	7. Her Return

**AN: **So here is another chapter. Again big thank you to everyone reading and reviewing, it means so much to me that you are all enjoying this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it. So this chapter is all about Bella and Paul mostly, it doesn't go into great detail about some things but I do have my reasons so please enjoy, and ask any question if you have them.

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Seven- Her Return**

Bella POV

Welcome back

_Am I back _

Yes!

"Bella"

Paul stared at me, his eyes that had seconds before held happiness was replaced with concern.

"Bella, are you ok?"

_Am I ok?_

"Paul" I whispered meekly. It hurt, speaking that is. _How long has it been?_

"Hey B," he whispered back softly, concern etched into his features as his werewolf eyes flickered over my face and darted down my body. Ja- _he _used to do it when I was crying, checking for injuries, making sure I wasn't hurt _he _had said.

Paul was doing the same.

"I'm fine Paul," I said which made him look at me, into my eyes.

_I'm not fine_

As if he could read my mind he shook his head from side to side, almost sadly. "No you're not Bella, but you will be, in time."

_In time; try forever_

I nodded though I didn't believe him. I would never be _fine _again, of that I was sure of. How could I ever be fine? I'd lost the one man I loved, he had left me, tossed me aside, walked away and never once did he look back. I was replicable.

For the second time I'd been left; thrown aside.

_Not worthy_

I hadn't been good enough for Edward, I was a toy and distraction, that is what he had said; I was a distraction. What was I for Jacob, a distraction; a way to pass the time before he found his imprint?

_I don't want you_

I'd asked _him_ to stay and he said he couldn't. He walked away from me, my sun had just left me and I'd let the shadows taken me.

"How long?"

Paul knew what I meant but to my surprise it wasn't he who answered. Another voice, a familiar voice spoke form the corner of the room.

"A month Bella, it's been a little over a month."

Sam stepped forwards, his expression as sad as his voice.

I felt the tears fall again. I felt the guilt creep through my veins and seize my heart, fighting with the pain that already had it in its grasp, both battled within me but pain won. There wasn't enough room for both but I was sure the guilt would try again, try and try until it won.

"A month" I repeated slowly, tasting the words on my tongue.

Before it had been months but I had remembered that period of time, the time when I existed after Edward left me, but what scared me was I remembered nothing of the month after _he _walked away.

Paul was still beside me, staring at me with concern before glancing at Sam who, like Paul, was staring at me.

"I don't remember!" I said so quietly but they would hear; they were werewolves.

I felt a hand slide into mine, a hot large tanned hand. I could imagine it was _his _hand and not Paul's but I couldnt imagine it was _his _voice; the voice belonged to Paul and Paul alone. It was rough, wild and deep- a lot like Paul himself. "What don't you remember?"

I sniffled, "anything, I don't remember anything after he... after he walked away".

I looked at Paul, tears cascading down my cheeks before I said the only thing I knew to be true. "He just walked away."

_A Drop in the Ocean_

I dragged myself out of nightmares every morning and find there was no relief in waking.

A month had passed since Paul pulled me away from the darkness but the shadows still followed me; reminding me that I could escape the pain, that if I just let them take me I could forget.

But I didn't let it consume me.

I couldn't, it would hurt the pack, my father, my brother and sister; it would hurt Paul. I couldn't be that selfish, not again.

I remembered what _he _said me, when Edward left. When I was just a shell of the girl I used to be, he had told me what his dad told him when his mother died, different situation but the words still rung true. '_It's possible to go on, no matter how impossible it seems, and that in time, the grief lessens. It may not go away completely, but after a while it's not so overwhelming'_.

It was possible to go on, then because I had _him _and he made everything better; over time. But with him gone I wasn't sure it was possible to go on, but I was proven wrong. It was possible, thanks to Paul. He was my rock, like _he _used to be my sun. Paul was there, through thick and thin, he was constant and he didn't baby me; he was Paul after all.

He knew what I needed and he gave it to me, but more often than not he knew what I needed from myself and he got me to see it. He made me realise that I had to help myself, that I couldn't rely on other people for everything.

Something's you have to do alone.

Paul also taught me that being alone wasn't such a bad thing; it wasn't something to be feared but to appreciate.

Paul taught me a lot.

"BELLA" he called, barging into my room where I had been laying on my bed reading.

I finished my paragraph before looking up at him, his shirtless form and his goofy smile. I kept my face expressionless and just stared at him, "Yes Paul, what can I do for you?"

His goofy smile turned into a smirk, "well," he stepped forwards, his posture changing to one of a predator, it took me only a moment before I realised I was the prey. "What are you offering?"

He stopped by my bed, crouching down so his face was level with mine. His smirk was still firmly in place and the glimmer in his eyes told me he was very amused, probably because of the blush that I could feel burning my cheeks.

I hit him with book, and huffed. Paul would always be Paul.

_And I wouldn't change him for the world._

"Come on B, we are going shopping. We need food and your cooking for the pack later," he said before bounding out the door leaving me open mouthed and gobsmacked.

I'd made progress in a month but I hadn't gone out much. Not anywhere I thought I could bump into _him _and going to the one shop in La Push, well that was too high a risk of seeing him for my liking.

"I'm not going," I said and picked up my book and began to read again. I knew he would have heard me.

He appeared at the door, his arms crossed leaning against the frame.

"Yes, you are."

I shook my head, "no Paul, I'm not. You go and I'll cook whatever you buy."

"Your coming, you need to get out!"

"No what I need is for _you_ to get out!"

Our bickering hadn't changed and I found that though I didn't like arguing with him, it made me feel something, other than pain and sadness.

"Bella," he used his serious voice as he stepped into the room. "You need to get out, you can't hide away forever."

I arched my brow at him, "watch me."

He through his hands up in the air in frustration, "You can't do this Bella you can't live your life hiding from people. You have to start living, you have to go out." He knelt down beside my bed and took the book from my hands. "You can't avoid him forever B, you're going to see him at some point, and you're going to see her."

I winced and closed my eyes while I grinded my teeth.

_He's right_

I hate him

_No, you don't hate him. _

"I can't Paul, I can't" I pleaded.

"Yes Bella, yes you can. Don't let them rule your life."

I felt the warmth of his hand cup my cheek, I opened my eyes and found him only centimetres away. He wore a soft smile while his eyes shinned with emotion, an emotion I couldn't decipher. My breathed in, slowly, his scent hit me and calmed me and I found myself nodding and agreeing.

"Ok, I'll come."

His smile grew and I almost thought it was worth it, seeing him smile properly.

"Come on then, get something decent on then we can go." He said almost cheerfully.

I looked down and took in my tatty blue jeans and green jumper.

"This is decent!" I said with a scowl.

He snorted, "of course it is."

He left before I could find a heavy object to hurt him with.

Much to my dismay I found myself changing anyway. So with a new-ish pair of jeans buttoned up and a coat covering up the jumper I headed to the shop with Paul in toe.

We walked mostly in silence, I was taking in everything like I was seeing it for the first time, La Push was still as beautiful as it had been before. I found myself cursing, mentally telling myself off for not leaving the house sooner.

But then the reason for me not leaving the house stepped out the shop... his arm around the girl that stole my future and through the pain I remembered why I hadn't left the house.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>Most of you are going to hate me for leaving it like this but I promise I'm not trying to be mean intentionally. So what do you think? Jacob and Bella talk in the next chapter, which I'm very excited about and I can't wait to hear your reactions to it, but for now I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	8. In Love with You

**AN: **So this chapter is a bit emotional. I cried a little while writing it so be warned. I'm sorry I left it on such a cliffy on chapter seven but hopefully this chapter was worth it.

Again, big thank you to everyone reviewing and reading. It means so much and I hope you don't stop enjoying this story. I need to say a big thank you to **Iamtwilightobssesed, **she is the most amazing follower and reviewer and I think she loves this story nearly as much as I do! She has written a lovely review as well (the link will be on my page) also check out her stories because they are without further ado, I hope you enjoy...

Iamtwilightobsessed, this chapter is dedicated to you :)

**A Drop in the Ocean **

**Chapter Eight- In Love with You**

Bella POV

I turned away but Paul was right there. He shook his head, "come on." He said before pulling me in the direction of the shop and them! "You can do it, just pretend they aren't there." Paul said in a calm reassuring tone but I was far from being calm, even Paul couldn't stop my panicking.

They hadn't noticed us. I was thankful at first until he stopped and turned on the beautiful blonde girl and kissed her. It wasn't a peck on the lips either, it was a full blow, passionate kiss that no one should have ever seen; especially me.

But I couldn't stop looking!

_He used to kiss me like that _

I must have started crying at some point because Paul was wiping away the tears and holding me against his chest, trying to calm me but while doing that he was also growling, rather loudly.

Too loudly

They saw us

_He _looked at me

"Bella" he whispered my name but it sounded like he was screaming it, it rung in my ears and tore at my heart long after he had uttered it.

He stepped closer but I stepped back, shaking my head, my silent plea for him to not step closer.

"Jake," the girl, his imprint said softly, looking confused as she looked between us as we stared at one another.

_She doesn't even remember me, the girl who stole everything from me. She can't even remember the face of the girl's life she destroyed._

I clutched at my waist, it was like old times. I'd gone back right to when Edward left, clutching at myself, trying to hold myself together in fear that if I let go I would fall apart completely.

"Paul, get me away from here...please."

He nodded and picked me up running into the forest, I looked back. I saw him watching us, me. I saw the pain in his eyes, I thought I'd feel guilty, I never thought I'd want to cause _him _that emotion but instead I found I wanted him to feel pain, I wanted him to feel what I felt. I wanted him to suffer.

If I couldn't have my happy ever after, why should he?

_A Drop in the Ocean_

They slide down my arm like the tears slide down my face, rolling into one. Yet while my tears were colourless, they were deep red, while the paths my tears left were invisible; the paths they left were red.

I sat remembering, how the blade cut my skin. How, for a time, I felt a different kind of pain. A pain I could control.

My hand shook as I held the blade so dangerously close to my skin. So close, yet I couldn't get my hand to stop shaking.

Paul had taken me home, stayed with me until I convinced him to go get the food without me. I needed time alone, to be by myself.

So I sat alone, my legs crossed on bed with a small blade in my hand. I was at war with myself, _should I, shouldn't I _was the only thing running through my mind.

The blade got closer, I felt its cool metal touch my skin.

_Think of Charlie, Leah, Seth, the pack... Paul. Think of Paul._

The blade fell from my shaking hand and just in time as well.

"Bella," I heard him call, I didn't answer, my mouth was dry and I couldn't seem to comprehend what was happening.

"Bella," his voice got closer and more anxious.

I stared at the door, I couldnt move. I waited with bated breath.

My door creaked and there he stood.

_He's here_

I didn't know what to do!

_He shouldn't be here, he can't be_

He looked at me, really looked. He then saw the blade settled on the bed where I had dropped it.

"No, Bella." His voice broke with what I could only describe as heart-wrenching pain.

He stepped forwards but I flinched and shuffled backwards.

He stopped and sniffed the air, probably for blood and when he didn't smell it his posture relaxed, slightly.

We stared at one another.

He broke the silence.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, merely three feet away from me.

He looked the same, yet different. He looked tired and upset yet there was happiness in his eyes, an emotion that I thought no amount of pain could take away. He would always be happy, in some degree, shape or form, as long as he had her.

I shook my head letting my tears fall. I had no energy to stop them, I couldn't pretend to be unaffected, I couldn't pretend that him being in love with someone else didn't hurt me deeply, because I was never a good liar and when I did lie, he could always see through it.

"Don't be," I whispered. "We both knew it could happen, I just didn't realise that once it did I would mean so little to you."

He stepped forwards. "You don't Bella, I still care about you."

I smiled sadly at him, "The day you imprinted how long did it take you to realise I was gone?"

He hung his head, knowing I was right.

Silence hung in the air between us like a bad smell. I wanted him to leave, I wasn't ready to see him, talk to him, be near him but as I tried to find the right words to ask him to leave he spoke.

And the last piece of my heart was ripped out my chest.

"I loved you Bella, but I can't fight the imprint; I can't not be with her."

I stared at him, tears clouding my vision.

_I loved you Bella_

He _had_ loved me

"That's the problem," I said with a sob, my chin was shaking as I tried to keep the hysterical sobs at bay. "You loved me, but I'm _still_ in love with you."

My breathing was quick and shallow, I watched him as he watched me. His face crumpled into one of pain matching my own.

How had we got there? How had our lives changed so dramatically?

"I don't want to lose you Bella." His voice almost a whisper, seeing his haggard expression, I got off my bed and slowly took his hand and squeezed it, and then reluctantly I let it go. I could feel the tears again, but that time I fought them back.

I had start being strong.

"But you don't want to keep me, either, do you?"

To that, he had no response but the response he gave told me everything I needed to know.

"You really love her don't you?"

"With all my heart," he answered quickly, so quickly it sting.

He flinched and stepped forwards, "I'm so sorry Bella, I don't know what to do."

I pushed aside my own pain, for old times' sake I would be his bestfriend, just one last time before I let him go- for good.

"What is your heart telling you to do?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe," I said gently. "You're trying too hard to hear it."

I cupped his face in my hands. "You imprinted for a reason, be happy Jake. Let me go."

I smiled through my tears.

We were both crying.

We both knew what was happening.

"I never thought it would end this way," he whispered to me softly, his lips brushing against my forehead. "I never thought this day would come."

I didn't have time to reply because then he kissed me.

It wasn't that long, and it certainly wasn't the kind of kiss you see in movies but it was wonderful in its own way, and all I can remember about that moment was that when our lips touched, I knew the memory would last forever.

"Goodbye Jake."

_I'll always love you_

He was gone.

I realized that destiny could hurt a person as much as it could bless them, and I found myself wondering why-out of all the people in all the world I could ever have loved- I had to fall in love with someone who was taken away from me.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.

I was lying on my bed when Paul returned.

He knew straight away. Obviously, he could smell his pack brother and he rushed to my room.

I just stared at him as he stared at me.

The tears had come and gone.

I didn't think I could cry anymore even if I wanted to.

But I didn't want to.

_I'm tired of crying._

"I'm ok Paul," I said softly. "I... we... I've let him go."

Paul was by my side in a flash, his arms wrapped around me. For the first time I didn't imagine it was Jacob holding me, it was Paul's arms that were comforting me and I let them.

"No Bella, you haven't let him go, but you want to and that's the first step."

I pulled back and looked at him.

He knew me, well, too well.

"Will you help me?"

He smiled a genuine smile. Not a smirk but a smile one that made my heart clench and a foreign emotion flutter in my stomach.

"Of course Bella, I'm always here, I promise."

_That's a promise he might not be able to keep_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>So another chapter, next POV will be Paul's or one of the other pack members, who would you like to hear from?


	9. Never Again

**AN: **Again big thank you to everyone who is following and reviewing this story, all your lovely comment put a smile on my face, So BIG BIG BIG BIG thank you to you all. So this is chapter nine, wow, it only seems like yesterday I was writing chapter one! Anyway, I hope you enjoy...

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Nine- Never Again**

Paul POV

I smiled down at her but inside I was furious, not with her but with the little shit, Jacob_. _I fought back the snarl as I smiled down at her and her tear stained cheeks and told her I would always be there for her.

I would be.

No imprint could make me forget her, of that I was sure.

I could never let her go so easily, not like Jacob Black. I would fight for her and if I lost the battle I would still be by her side, as anything she needed me to be- if she wanted me to be something.

No mystical, magically stupid bond would make me forget the love I held for Bella, I was sure.

I moved, hoping to make Bella more comfortable as she rested in my arms and that's when I saw it. The light reflected off what seemed to be the inside of a sharpener. The thin metal laughed at me, taunted me; I stiffened but not enough for Bella to notice.

I let my sense go, my nostril flared- there was no blood. _This time._

I closed my eyes. She had come so close to that dark dangerous road once again. When Embry had found her, blood streaming down her arms he was distraught, we all were. We had all missed the signs... and I had missed them again.

Bella sniffed and I tore my eyes away from the small blade to see her staring at it to and then at me. We stared at one another, neither of us wanting to acknowledge the small shining blade that lay on the crumpled bed sheets below us.

"I wanted to," she whispered softly, looking at the blade, I wished she would look at me instead.

"But you didn't," I said back just as softly. I tilted her head so she was looking at me; I hoped my eyes reassured her I wasn't angry, that I was proud instead.

She had fought the darkness, the desire and she won_._

She stayed still and silent, it seemed like she wanted to say more but she didn't and neither did I. Not on that subject anyway.

"So I got some food," I said while I pulled her up to her feet. "I told Emily we would be there around three so you both have time to cook."

We needed a distraction and I knew food was the best bet. Bella was a born to cook I was sure of that and so were the pack, and she enjoyed it. On many occasions I had seen her cooking to calm herself down, or to take her mind of something – or someone.

"What time is it now?"

I looked at the clock as we made our way into the lounge, "We have ten minutes."

She nodded and made her way to the plastic bags filled with food. When Jacob's scent hit me I dropped everything, literally and went to Bella.

I watched as she rooted around the bags making approving noises. I smiled. Her hair was a mess, her cheeks were stained with mascara that had obviously run down her cheeks while crying and she was flushed all over, probably from being in close proximity to me and the heat emanating off me.

But she looked beautiful.

She always did.

She caught me looking, and for a moment her expression was puzzled but then she smiled, and it was the most beautiful sight, it reached her eyes for the first time in God knows how long.

I knew that we had a long road ahead, she would need to let go of Jacob and she would need me and the pack for that but somewhere, deep inside of me, I let myself hope that one day she could love me like I was in love with her.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

Sam POV

The pack was all together, one big family, minus Jacob and Mia; of course.

"Oi Quil, pass me the damn sauce," Bella snapped after asking him for the seventh time, chucking a chip at him only for him to catch it in his mouth and eat it.

"Thank B," he smirked.

I smiled, dinner was chaos and it was nice, it was normal.

Paul had filled us all in while Bella was in the kitchen with Emily, cooking up a feast for us all. It was odd, having her back- a good odd. We had all missed her. Though her being back didn't mean she was ok, Paul had told us about the blade sitting on her bed; he had told us she had expressed her need to hurt herself.

But she hadn't and we were all focusing on that. That she decided not to, that had to mean something, right?

He also told us about Jacob's visit. To say I was mad would be an understatement, I was fuming. I had told him to stay away from her, for both their sakes but no, he didn't listen to me which was no surprise- he rarely ever did.

I watched as Paul and Bella interacted with one another. Paul had been there for Bella more than most of us, even Leah. It was odd, but it seemed he was what Bella needed and in a way it made sense. Paul was an ass, an honest ass and he had often put Bella in her place, he hadn't treated her like she was breakable. They didn't agree on much. In fact, they didn't agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other every day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common. They both understood each other and that hadn't seemed to have changed, in fact if anything, their understanding of each other seemed to have intensified.

I watched as they interacted with each other and the pack. Instead of bickering they talked, instead of glaring at each other they glanced and those glances had me worrying.

Those glances were filled with hidden emotions, ones I didn't like.

"Hey," Emily slipped her arms around my torso from behind me, resting her head against my back. "Stop thinking and over analysing, enjoy tonight. She's here, and she's smiling. I'm going to enjoy it, so should you."

She let me go and walked away, looking over her shoulder and smiling at me with encouragement. She was right of course, I should let myself enjoy being with the pack, my family, but I couldn't switch off the Alpha in me, he was worried.

The looks Paul was giving Bella left no doubt in my mind; I knew what he was feeling.

I couldn't allow it, never would Bella be hurt again and especially not by anyone in my pack. I was a fool once; I let myself believe Bella could be happy with one of my pack brothers, but not again. I wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

I walked briskly over to Paul, he caught my eye and I motioned for him to follow me. He nodded, looking puzzled before his eyes landed on Bella and his feet were moving in her direction instantly. I walked outside, waiting in the shadows of the trees for Paul to emerge.

I could see him, through the window. He was whispering in Bella's ear, she nodded, hugged him and then he walked away. It didn't go unnoticed that he looked back, more than once as he stepped further and further away from Bella.

_This has to end, now. _

I started walking further into the woods; I didn't want any eavesdroppers listening in.

"What is it Sam?" Paul said, more huffed, as I didn't stop walking. He trailed behind me as we went deeper and deeper into the heart of the woods.

I stopped.

"You know it can never happen Paul, please tell me you know it can never work?" my back was towards him, we were stationary in a small clearing, the floor littered with rotten wood and tufts of brown grass that had never seen the light of day under the thick foliage above.

I heard him sigh; he knew what I was talking about.

"I'm helping her Sam, that's all." I could hear the lie in his voice, that wasn't all he was doing.

"No, you're falling in love with her Paul, and that's not helping her or you." I turned to face him and for once I saw Paul truly vulnerable, it unnerved me a little, never had I seen anything but the tough asshole side of Paul, hell I wasn't ever even sure he had a soft side.

Paul leaned against the trunk of an aging tree, his arms crossed as he looked at anything but me. He was uncomfortable, I could smell it but I could also smell his sadness and longing.

"You're wrong, I'm not falling in love with her, I am in love with her."

_He truly loves Bella _we had all joked about the two of them being perfect for each other even when she was with Jacob, but it was a joke but we had based that joke on fact. In a world without imprinting, shapeshiters and vampires I believed Bella and Paul would be together.

_But those things do exist, imprinting exists. _

"Imprinting has hurt Bella once, I won't let it hurt her again Paul." As I said it I knew it was true, I wouldn't let Bella get hurt like that again, I couldn't let Bella get hurt again full stop. She didn't deserve it which meant that I couldn't order Paul to stay away from her that would probably destroy her for good.

I was standing before Paul in the blink of an eye, "She can never know how you feel Paul," I started him down, he didn't look happy, at all. "You can be her friend, her bestfriend you can look after her but I'm telling you that she can't know you love her. You cannot drop that on her, she needs you as a friend."

"What if she falls in love with me Sam: what then?" Pauls stepped forwards, his wolf rising to the surface as was mine, but I pushed him down, the conversation had nothing to do with our wolves but about the men inside of us.

I let my head fall forwards, hating the words I was about to say but I knew I needed to say them anyway.

"I'll order you to stay away from her before that happens," I shook my head sadly. "I'm sorry Paul but I won't let her fall in love with another member of my pack just to get her heart ripped out again. None of us would survive that again."

_Especially not Bella_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>So Sam is trying to protect Bella, and I know many of you will be angry at him for saying what he said but he loves Bella, he doesn't want her to get hurt. Anyway, what did you think? I'm thinking of a Bella, Jacob, Leah or maybe even a Mia POV next, who would you like to hear from?


	10. A Girl named Bella

**AN: **So against some of your wishes it is a Mia POV some people didn't want to hear from her and others did and I felt I owed it to Mia to let her say her piece (well my piece because I don't want people to hate Mia) So please give this chapter and Mia a chance, you might find you don't hate her by the end. Big thank you again to all those reviewing and following, it means so much to me. Enjoy...

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Ten- A Girl named Bella**

Mia POV

_(From where Jacob and Bella first see each other again)_

One minute he was kissing me and then the next he was staring at a girl, a girl he named Bella. I stared as they stared at one another and then it hit me, it hit me as Paul one of Jacob's pack mates picked her up and carried her away.

She was _the_ Bella.

I stared at where she had disappeared as guilt ate its way through me. Jacob didn't mention her much, he had just told me they had dated but that changed when he met me. I became his world, as he often told me but I hated it, imprinting, he never had a choice.

_I wonder if Bella was ever his world. A world he chose and wasn't forced into?_

I knew I was the reason she hadn't left her house, Jacob never talked about her but Quil did when Jake wasn't around. He was the only one who talked to me out of Jacob's friends, Quil told me that it was because they loved Bella and Jacob had hurt her and by default I had to.

I hated it, I had never intentionally upset or hurt someone before and yet the day I found the man of my dreams I had dragged him away from someone else, breaking her heart. That wasn't me.

"Mia lets go," Jake grabbed my hand and led me home.

We stayed silent. I had something to say but I would wait until we were at his house, I didn't want to cause a spectacle. Neither of us needed that, we were already talked about too much. The woman who owned the little flower shop seemed to be the town gossip, the other day I had walked passed and four woman stood around talking about Jacob and the new blonde girl, the blonde girl being me, and how quickly I had arrived on the scene and the brown haired girl, meaning Bella, had been pushed aside.

They hadn't realised I'd heard and I didn't tell Jacob, he didn't need anything else to worry about. He always looked so tired, he told me it was patrolling but I knew it had something to do with Bella. He felt bad, guilty maybe even a little bit of longing; from what I had gathered they were close, really close- neither of them deserved what happened.

What happened when he met me.

We walked through the door, Jacob took the bags into the kitchen silently and I nodded and smiled at Billy who was watching TV. He nodded back but offered no smile, he hadn't warmed to me either, it seemed everyone who knew Bella loved her dearly and hated me for causing her so much pain.

_Can you blame them?_

I waited for Jacob in his room, _our_ room. I stared at the unfamiliar, yet familiar room. It held both mine and Jacob's things, there were photos of his childhood and of mine. There were photos of his friends and photos of mine. I walked over to the window and picked up the photo that sat there.

It was of a younger Jacob, smiling looking like the happiest boy alive and next to him was a young Bella. They couldn't have been more than seven in the picture; they looked so happy, young, carefree.

It was the only picture of Bella Jake had, or if not the others were hidden. Maybe for my benefit or maybe because he couldnt look at them without wanting her, missing her. I wasn't sure which was true or which one I preferred.

I didn't dwell on it though, I didn't have time because Jake walked in, looked at me then the picture in my hands.

"So that was Bella huh," I whispered, putting the picture down as he shut the door and went to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Yeah, that was Bella." His voice was rough and throaty as if he were trying to hold back tears.

I walked over to the bed and sat next to him, I didn't touch him or offer anything in the way of comfort; it didn't feel right. It wasn't me he needed comfort from or me he needed to talk to. It was Bella, he had to see Bella.

"Go talk to her Jake," I said softly, peering at him out the corner of my eye.

"I can't."

"Yes you can, just because you imprinted on me doesn't mean you can just push her out of your life. You can't forget her, you love her." It hurt to say it but I knew it was true, Jacob would never truly be mine, the way Quil had described Bella and Jacob's relationship, well, it made me realise that I would never be what Bella was for Jacob. I couldn't fill her shoes, no one could.

"I love you, when I imprinted I finally understood what true love meant. It means that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be." He looked at me, I could see in his eyes he believed what he was saying and it made me hate imprinting even more.

"Do you realise how much was wrong with that sentence. Love doesn't mean you hurt everyone around you to make the one you love happy, it doesn't mean that you can be miserable at the expense of my happiness. Jake, true love is beautiful, its kind and it's supposed to make you happy. It makes you not want to go to sleep because real life is better than any dream you could ever have." I realised I was rambling but of course Jacob was listening intently. "Jake, I know you love me but other people are suffering because of this, us. Go talk to her, please."

He stared at me and then smiled softly. He brushed his lips against mine and then buried his head in the crock of my neck.

"This is all so messed up," he murmured against me. His warm breathe danced across my skin making me want to shiver. "I never wanted anyone to get hurt, especially not Bella, or you."

"I'm not hurt Jacob, I'm just upset for you and Bella, I'm angry at myself because of what has happened to her and I'm angry at stupid imprinting!" I sighed as he lifted his head off my shoulder at looked at me, hurt shining in his eyes.

"Do you wish I hadn't imprinted on you?"

I nodded, "Yes I wish you hadn't imprinted on me. I wish you had just chosen me. I wish that you aren't forced to love me, because you are forced Jake. If you had met me and you weren't a shapeshifter and you were with Bella, would you have still picked me, would you be in love with me?"

His silence said everything. I knew it was the truth I just thought that maybe he would correct me; a small naive part of me hoped that he would have picked me out of choice, loved me because he wanted to.

_Maybe one day he will love me because he wants' to. _

He left shortly after; he left without a word only a hug. He had gone to see Bella, something I hoped would help. It would either make him or break him completely.

I found myself roaming, walking around the house lost in my own thoughts and emotions that was until I nearly bumped into Billy.

"Sorry," I said quickly nervously making sure I hadn't hurt him or he hadn't spilled the drink he was holding.

Billy nodded, "its ok, no harm done."

I smiled softly before I began to walk away, he stopped me though, his hand wrapped around my wrist lightly.

"I've been unfair to you Mia," he said slowly, almost like he was trying to figure out what to say. Billy and I hadn't shared many words in the time I had none him. He had taken to the whole 'let's no talk to Mia' thing like everyone else. Hell even Quil's imprint, little Claire never talked to me.

"That's ok Billy."

"No, no it's not. None of this is your fault, people have been... I have been blaming you for something you have no control over and I'm sorry about that." He seemed sincere, almost sad as he looked up at me.

I smiled, "You care about Bella, a lot of people do. I understand. I just hope one day people can learn to accept me and that Jacob's family want to get to know me."

Billy nodded, "I'd like to get to know you Mia, if you'd let me."

"I'd like that Billy."

We smiled at one another and then he started to wheel his way towards his room and I headed off in the direction of the kitchen but just before I got there Billy said one more thing.

"I heard what you said to Jacob," I turned and looked at him; he was at the other end of the hallway but I could see his pity for me. "He does love you Mia; imprinting happens for a reason, you're meant to be together. Let him have sometime, let him heal over the loss of Bella."

I nodded. I knew he needed time and I would give him time, I would give everyone time and hoped that one day they would all want to get to know me and want me around but until then I would be there for Jacob, come rain or shine. Jacob may have been forced to love me but I just loved Jacob, nothing forced about it. He was kind, fun, gentle- how could someone not love him!

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> So people were split, some people wanted Mia's POV some people didn't and for those of you who didn't I hope by the end you have changed your mind. Ok next chapter will be a Bella POV I think it's time we heard from her again.

To answer a question I'm being asked a lot, no Paul has not imprinted on Bella, I won't say anymore because I don't want to ruin the story but I hope that clears up that question. If you have any more please don't hesitate to ask. Anyways hope you enjoyed the chapter.


	11. A Bitter Sweet Feeling

**AN: **BIG BIG BIG thank you to everyone reading and reviewing, it means ever such a lot to me. This story has been loved more than I ever imagined thanks to all of you and your reviews are so lovely. I mean, you all just inspire me. So please enjoy and let me know what you think...

**A Drop in the Ocean **

**Chapter Eleven- A Bitter Sweet Feeling**

Bella POV

I watched as Paul followed Sam out the door, I watched as they both disappeared into the woods and I wondered what on earth they were talking about. I narrowed it down to me; they were most probably talking about me.

Maybe the blade Paul saw or maybe Jacob's appearance at my house. I winced even thinking the name but I could think it without breaking down. That was a step in the right direction.

"Hey B," Emily stood next to me, smiling like a lunatic. Paul had said before we arrived that everyone was really excited that I would be there, I guess I hadn't realised I hadn't been around the entire pack altogether since Jacob imprinted.

I winced again.

"Hey Emily," I said softly.

"How are you?"

I smiled, I thought about lying. When most people ask you how you are they don't really want to know the answer, but it was Emily asking, a member of my family. I knew she wanted to know and I also knew that most of the wolves were probably listening and would be able to sniff out any lie I told.

So I decided to tell the truth.

I shrugged, "I'm hanging in there, I think I'll be ok, in the end. I've got over it before; I can do it again, right?"

Emily smiled softly at me, "Of course you can," she said gently.

I nodded and though her words said one thing her eyes said something different. They held concern and fear; she was worried for me, that I wouldn't get over it. Truthfully I had the same fears, and it was only Paul that kept me on track.

He actually made me believe sometimes that I could be ok again, that I could be happy again.

But until that day I would try my best to smile, to laugh. So with the Pack, laughing and joking I settled into my seat, glancing out the window several times wishing for Paul to come back so he could whisper in my ear and tell me everything would be ok.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

We walked side by side, it was nearly eleven by the time we managed to escape the chaos that is Pack dinners. Paul had returned with Sam maybe an hour to an hour and a half after leaving, I didn't like the tension that hung in the air between them. Something was off, I knew it but I hadn't said anything with the Pack in hearing range.

"So," I said trying to sound casual, "what were you and Sam talking about earlier?"

It didn't work, Paul saw straight through my facade, I knew it and he knew it but we both ignored it.

He shrugged, "nothing really."

I knew I wasn't a good liar but Paul, well he was probably as bad, maybe even worse than me at lying but he never would admit it.

I arched my right eyebrow at him, "even you can do better than that." I said with a smile.

He chuckled then he looked at me and the laugh died and was replaced with sadness. "We were talking about what happened earlier."

He didn't have to say what they were talking about, I had a good idea but as I looked at him he seemed uncertain, maybe even a little nervous. Something wasn't right, there was something he wasn't saying but I let it go. Whatever they had been talking about, well it wasn't my business or my place to stick my nose in.

I changed the subject. "I enjoyed tonight, surprisingly!"

"I knew you would," he said with a smile as he slung his arm over my shoulder, he pulled me into his side. He had obviously seen my shiver. La Push was cold at the best of times but at night it was freezing.

"No you didn't, you're lying. You thought you'd have to make some excuse for us to leave." I laughed at his guilty expression. "I heard you mumbling them in the kitchen earlier."

He rolled his eyes at me and scowled playfully.

I let the smile stay spreading my lips as we walked in silence the rest of the way. It was weird, the feeling of happiness coursing through my veins. It was foreign and would take time to get used to it again, but I had hope that I would. With the pack, my family and Paul by my side I was, for once, positive that I would be ok. In time I would be the same old me again; the happy me.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

I flicked on my light switch. Paul had bid me farewell at the front door and had raced off into the woods, exploding into his silver wolf as he hit the shadows. I wondered sometimes, what life was like as a wolf, I wondered if I had been a wolf would my life have been better?

_I could run away_

But there would always be people in your head reminding you of what you left behind.

I shook my head to rid the thought. It would never happen; there was no need to think about it. I changed quickly, settling for my favourite pair of checked flannel pyjama pants and a shirt that Paul had left behind on one of his visits. I'd offered to give it back to him but he said I could just keep it, I was secretly relieved. It helped me sleep at night; it smelt like him though his scent was fading from it, or mine was masking it.

I'd have to steal another one off him.

It was odd and I didn't like to dwell on the fact that by just wearing his shirt I felt a little better, that it kept the most horrific nightmares away. I didn't like to dwell on it because I had done it once before, with someone else's shirt and different nightmares. Once it was Jacob's things or Jacob himself that had kept the nightmares away.

I shook my head again riding myself of the thoughts and inhaled deeply, soaking up the little of Paul's scent that lingered on the old grey t-shirt.

The house was silent, Seth and Leah were patrolling and Charlie and Sue were most likely asleep. I kept my light switched on, I knew sleep wouldn't take me, not for a while so I sat on the floor and pulled out one of the many boxes from underneath my bed. My copy of _Wuthering Heights _was in one of them, I hadn't read it in so long, and I felt like it was time again.

I opened the first two and only find old school books and drawings that I had done when I was younger, most of it could have been thrown out but that would have to wait for another time.

I pulled the third box out and lifted the lid, I pushed aside old bits of newspaper clippings and tatty magazines, when I'd nearly reached the bottom of the box my eyes landed on something, a few something's... I froze.

I picked up the small box, it couldnt have weighed much but it felt like the heaviest thing in the world. Once I'd removed the small box and put it aside, slowly and uneasily, I picked up the small envelope. I knew when I opened it what I would see, so I didn't bother. They were of no use to me.

My eyes landed on the last thing in the box. I swallowed loudly, my hand reached out almost fearfully. I was scared and also relived but most of all I was confused.

I got up and walked to my CD player, it was rarely used and I had thought about getting rid of it but I never had. In that moment I was thankful.

I smiled. It was a sad smile but a smile none the less. The soft melody filled my room, quietly of course. I closed my eyes, soaking up the beautiful sounds. I could picture him, Edward, his fingers running over his piano, his crooked smile as he watched me watching him.

Bella's lullaby he had called it.

I let myself remember, I indulged in the happy memories I had shared with the Cullen's.

_How had the gifts got there? Hadn't he taken them when they had left? _

I knew I would never get an answer to how they ended up in a box, under my bed and truthfully I didn't want to know, I didn't care. I switched the CD player off, I put the CD back in the case and I placed it next to the envelope and the radio for my truck that Emmett had brought me. I stared at the pile. I had been young and naive back then but it had still hurt when they had left but surprisingly finding their presents didn't fill me with sadness, pain or longing.

Just a bitter sweet feeling, however much I wanted to hate them I knew I never could or would but I was over him, all of them. Missing them had faded and was replaced with fond memories.

A cough alerted me to his presence. I turned and smiled.

"Couldn't sleep?" Charlie asked wearily.

I winced, "Sorry dad, did I wake you?"

He shook his head and walked into my room, sitting at the edge of my bed. "What are those?"

I looked at the little pile of presents. _What are they? _I thought to myself, the answer came almost instantly. "Their memories: things from the past, souvenirs."

He looked worried, maybe because of the amount of mess on my bedroom floor or maybe because I had a slight smile tugging at the corner of my lips.

"As long as you're ok?" he asked worriedly.

I smiled and stood up, kissing him on the cheek. "I'm ok dad, or at least I will be."

We sat in silence for a while, Charlie had always been a quiet man and only said something when he really meant it and I knew him well enough to know that he wanted to say something.

"What is it dad?"

He laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. "You seem happier."

I nodded, "I am."

"I heard about what happened earlier," he said softly, almost worried that I would freak out or collapse in tears.

"I know," I laughed at his expression. "I knew someone would tell you, it was only a matter of when."

"You know I'm here, if you need to talk. All of us are, but please talk to someone. Don't control your pain in other ways." He sounded tense, his eyes sad and worried as he looked at me.

I looked down, ashamed. "It was a moment of weakness, but I didn't do it. I couldn't."

We sat in silence; Charlie slung his arm over my shoulder and gave me a hug. It wasn't often that Charlie and I shared such a moment but it was nice, it was normal.

"You'll be ok Bell's." He whispered as he tightened his hug briefly.

"I know," I said staring at the pile of gifts on the floor. "Someday I'll be able to think of him and it won't hurt." I whispered.

I stared at the gifts and let myself remember the times with the Cullen's; when once those thoughts would have filled me with sadness I was only filled with a happiness of times past.

_One day, I'll be able to think of Jacob and smile without the pain breaking me in two._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>So this chapter has quite a bit of reference to the Cullen's, I did that as to show that Bella is strong enough to overcome heartbreak. She has done it once, she'll *fingers crossed* do it again! I'm thinking the next POV is either going to be Paul, Quil, Leah or maybe another Mia? What do you guys think?


	12. The Turning Point

**AN:** So I hoped you all liked the last chapter! Thanks again to all those reviewing and reading; it means ever such a lot. So here is chapter twelve, the first half is Leah POV second half is Bella POV, enjoy...

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Twelve- The Turning Point**

Leah POV

"Hewo Aunt Leah," Claire came running at me as I towel dried my hair in front of the living room mirror.

"Hey Claire," I picked her up and gave her a kiss on her forehead before setting her on the ground, she ran straight for Bella's room.

I smiled. Claire adored Bella, or Belly as she called her. One day that woman would make an excellent mother.

I winced. Motherhood was a touchy subject with me. Phasing had stopped me from being able to conceive and I could only hope that when I stopped phasing I would be able to conceive again.

"Hey Leah," Quil said, leaning against the door frame, watching as Claire knocked on Bella's door then rushed in without an answer. His smile was goofy and his laugh soft, filled with love _damn imprinting. _

"Quil," I said coolly. I was having problems with Quil, my problem being he was just as friendly with Jacob as he was before that dumb bastard broke Bella's heart. It didn't sit right with me, epically because he was friends with the Mia girl as well.

"Come on Leah, you're really still giving me the cold shoulder," he moaned.

It wasn't just me; the whole Pack was having problems with the whole situation. Unfortunately we were all taking sides and apart from Quil we all picked Bella. Yes, Embry still talked to Quil but Embry didn't talk to Jacob much- hardly at all. It was odd, Quil, Jake and Embry used to be the three musketeers; you wouldn't see one without the other two. Embry was suffering with loss of his friends but he loved Bella, and hated what Jacob had done.

"Yes I really am still giving you the cold shoulder, and I'll continue to until you come to your senses."

I brushed past him and hung the damp towel over the back of one of the kitchen chairs.

"You can't expect me to just cut Jacob out of my life, I know what he did was wrong and I love Bella as much as everyone else but its hurting Jacob too, and Mia is a nice girl. You should get to know her." Quil rushed the last few words as he saw my shaking intensify.

"Oh I'm sure Jacob is cut up about finding his soul mate, I'm sure he's at home now crying his eyes out!"I said sarcastically. "Don't even try Quil, I'm angry enough. In fact I was about to go and see Jacob anyway, he needs to explain his little stunt with coming to see Bella yesterday."

Quil swallowed fearfully, whether fearful for himself or Jacob I didn't know.

"BELLA," I called. "Me and Quil are going out for a while will you be ok with Claire?"

I heard her faint reply and smiled. "Come on Quil, don't look so scared. This is what you wanted, for me to see Jacob, isn't it?"

I smirked as we left the house.

"Hey Leah, where are you off to?" Paul asked as we passed each other on the porch steps.

"To see Jacob," I said with a sneer.

Paul smirked, "Wish I could be there to see it!"

He blanked Quil and headed into the house. I heard him greet Claire and Bella as Quil and walked down the street. I could hear the love and concern in his voice, it was soft and gentle. I knew, from my time spent with Paul looking after Bella that he cared for her but the caring was turning into something else, something more.

It worried me.

"Do you really have to do this? Can't you just leave it alone?" Quil almost begged as we reached Jacobs house.

The door swung open. "Does she really have to do what?" A concerned looking Jacob asked.

"He doesn't want me to do this," I said and then I hit him. I heard the crack as his nose broke and I watched with my twisted sense of humour as he fell back from the impact and landed ass down on the floor.

"Stay away from Bella" I snarled, very close to phasing. Quil even stepped back, giving me a wide berth. "She doesn't need you apologising, she doesn't need you anymore. It just hurts her further seeing you-"

He got up and interrupted me; I was to gobsmacked that he even cut me off to protest as he started talking.

"We said goodbye Leah, we both deserved that. Didn't we?"

I stared at him.

"I know you never got that, a proper goodbye but I had to give that to Bella, hell I'm hoping it isn't a goodbye. I hope in time we'll be friends again, hell if she smiles at me in the street I'll be happy. We needed to talk Leah, we both needed it." He was sad, really sad. I could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. Jacob was suffering, like Bella, obviously not as much but he was suffering.

_Bella wouldn't want this_

"Your right," I whispered.

I heard Quil sigh in relief.

"Which part?" he tried to smile, it didn't reach his eyes but it was a smile.

"All of it." I looked down, hanging my head in embarrassment for what I was about to admit. "I never got a goodbye, or a last kiss. I was forgotten. Sam had Emily and all of a sudden I was nothing." I never shared my emotions, I never let anyone know –besides Bella- what I was thinking if I could help it.

It felt odd to be sharing such intimate information.

"You still care about Bella?" I asked quietly but Jake knew what I was really asking.

"The imprint doesn't sever every emotion or tie we ever had for anyone else; it just weakens them but the feelings for other people, the love- it's still there." It was making it very hard to hate Jake, him being so nice and concerned. He was the Jacob we all know and love, expect he had changed to the Jacob who broke Bella's heart, the guy we all knew and _loved_!

But he was still our Jacob, wasn't he?

I turned away, I couldn't deal with him. I had gone to yell at him and instead I'd broken his nose and churned up old feelings.

"Leah," Jacob called after me.

I turned around slowly.

"What?" I snapped.

He pulled me into a hug; it was unexpected so it took me several moments to understand before I pushed him away.

"What the hell Black?"

"It's never too late, let go of him, say goodbye Leah."

Bella POV

I watched from the porch, with a glass of lemonade. Paul was chasing Claire who was squealing and giggling running as fast as she could in circles. Paul obviously could have caught her easily but instead he stayed a foot or two behind her making the game, for Claire, even more exciting.

I caught Paul glancing at me several times, a goofy smile on his face that only Claire could put there. The little girl brought out the best in him.

"Belly, Belly he's gonna get me," Claire bounded up the stairs; surprisingly fast for such a little girl. She leapt into my lap nearly knocking my lemonade out my hand.

"Don't worry; I won't let him get you Claire-bear." I said with a smirk in Paul's direction as I watched him as he slowly made his way towards us making Claire squirm and giggle but she didn't run. Her favourite part was getting caught and then having her cuddles with Uncle Paul. She was the cutest.

Leah had dragged Quil off somewhere; they had been gone only ten minutes and had left Claire in my care. I loved Claire and I loved the way she loved others, it was so simple for her, she had the people she liked, the people she didn't like and the people she loved.

_I wish I was still young and naive about love. I wish I could go back to knowing nothing and believing in everything!_

"You can't hide from me Claire," Paul said mockingly. She wiggled and squealed in my lap as Paul got closer and then all of a sudden she wasn't in my lap but in Paul's arms being tickled. Her laughter was infectious and I found myself laughing along with her.

"Belly Belly he got me, he got me."

I stood up and went to stand in front of Paul who held Claire in his arms. I saw him watching me as I leaned in, my lips hovering near Claire's ear, "maybe we should get him back." Paul heard me, wolf hearing and all but for Claire's sake he pretended he hadn't so when she began to tickle him under his chin he acted, for her.

So how I got caught up in the 'tickle-war', I wasn't sure who was tickling who by the end but when a throat clearing brought me back to reality I found I was pinning Paul down, my hands holding his wrist above his head while I was straddling his hips while Claire tickled his arm pits.

Leah raised a brow but said nothing while Quil picked up a still giggling Claire and rushed off inside to clean her up before he took her home.

We were alone.

"Are you going to stay like this all day?" Paul quipped with his trade mark smirk that rarely did anything for me but in that moment it did something to me, deep inside me.

My breath quickened, my heart sped and I knew I was blushing. I leapt off him immediately. Brushing my clothes for invisible dirt I did everything to avoid looking at him. _That had been way to... intimate. _

"Bella," Paul said my name but I pretend there was a stubborn bit of dirt on my shirt that wouldn't come off.

I heard him sigh and then the next minute my face was between his hands and my eyes were looking straight into his.

"Stop," he whispered.

"Stop what?" I whispered breathlessly.

He smiled, "over-thinking and worrying."

I began to protest and then thought better of it. I didn't really have the energy, the 'tickle-war' had taken a lot out of me, and I wasn't used to doing so much. I'd been a slob for far too long.

"I think I need to do something," I said to Paul as we sat on the porch steps. "I need to get out, go somewhere."

He nodded and seemed to think for a moment before smiling.

"We could go to Port Angeles, or Seattle? Maybe even somewhere else, we could take a trip!" He seemed to be getting more excited by the minute and his excitement made me smile. Like Claire, Paul was infectious to.

"Maybe start small, Port Angeles maybe and who said anything about inviting you?" I said with a smirk, _am I taking part in bantering? _For me that would be as close as I came, even if you could call it that!

Paul arched his right brow, "Well who else will drive you and pay for dinner?"

I shrugged, pretending to think of anyone else when all I could think of was him, and the thought of dinner with him. It would almost be like a... _no, it's won't be that! Will it?_

"Like a non-date-date?" I asked, almost afraid. I mean, it wouldn't be a date. A non-date-date isn't a date, it's a non-date _what the hell is wrong with me._

In the space of a few seconds I had changed into a nervous, normal teenager, worrying about normal girl stuff. I was reduced to a mumbling mess –well, at least in my mind! It was all very strange, normal!

Paul chuckled, "Yes, like a non-date-date."

We both smiled at each other and suddenly I wasn't nervous. I was excited, though several butterflies lingered in my stomach, I was happy.

Happy! _Huh_

"I'll pick you up tomorrow, around eight-ish then?" He asked almost sounding worried, worried that I'd say no or change my mind.

I wouldn't.

"That's sounds good."

He walked away with a hug and a kiss on the cheek goodbye. I walked into the house, I was sure the smile on my face looked stupidly big but I couldn't help it, I was happy and I'd be damned if I wasn't going to show it! _Could it be for real? Could I actually be happy again? _

I knew I couldn't be happy with Paul, or I had to tell myself that because the truth was I was a little scared, I was scared because if it was Paul making me happy again, what would I do when he was gone? But I didn't let myself think about that for to long because I had Paul, for the time being and if he was what was making me happy I would make the most of it. Starting with our non-date-date.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>What do you think? Paul and Bella are going on a non-date-date that could very well turn into a date-date! I'm very excited! So what do you gals' think? Love it still?


	13. Let You Go

**AN: **COMPETITION ALERT** **I really want a video (trailer) for this story but I am no good at them at all! So this is where you guys come in, I'm holding a competition and whoever's video I like the best will get to be an imprint to one of the un-imprinted wolves (you'll get to use your name, or any name you like and will also get to chose what the imprint is like, looks, personality etc. it's up to the winner), as well as getting exclusive looks at chapters before there posted.

Please send me a PM if you're interested and send me link to the video via PM once composed.

Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter...

**A Drop in the Ocean **

**Chapter Thirteen- Let You Go**

Leah POV

I frowned as Bella walked past me, a large smile stretching her lips. She smiled at me before heading to her room- the smile still present. I was glad she was smiling it was the reason behind the smile that had me worried and I was sure that Paul, and there non-date-date was most defiantly the reason.

Yes, I was listening to their conversation and no, I wasn't ashamed about it!

I sat with my mug of coffee in my hands, staring out the window. Paul was a problem but ironically he was the solution as well; the problem was that he was getting involved with Bella, and somehow shape or form he would screw it up. _But that would hurt Bella._

I sighed and made my decision. I couldnt be the only one to noticed the differences in their relationship; I would go to Sam. He would have noticed surely.

I made it to Sam's in record time. I hated being there, it was a reminder of the life that could have, should have, been mine but instead my cousin was living it, loving him- though I was still technically still doing the latter, it wasn't being returned though.

Emily wasn't in but I could hear Sam, he was flicking through channels. I walked in, not bothering to knock, none of us ever do. He heard me, obviously, and he looked at me his eyebrows tilted in shock. I didn't go near his house unless necessary.

"Leah," he said his shock evident in his tone as well as his expression.

"We need to talk." I paused "about Paul and Bella."

He didn't look shocked instead he just nodded his head and motioned for me to sit down. I took a seat, perched on the edge of the sofa, almost as if I was ready to run at the first sign of trouble- or in my case, emotions.

"I'm worried to, Paul I harbouring more than platonic feeling for Bella," Sam said with a sigh.

I snorted, "You got that right, there going on a non-date-date tomorrow!"

Sam furrowed his brows, "what the hell is a non-date-date?"

I shrugged, "beats me but Bella seems happy about it, more than happy actually." I sighed, Bella looked ecstatic and I was trying to take that away from her. _No, I'm helping her. In the end Paul will break her heart just like Jacob, I won't, no, I can't let that happen!_

"This can't happen," Sam said, running his hands through his hair. He did that when he was frustrated, that and he would bury his head in his hands. I used to be able to relax him, a gentle massage; he used to love my massages. _Stop it Leah!_

"I know, but how do we stop it from happening without keeping them apart. That'll kill Bella, not being able to see him, sometimes I think he's the only one she's trying for, you know!" I said followed by my own sigh.

We were in an impossible situation, caught between a rock and a hard place. How could we protect Bella when it meant hurting her, we couldnt hurt her, we couldn't take away another person she cared about.

We sat in silence for a while. Both thinking and wondering what we could do, if anything.

"Let them go," Sam said finally, which shocked me.

"What?"

He looked up at me, his head lifting out of the cradle his hands had made. "We'll keep an eye on them but for now I think we should let them go, Bella needs to get away and Paul won't try or do anything, he knows if he does then I'll have to order him to stay away from Bella. He won't risk that."

"We're going to let her fall into the same trap again, Sam, we can't do that?" I protested as much as I hated to, I couldn't let Bella go; I couldn't let her give her heart away only to get it torn to pieces. I couldn't watch my sister go through that again, I couldn't watch it again.

"What do you suggest Leah? We chaperone them, go wherever they go? Ban them from seeing each other?" He looked at me his brow arched.

"Yes!" I exclaimed making him frown.

"You want to ban them from seeing each other, I don't think that'll-"

I cut him off. "No, we chaperone them, well not really but go along or 'bump into them'!" I said suddenly happy that there was a solution that didn't mean ripping them apart.

Sam looked at me with surprise. I fought the urge to slap him, it was like he'd never heard me have a good idea before!

"That could work, I mean we would have to find out where they were going but apart from that it should be easy." Sam said letting himself relax and slouch back against the sofa.

I nodded, "I can find out from Bella where they are going, that'll be no problem."

"Then I think we have a plan."

We both looked at each other, I was slightly proud of myself. The silence turned to awkwardness in no time and just as I was about to leave Sam spoke.

"You went to see Jacob earlier." He stated as he knew the answer.

I nodded. "I was angry at him, for going to see Bella."

He grunted, "Yes he was, I've got him doing double patrols. He was stupid for going to see her."

I shook my head catching Sam's attention. "No he wasn't."

"What do you mea-"

I cut him off, "he wanted to say goodbye. He needed to say goodbye, the both did. They needed to it, they both deserved it. A final kiss: a _proper _goodbye."

I didn't miss the emphasis I put on the word 'proper' and neither did Sam. I hung my head, remembering that I never got such a thing.

"You know I went there and I was so angry at him, I wanted to beat the shit out of him." I whispered.

"You did break his nose." Sam stated with a small smile.

I snorted. "Yeah, I did." I sighed.

"He said something," Sam said, he was always so good at reading me. It was freaky, though when we were together I kinda' liked it; he always knew when I needed cheering up or space. We worked well together because we always knew what the other needed.

I felt deflated, tired and just plain weak. "He said that imprinting doesn't sever every emotion or tie you ever had for anyone else; it just weakens them. He said that the feelings for other people are still there."

I looked up to see him watching me, guilt and remorse shining in his eyes. I knew what he would see in mine, sadness. That was all I really ever felt, that and anger. I had become a bitch, an angry woman who hated life, and love and I hated that I had become that.

"Leah," he whispered, stepping closer.

I stepped back; I could feel his welcoming heat calling to me. He had always called to me and he most probably would always hold the strings tugging at my heart. But I stepped back as he advanced but I couldn't refrain myself from asking, I had to ask, I needed to.

"Is it true?" I whispered.

He knew what I was asking.

"I'll always love you lee-lee," he confessed. He opened his mouth to say something else but I stopped him, I knew what he would say next would destroy his previous statement and I couldn't take that. I pressed my finger to his lips and smiled sadly, "Don't, that's all I wanted to hear Sam."

My hand dropped as I turned to walk away but his large hot hand grabbed and wrapped around my wrist and as I turned he tugged me to his chest and then before I knew it hi lips were on mine.

It was how I remembered it, tender yet passionate. The kiss was filled with unspoken words, and an unspoken goodbye. The kiss lasted for only a heartbeat but it would remain in my heart for forever.

We looked at one another, just looked and for a moment, in his eyes, I saw everything he had once felt for me. I wanted to cry, laugh and jump for joy but I did none of those things, instead I walked away.

I would be lying if I said I'd let him go, I'd be lying if I said I didn't still love him but I realised that I could love him and still move on. I had to, I couldnt love a ghost for the rest of my life and the Sam I loved was gone, the Sam I loved was just a ghost of a memory that in time, one day, I would have to let go.

One day.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>So I was going to have half Leah POV and half Bella POV but decided that I wanted to dedicate this chapter to just Leah. I hope you liked it, I know my story is mainly about Bella and Paul but I can't ignore my other character completely, and I feel that Leah and Sam are a big part of the story both being so close to Bella, but also they have their own story! Anyway, enough with me, next chapter is the 'non-date-date' I'm very excited to write it! Who do you think should 'crash' the 'non-date-date' though? Let me know.


	14. A Little Bit Stronger

**AN: **So thank you all again my loyal readers, you've left so many kind reviews they all put a smile on my face. I'm still looking for someone to make a **video/trailer** for this story so if you'd like to or know someone who would please let me know. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter...

**A Drop in the Ocean **

**Chapter Fourteen- A Little Bit Stronger**

Bella POV

_The night was cool and crisp. There was enough of a chill for him to offer me his jacket and for me to mould myself to his side. He was a hundred and eight degrees after all._

"_Thank you Jake," I said as we stood on the cliff on First beach. _

_He had wrapped his arm around my shoulder and as we stood on the cliff watching the moon as it glistened off the sea. _

"_What for?" he whispered into my ear as he rested his chin on my shoulder. His arms had moved to wrap around my waist as he pulled me back to so I rested against his chest. _

"_Helping me, loving me, making me realise I'll be ok." I replied._

_We stood in silence, he knew I had more to say and was giving me time to say it. _

"_When they left, I didn't know how I would get through it." He placed a kiss against my neck as I spoke, it made my heart flutter, but I knew he was doing it to reassure me. "But you helped me Jake, you got me through and then, well, I realised that I couldn't have done it without you and wouldn't have wanted to."_

_I turned in his arms, so my chest was pressed against his. He was so close, our bodies were pressed against each other's and I felt alive, excited, and passionate- I wanted him. _

"_I love you Jacob Black, I think I always have."_

_That night we lost ourselves in each other for the first time. We were both scared, it was new to us both but together it just seemed perfect. He was gentle and loving and that was exactly what I needed. _

_He told me he loved me repeatedly, over and over and I didn't think I ever wanted him to stop saying it. _

_He loved me and I couldn't have been happier..._

"Bella, you ok?" Leah jolted me from my memory.

I nodded, "yeah, sorry I spaced out." She could probably see the shimmer of unshed tears in my eyes and she gave me a concerned look but thankfully said nothing.

"I found this list on the table, groceries. You want me to go get them?"

I shook my head and stood up, smoothing out my clothes before taking the list Sue had wrote earlier for me. "No, I'll get them. I need to get out for a bit."

"Is going out later not enough!" she murmured but still loud enough for me to hear, it was a dig at mine and Paul's plans later. She wasn't happy about it and didn't try and hide it.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my bag, "I'll be back in half-an-hour tops" I said, ignoring her dig completely and walking out the door.

The shop in La Push was small but held about everything someone would need. I greeted Joy, Quil's mother as I walked in and grabbed a trolley. The isles were small and often you would nearly collide with someone if you weren't careful, I'd nearly done it several times and I knew for a fact Paul had done it several times, along with most of the other guys when it was there turn to shop.

I glanced at Sue's list ever couple of minutes checking I had everything, and that's when it happened. I was checking the list and realised I'd passed the pasta sauces so I sharply turned my trolley and was about to dash to the tinned and canned goods isle when I crashed right into someone.

"Oh god I'm so sorry," I said looking up from the list; ready to apologise profusely when I realised whom I had crashed into.

"It's ok, no harm done." She said.

Mia.

I stared at her, her long blonde hair and her perfect man-stealing blue eyes. I saw her expression change to one of realisation, she knew who I was.

"Bella," she whispered my name.

I breathed in sharply. The girl who had stolen the man I loved, the man I _love, _was standing in front of me. I looked around quickly looking for Jake but apparently she had come alone, or Jake was somewhere I couldn't see.

I had to make a decision fast, walk away and not say a word or be at least civil to her. I knew the Pack had nothing to do with her, accept Quil and that was because he couldnt abandon his bestfriend. Some part of me felt bad for her, she wasn't accepted because they all wanted to support me, look out for me but the other part was glad, she may have stolen Jake but she would never take my family.

_She had no control over anything _

I closed my eyes, breathed in deeply and made my decision.

"Mia," she got no 'hello' off me, I couldn't muster anything that civil but I did nod and recognise her. I felt that was enough.

"How are you?" she asked, her voice soft and polite. She was trying to make small talk, I hated small talk and I despised it coming from her.

I ignored her comment, "sorry I ran into you." I grabbed my trolley, my grip so tight on the bar that my knuckles turned white. I walked around her, ignoring her as best as I could but she wasn't making it easy.

"Bella, wait."

I stopped, my whole body was tense. I turned slowly to look at her and I hated what I saw, I saw remorse, sadness and guilt. I hated it because it made it a little harder to hate her.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for my part and I'm sorry that I took him away from you. I never meant to hurt anyone." Her words rung true, I neither saw nor heard any deception. "I hope one day you can forgive me, and maybe one day we can maybe be friends."

"Maybe one day I can look at you and it won't hurt so much, but-" I hung my head and tried to control my breathing which had quickened and become shallow as I fought back tears, I wouldn't show weakness. "I don't think we'll ever be friends Mia, I don't think I can ever like someone who stole the man I love."

I whispered the last part but she heard me and it was her turn to hang her head.

"For what it's worth, I truly am sorry." She said apologising again.

I nodded, "for what it's worth I believe you, but it doesn't change anything."

I walked away and got the last of the shopping before paying and leaving. Joy gave me a concerned look as I packed the shopping bags but she didn't say anything apart from to tell me to take care.

I walked home with a lull in my step, not that there was much of a bounce in it before though. But I was proud of myself, I hadn't broken down, I hadn't been weak, I had shown strength, a strength that Paul made me realise I had.

But it was _my_ strength and no one could take that away. _I'll be ok _I thought to myself, _I'm strong enough. _

_A Drop in the Ocean_

We pulled up to the movie theatre. We'd been deciding, on the way, which film we were going to watch before going for dinner. It was decided we would see _Red Riding Hood _as we both found humour in watching something about a werewolf that probably held no fact behind it what so ever.

Paul brought the tickets, while I brought the snacks much to his distaste. I argued that if he was paying for the movie tickets and dinner, it was the least I could do. That shut him up but barely.

We were waiting in line when Paul stiffened then lightly snarled, loud enough for only me to hear.

"Bella," I heard my name being called, I looked at Paul who was staring daggers at something over my head. I turned around and Kim bound into view pulling a nervous looking Jared along behind her.

"Hey Kim," I said with a smile.

"Jared," Paul snarled.

"Paul," I hissed quietly, he was being impolite and Kim looked a little put out by it but she shook it off quickly.

"What are you here to see?" Kim asked me pulling Jared to her side who was holding a pile of snacks and drinks much like Paul was. I think that might have been the only reason he didn't try and hit is pack brother. Paul was beyond mad.

"Red riding hood, you?"

She squealed, "Us to, let's sit together."

I glanced at Jared who still looked nervous and then at Paul who still looked murderous and it all clicked.

_Damit, I should never have told Leah where we were going_.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>So, what do you think? Next POV will probably both Bella and Paul, maybe Bella's POV for the movie then Paul's for the dinner; what do you think? Well I hope you liked this chapter, I'll be updating soon.


	15. The Date

**AN: **So this is chapter fifteen, the date you've all be waiting for, I hope it doesn't disappoint. I'm still looking for someone to make a **video/trailer** for this story, so please let me know if you would like to, or maybe someone who can. Anyways, hope you enjoy...

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Fifteen- The Date**

Paul POV

I stared daggers into the back of Jared's head as we all took our seats. He hadn't said a word to me, or even made eye contact _the fucker. _I knew that them being here was no coincidence it was the work of Sam, or Leah. Maybe even both and Jared knew I was pissed, beyond pissed.

The movie started and I was still seething but that all changed once Bella's hand slipped into mine. She glanced at me out the corner of her eye and gave me a stern look and it was only then that I realised I had actually been shaking in anger. I had never had much control over my temper but once Bella slid her hand into mine I stopped shaking almost immediately.

She mouthed 'are you ok?" to me and I smiled and nodded. The evening wasn't ruined, we still had dinner and there was no way Jared and Kim could accidentally bump into us there and there was no way in hell I was going to invite them along. No, dinner it would just be me and Bella and it was that thought that kept me from lunging over Bella and Kim to get to Jared and beat him to a pulp for actually agreeing, with whoever had set this little 'accidental meet' up.

Throughout the film Bella's head had been inching further and further to the side until it rested on my shoulder. I had been watching her rather than the movie, it was quite comical watching her trying to act casual, it was cute and endearing.

On the rare occasion I looked away from Bella I saw Jared and Kim, wrapped up in each other and sharing an occasional kiss with each one lasting longer than the next. I loathed them at that moment, hated that they could be happy, that they didn't have to have a chaperones to the cinema. They knew their life together was a certain thing, they never had to worry.

I looked down at Bella, the light from the large screen danced across her features as she concentrated on the movie, which held no interest for me. All my focus was on her and not thinking about what wouldn't be between us, instead I concentrated on the time I would have with her before Sam, or whoever else decided to intervene broke us apart.

I saw their point, Sam's point; I didn't want to hurt Bella. I didn't want her to have to go through losing someone again not after Jake but it didn't make it any easier to not imagine a life with her, it didn't make it easier to stop imagining what we could have- if imprinting didn't exist.

I began to shake again at the thought of imprinting, how could something that was supposed to make you happy fill me with such anger. I knew the reason of course because imprinting, in my mind, wasn't a good thing. It destroyed lives, broke hearts and took away a wolf's free-will to make his own choices.

I watch the imprinted couples sometimes and I saw the happiness in their eyes but it wasn't real; Sam had loved Leah with all his heart, everyone thought they were in it for the long haul but then _BAM _imprinting happened and he fell in love with her cousin and the girl he used to love was forgotten. Jared sat next to Kim for a year and never even noticed her and then when he phased _BAM _she became his whole world though he never wanted anything to do with her before. Then there was Quil who loved the ladies, he would chase any skirt available I often wondered if maybe he would over take me in the man-whore stakes but then _BAM _little Claire visited Emily and Quil's chasing skirts days went out the window.

Then, of course, there was Jacob who had loved Bella, there was no denying that. He pinned after her, crushed on her since he was in diapers and when she finally fell for him to they only had a year together and then _BAM _he crushed Bella's heart and imprinted on Mia, and his love for Bella was only a flicker of what he used to feel.

There was nothing good about imprinting; I was sure of that. In fact I hated it but I knew that one day, maybe, I could imprint and I dreaded that day. I wanted to make my own choices, love who I wanted but I could never do that because I would always live in fear of imprinting.

I realised then, in that moment how right Sam was.

_Bella can never know how I feel, I can't, I won't risk it._

"Hey, Paul, you ok?" Bella was staring at me; I looked around and blinked rapidly. The lights had come on again and everyone was leaving. I realised I had been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't even realised what was happening around me.

I looked over to see Kim and Jared sat lip locked next to us, probably oblivious that the movie had ended _much like myself. _

"Come on," I said with smile. "Let's go."

_A Drop in the Ocean_

Bella POV

Paul and I ran out of the movie theatre, laughing and giggling like school children. We both kept glancing behind us to make sure Kim and Jared hadn't followed.

I was going to kick Leah's ass when I saw her. Throughout the entire movie all I could hear was then making out. It did nothing to help my healing heart as it brought back my own memories of a date I wanted to forget.

"Where shall we eat?" Paul asked once he was sure they hadn't followed us.

I shrugged looking down the street to see several neon signs for restaurants. "Whichever isn't busy?"

Turns out they were all busy, packed to the max. We walked out the last restaurant subdued, well I was a little subdued while Paul was just mad.

"I should have booked, I didn't think. Such an idiot." He muttered to himself.

"Hey, it doesn't matter." I said wrapped my hand around his. "We can get a burger and find somewhere to sit, watch the stars." I said with a smile trying to lighten the mood.

Paul's eyes suddenly shined and like a light bulb went off in his head his smile grew wide. "Come on, let's get some food then I know the perfect place to go."

_A Drop in the Ocean_

With an assortment of cold sandwiches, crisp, drum sticks, salad and fizzy drinks we headed back to La Push but then Paul pulled over at the side of the road near the dense foliage of the trees and Paul jumped out the car. I followed suit, a little confused.

"It isn't far from here." Paul said as he pulled the bags of food out the boot of his car.

"Where are we going?" I asked looking sceptically at the dark forest before me. "You do remember my eyesight and co-ordination isn't as good as yours right. I'll fall over, a lot in there." I said pointing to the trees.

I heard him laugh. "You think I'd let you walk," he walked around the car so I could see him. He was carrying all four bulging bags in one hand and the other was free. "I'll be carrying you."

I gawped at him but before I could protest he swept me up with his free arm, I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist with a surprised squeal. "On seconds thoughts I could probably walk," I muttered into his neck feeling a little embarrassed, I was clinging onto him like baby.

He snorted, "No chance Bella, face it, you do need me for somethings."

I tried to hide my smile but I couldn't. It seemed I couldn't hide anything from Paul, even if I wanted to.

"So where are we going?" I asked two minutes into the walk. I had never been very patient.

Laughter rumbled in his chest, "You'll see."

I huffed but I didn't ask again and soon enough, with a bit of chit-chatting we were there. _Oh my God _it was breath taking, more beautiful than anything I had ever seen. It looked like it belonged on a post card.

The clearing was fairly small, but running along its side was a stream that looked to be maybe three feet deep. The moon glistened and bounced off the surface, the stones and the few boulders scattered along the streams edge sparkled, like someone had sprinkled glitter on them. Flowers were scattered across the clearing, wild flowers, all varying colours- there wasn't even two that were the same.

I gasped, "It's so beautiful."

"I found it one day patrolling, I've kept it quiet though. No one knows about it," he looked over at me and smiled. "Besides you."

"Thank you for sharing it with me." I whispered quietly, touched that he thought enough of me to share something so beautiful with me.

He shrugged trying to act casual when the blush on his cheeks said otherwise. _Is Paul Lahote blushing? _

"Well, let's eat shall we," Paul said, shifting the conversation to food.

We sat and ate, well I sat and ate while Paul sat and scoffed down everything in his reach. Luckily I had a separate bag containing a sandwich, a pack of crisps and a pot of salad. Paul ate the rest, quicker than I ate in fact.

We both lay stuffed, side by side but not touching. I looked up at the stars and wondered if I'd ever been somewhere as beautiful and peaceful before. I decided I hadn't.

A shiver ran through me, the chill in the air was biting at my exposed skin. I, not so subtly, shuffled a little closer to Paul; his heat was calling to me. He must have realised because his arm stretched out and went under my back and wrapped around my waist and pulled me against his side.

I sighed in relief, the warmth was divine.

I lay my head upon his chest and we just lay together, looking up at the blanket of stars above us.

"I've just realised," I said after a long stretch of comfortable silence. "I never thanked you."

"For what?" he replied softly.

I thought about it and then replied honestly, "for everything. You've helped me more than anyone ever has. You've got me through; you showed me how to be strong, independent." I lifted my head and leaned on my elbow, my face was above his, looking down at him. "You saved me."

His eyes flickered to my lips, his own lips parted and his tongue snaked out to moisten his dry lips before his eyes shifted back to mine. "No, I did nothing really. I just helped you figure out your own strength. You saved yourself; you made all the decisions that have led you here. Your strong, you always have been."

I stared at him, his coal eyes held warmth that I'd never seen before. I let my eyes take him all in, his strong jaw and his perfectly straight nose; his perfectly lips and his light stubble that made him look like every bit of the man he was. The man, I realised, I wanted.

I wanted him to kiss me- I knew he could smell the desire that was pouring off me. _You can't, Bella. This man isn't the one for you. _

But God I wanted him.

I was a fool to ever think I never would.

His eyes once again flickered to my lips and this time he didn't look away, instead he lifted his head. I held my breath as his lip brushed against mine, so softly I barely felt it.

"We can't," he whispered, he was so close his breath washed over my skin, and brought flames to my cheeks.

"I know," I whispered back.

But that didn't stop us...

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>So what do you all think? I want to thank everyone who is reading, following and reviewing this story. Your comments are just lovely and they put a smile on my face. So thank you so much.


	16. When Alice Fell

**AN: **Sorry it's taken me so long to update, but thank you all for being so loyal and thank you for all your lovely comments. So, here is chapter sixteen, I hope you enjoy it.

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Sixteen- When Alice fell**

"_We can't," he whispered, he was so close his breath washed over my skin, and brought flames to my cheeks._

"_I know," I whispered back._

_But that didn't stop us..._

Our lips crashed together; there was a sense of urgency underlining each brush our lips made. I was ever aware of the wrongness of what we were doing, the implications it would have but then his lip met mine again and then there was no sense of urgency jut passion, lust and a feeling I wouldn't admit to myself.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered against my lips, his eyes looked upon me with hunger and it was the hunger I saw in his eyes not the cool weather that made me shiver.

We were a mess of limbs in no time, tangled together. No clothes were shed, it was a kiss pure and simple yet it felt like so much more. The way he held me and the way he whispered sweet nothings into my ear. The way his lips ghosted over the skin of my shoulders and sucked lightly on sensitive skin on my neck; every little detail, every kiss, every minor, almost innocent touch screamed love.

Love; the one emotion I had dared not to think. Love wasn't an option.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

I got home to late for anyone to be up. I could hear everyone's even breathing as I walked past the rooms until I reached mine. I undressed slowly, savouring the memory of mine and Paul's kiss as we were bathed in moonlight. I was being naive and the stupid thing was I knew it. I just couldn't bring myself to care, or at the very least, I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. I wanted him, pure and simple and I knew in the long run I would probably get hurt but in that moment, I wanted him. _God I want him._

I knew it wasn't right, I knew I shouldn't want it, but somehow I had ended up in an impossible situation and the option I had dared not to think was all I could think about.

When Alice fell down the rabbit hole, she fell slowly. She had time to notice things on her way down- _Oh, there's a teacup! There's a table! _So things seemed almost normal to her while she was falling. Then she bumped down and rolled into wonderland, and all hell broke loose.

When I fell I fell so fast I didn't realise. I had no time to notice how or when I began to fall; I didn't see the rabbit hole! But once I bumped down and rolled into reality I realised I had fallen, fallen in love with Paul and I knew all hell would break loose.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

The sun was fully up before I even opened my eyes, for once, in a long time I had slept peacefully. I could hear life happening, going on around me but I stayed in bed, in my room just for a little while. Life could wait, just for a little bit longer.

Life could wait, but apparently Leah couldn't.

She barged into my room, a steaming cup of coffee in her hand. She gave it to me as I sat up looking at her through blurry, sleepy eyes.

"So what time did you get in last night?" she asked as I sipped on the coffee, burning my tongue in the process. She was perched on the end of my bed, looking at me with a mixture of concern and interest.

I snorted, she sounded like a mother, like Renee would have sounded if she actually acted like a mother should.

"About midnight, mom!" I said with a dramatic eye roll.

"How'd it go?" she asked trying to sound nonchalant when I could see she was anything but.

I stared at her; saw her anger at Paul and I ditching Jared and Kim, our escorts, the ones she sent.

"It would have been better if I didn't have an imprinted couple making-out beside me through the whole film. It was funny; Jared and Kim just bumped right into us. Like they knew we were going to be there." I raised a brow; Leah reacted only slightly; her eyes flashed remorse. Maybe she hadn't thought that sending an imprinted couple would actually do damage rather than good.

"Huh, that is odd."

We both decided to ignore the elephant in the room, the elephant being that she had sent them or at least suggested it. But I didn't want to fight, so instead I sipped my coffee.

We sat in silence; it was awkward to say the least, well it was for me. I wasn't telling her anything, and I'd only ever told her everything. But how could I tell her that I was in love with Paul and I wasn't even sure when it happened. How could I tell her when I knew she'd do everything in her power to stop me and Paul, because she would and if I were in her shoes, I would do the same.

"You're hiding something," she said after a while. My coffee was gone so I couldn't hide behind it any longer.

I decided to place innocent, "I'm allowed to keep something's to myself or would you rather I told you every single detail? I can if you like!"

She rolled her eyes, "don't try and be smart Bella, what aren't you telling me. Did something happen?"

She looked panicked and scared and I almost felt sorry, sorry for putting her through the same worry again.

It almost made me change my mind, think about what I was doing. Then I remembered Paul's lips on mine and the way he held me against him as we kissed under the blanket of stars. It was something out of a movie yet it wasn't a movie, it was my life and for that moment it was perfect and I wanted to hold onto that for as long as possible.

"Leah, please don't. I'm fine, happy even, let me have that. Please."

It worked, Leah left but not before reminding me she was always there if I needed to talk.

I decided I needed a day to myself, a day belonging to me. So I got dressed, hoped in my truck and took off. I left a note for Charlie, if he found my truck gone and me nowhere in sight it wouldn't take him long to jump to the conclusion that I had run away and he didn't need that worry.

Two hours later my tuck trudged into a small town, it looked a lot like La Push and I realised I was on the Makah Reservation. I smiled; it seemed like a home away from home. It felt safe.

I pulled up to a cafe; it was a small wooden building with a big bay glass window at the front. The sign read _Callie's Cafe _I decided it looked half decent and I was parched and more than a little ravenous. A bell rang and echoed through the cafe as I stepped through the door, all of only three heads turned in my direction.

"Hello dear, a table for one?"

I nodded.

She led me to a small table in the far corner of the room, I didn't mind. Living in Forks I had grown quite accustomed to dark, slightly damp places and though _Callie's Cafe _wasn't the nicest place, I liked it. It had a sense of familiarity about it though I was sure I had never been there before.

I glanced at the menu before the woman, who seemed to be in her late thirties early forties came back over. I ordered coffee and a bagel and then I just sat. I observed there was a youngish man sitting at one table; he had on a suit yet his tie had been removed, he didn't look to formal. He was ruggedly handsome, unruly hair and a nine-o-clock shadow. I guessed he was a teacher by the stack of papers he seemed to be grading.

The second person was an elderly woman, late seventies. As I looked at her I realised she was looking at me. I gasped as we made eye contact. Her eyes were a sharp blue, so bright that I could barely look away. They were beautiful, captivating and I was sure when she was younger she used them as a weapon of choice. No man could resist those. I peered at her again to see she was still staring at me; it was a little unsettling to say the least but then my coffee and bagel arrived and I looked away but not before the woman, the waitress, noticed.

"Don't worry about her, she's harmless. We just don't see a lot of new faces around here." The woman said kindly before walking away.

I decided to eat my bagel, drink my coffee then leave. I never liked being stared at, the attention made me turn all sorts of red. I'm sure I'd created a new shade of crimson!

But before I'd finished even half my bagel my table had turned from a table for one to two. The elderly lady sat across from me, her hands wrapped round a mug of something steaming.

"I'm Callie," she said, her voice was soft and calming.

I smiled, "I'm Bella."

"Short for Isabella I presume."

I nodded.

"Such a beautiful name," she said, almost like she was talking to herself. "Such sadness should not harbour in someone with such a name and such a pure heart."

I stared at her in confusion and surprise. To that she just smiled and chuckled.

"Don't be so surprised dear; I also see knowledge in your eyes. You are no stranger to things that aren't, shall we say, 'normal'." She reached for my hand and wrapped hers around mine. I didn't have the heart to pull away so I let her aged, wrinkled hand wrap around mine. "You are also no stranger to pain."

That hit a nerve but I tried to hide it. Callie was for lack of a better word, freaking me out.

"You loved him, didn't you?" She said out of the blue. I sucked in a breath. "I'm sorry you lost him."

I stared at her in disbelief. "How-what-I!"

Words wouldn't come to me, I was beyond speechless. _How did she know about Jacob? What did she mean about me not being a stranger to things not 'normal'?_

She smiled again, this time her smile was softer. "You'll find happiness again Isabella, he is waiting for you. He will love you though you will find it hard to love him. He'll remind you of the man you lost but in the end he will be the only man that will never leave you."

I stared at her, who was she talking about, Paul? _Why am I listening to her?_

"Mama," the waitress rushed over. "What are you doing? You shouldn't bother customers." She turned to me, "I'm sorry for my mother, she can get a little intense."

I looked between the two women; I was too shocked to even say anything. Callie left with a look in my direction that I couldn't understand but I didn't dwell on it. Instead I left; I rushed to my truck and drove as far and as quickly as I could away from the Makah tribe.

But one thing kept running through my mind.

_You'll find happiness again Isabella, he is waiting for you._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>So this could be interrupted as a bit of a weird chapter but this actually has A LOT of significance for where I am going to be taking this story line. I have been thinking very hard about which route I want this story to go down but one thing I'm not sure about is if I should make it into two stories, so end _A Drop in the Ocean _and then have a sequel continuing the story. What do you think one long story or a sequel?

Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Thank you for all of you reading and reviewing it means so much to me.


	17. Playing with Fate

**AN:** So the consensus is one long story which I'm happy with so this will be, hopefully, one fairly long story. There are a lot of things still yet to happen, I have it nearly all worked out in my head its now just getting it typed out and posted for all you lovely people to read.

Anyway big thank you to everyone reading and reviewing I hope you are all still enjoying this story. So chapter seventeen is here and its Paul, I hope you enjoy...

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Seventeen- Playing with Fate**

**Paul POV**

She was all I could think about for the whole day. I had gone to the Clearwater-Swan residence but I found the note on the table, in her handwriting. She had gone out for the day. It sent me into a panic; _did she need to get away from me _was the first thing that crossed my mind. But then I remembered the look in her eyes, the feel of her lips and the strokes of her hands that made me realise I was being stupid. She enjoyed last night as much as I had.

_I'll order you to stay away from her _I remembered what Sam had said the day he confronted me about my feelings for Bella. I had asked what would happen if she fell in love with me to. _Was she in love with me? _Last night proved she liked me, but love; I wasn't sure.

I wanted her to love me, of course I did but a part of me didn't want her to. I didn't want her to feel love again to maybe one day have it ripped away, again! _Stop Lahote _I thought to myself _you won't leave her._

But will I have that choice?

_A Drop in the Ocean_

My fall began, like many stories do, with a girl. The moment Bella stumbled into my life my world changed, maybe not immediately or maybe it did and I just didn't realise but my life did change. The little slip of a girl changed everything. I never thought I would love, no, I never thought I'd be in love; I didn't think I was capable of it. I liked women, enjoyed what pleasure they brought me but they never really meant anything, but Bella, she changed that.

Sometimes I wondered why I didn't imprint on her, because she fell so perfectly into my life; into my heart. If I wanted an imprinted, I would want her. But there was never that pull, gravity still held me to the earth and I wasn't blinded by her but I was drawn to her, gravity nudged me in her direction and I could see her always but I saw others to. It wasn't an imprint bond I felt between us; it was a lot simpler than that.

It was love, pure and simple.

But love between us could never be simple; there would always be a barrier, an elephant shadowing us. Imprinting would always be at the back of our minds.

I smelt him before I saw him. He knocked on the door. I debated whether to answer it or not, in the end I answered... with my fist.

"Jesus Christ, what the fuck was that for?" Jared said clutching his nose as blood trickled between his fingers.

I snorted with irritation, "that's for that little stunt you pulled last night. Dick move Jared."

He sighed, "I was ordered Paul, I can't go against an Alpha order."

It didn't matter to me, true, he couldnt have gone against but he could have warned me or at least done something. There were always loop holes in Alpha orders.

"Whatever Jared, why are you here? Another Alpha order?" I was being harsh, Jared had been my bestfriend for years but he had irritated me and I didn't deal with that well, or any emotion for that matter.

"I came to talk, no Alpha order. Just talk." He paused and we stared at one another. "You don't think it can work do you?"

I knew what he was talking about instantly. I sighed and through the door open and walked into my house. Jared trailed in behind me.

"Not you to, I've had this with Sam. I know what you're going to say and I know what you want me to do but to be honest, I'm tired of listening to all the reasons why me and Bella can't work."

"You might not want to hear them but you have to. Paul, you and Bella can never happen." His tone was firm and a little harsh. He was irritated with me, that much was clear. "Or have you forgotten what happened to her and Jacob, or Sam and Leah for that matter. Why are you taking such a big risk?"

I sighed in frustration. I ran my hand through my hair roughly, anger was boiling within me. I was taking the risk because I loved her, I was being selfish and I knew it, wanting Bella was selfish knowing that if I imprinted, it would be her that would be alone not me. But I wanted Bella, no one else. Being with Bella was a risk and it was one I really wanted to take.

"Paul, are you listening to me?" Jared's voice rose. "Are you understanding what this could do to Bella if things go wrong. You could imprint Paul, at any time. Why are you risking it, why are you playing with fate? Bella isn't the one for you."

I spun around sharply. "What if she is Jared, what if I never imprint and I let her slip away. I'd hate myself forever for losing her."

Jared looked at me sadly, "What if you imprint and leave Bella heartbroken. You'd hate yourself more for doing that. Look at Jacob, hell I'm still pissed at him but I can see he's hurting."

"I'm not Jacob, Jared!"

"Yes you are: if you decide to start something with Bella, you are exactly like Jacob. Maybe even worse."

I winced. I hated Jacob, hated what he did to Bella but Jared was right. I would be doing exactly what Jacob did to her, starting a relationship not knowing if, or when, I would find my soul-mate.

"Think about Paul; really think before you start something. You don't want to fall in love with her to then leave her." Jared said to which I laughed without a hint of humour.

"I already love her and the worse thing is I know she can never love me," I fell to the couch and buried my face in my hands. It was all too much. My emotions were running high and I was all too aware of what Jared was saying and what it meant and yet my heart was still telling me to keep her, never let her go.

"What makes you so sure I could never love you?"

My head flew up and my eyes widened at the sound of her beautiful, soft voice. She stood there in my open doorway, looking between me and Jared but mainly at me. I was too stunned to process her words at first but when I did I frowned. _Did I hear correctly? _

"I-you-what!"

She smiled ever so slightly. Jared was forgotten as she stepped further into the room, nearer to me.

"I said what makes you so sure I could never love you?" he stood right before me. Her big brown eyes looking down at me with an emotion I couldn't decipher because I had never seen it or, in fact, it had never been directed at me before.

I stood, our bodies brushed together and I fought back a shiver whereas she failed to. Goosebumps appeared on her bare arms and her breathing quickened only slightly. My presence, so close to her, affected her and I couldn't help but be pleased.

"I could hurt you," I whispered, hating that my words could potentially discourage her, make her runaway when all I wanted was to wrap her up in my arms and never let her go.

She nodded slightly, "you could." She agreed leaving me a little confused until she spoke again. "But so could any other man I might date. Most relationships end."

"We'll always be afraid, always wondering if tomorrow we'd still be together." I said again but with less conviction. She was so close and all I wanted to do was whisk her away, lavish her with kisses and show her just how much I cared for her.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned forwards, stepping up onto the tips of her toes. "We'll just have to take it one day at a time." She leaned even closer, her lips brushed against mine and I shivered with desire. "I'm happy when I'm with you; I won't to enjoy the happiness while it lasts."

She closed the distance. The kiss was filled with unspoken words, and a fire that spread from deep within me. It was less intense than the kiss we had shared the previous night but no less incredible or important.

She pulled away, a smile stretching her lips that no doubt I was wearing to but the happiness was short lived and my smile fell almost immediately.

"What have you done?"

Sam stood in the door way, Jared standing slightly behind him. Sam looked furious.

_Shit_

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> Dum dum dum, what do you think? I know I've left it on a bit of a cliff hanger but please don't hate me, I felt this was an appropriate place to stop. Anyway hope you enjoyed it, please let me know what you think.


	18. We'll Beat The Odds

**AN: **Chapter eighteen is here. I didn't want to keep you waiting too long because of the cliff hanger at the end of the last chapter. Thank you all again for all your lovely comments, they all put a smile on my face. Well, hope you enjoy this chapter.

Oh and I have made banners for a couple of my stories, this one included if anyone wants to take a look -they aren't brilliant as I'm not very good!- but they are there if you want a look.

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Eighteen- We'll Beat The Odds**

**Bella POV**

_He'll remind you of the man you lost _Callie had said. I had lost Jacob, and Paul did remind me of him in small ways.

_He will love you _did she mean Paul would love me?

Did Paul love me?

_He will be the only man that will never leave you _would Paul never leave me?

I pulled up the car in-front of the house. I had been mulling over everything the mad old lady had said; Callie, who seemed to know everything about me and my life, who I had lost and who in the end would love me.

I wasn't sure why I was even trying to make sense of it all, she seemed so crazy. But she knew so much. _You're trying to make sense of it so you can find a reason to let Paul completely in _my inner, more responsible self said. _You're trying to find a reason to risk everything, again!_

If I was sensible I would have listened to my inner, more responsible self but I didn't want to be responsible, I didn't want to have 'what if'' hanging over my head if I walked away from Paul without even trying, or seeing if he wanted to try.

So, I pushed the sensible side of me away and went to Paul's.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

I could hear raised voices as I neared Paul's and as I stepped into the house it was clear that Jared and Paul were having some kind of heated discussion, so heated that neither of them realised I was there.

"Think about Paul; really think before you start something. You don't want to fall in love with her to then leave her." Jared said to which I heard Paul laugh, it was sharp and unpleasant.

"I already love her and the worse thing is I know she can never love me," Paul shot back.

_He loves me _I gasped softly. _Did I hear right? _He loves me. I felt like flying, I had been so worried about nothing, the whole time he wanted me like I wanted him. He felt how I felt about him.

_She can never love me _that is what he said. How could he think that?

I didn't want to stay in the shadows, his confession, whether he had meant for me to hear it or not had sparked something inside of me. I felt confident, for once in a very long time.

"What makes you so sure I could never love you? I said softly, making myself known.

His head flew up and his eyes widened at the sound of my voice. I looked between Jared and Paul but mainly at Paul. I couldn't seem to be able to keep my eyes off him. More than usual!

"I-you-what!"

I smiled, he looked confused flustered and more than a little shocked.

"I said what makes you so sure I could never love you?" I moved so I stood right before him. I could feel the heat off his body circling me. Drawing me closer.

He stood and as he did our bodies brushed together I shivered with emotion, my body was so very aware of him. Goosebumps appeared on my arms and I could tell my breathing had quickened. His presence, so close to me, affected me in so many ways.

"I could hurt you," he whispered, he sounded sad and almost torn. Like he didn't really want to say what he had.

"You could." I agreed and I had thought about it. "But so could any other man I might date. Most relationships end." I said truthfully.

"We'll always be afraid, always wondering if tomorrow we'd still be together." He said but with little conviction.

I wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned forwards, stepping up onto the tips of my toes to get closer to him. "We'll just have to take it one day at a time." I leaned even closer, my lips brushed against his and I felt his shiver. I affected him as much as he affected me. "I'm happy when I'm with you; I won't to enjoy the happiness while it lasts."

I closed the gap between us and we kissed. In that moment I knew that what I was doing was stupid but I was following my heart and thought it had led me astray many times I chose to follow it again and Callie's words, they helped me decided that maybe, with Paul, it could really work.

I pulled away. My lips tingled and I smiled, it felt right. Paul and I, me and Paul; we could beat the odds. We could be happy.

"What have you done?"

I spun around in shock. Sam stood, arms folded and a furious expression twisting his features. He looked truly terrifying. His anger however was directed at Paul, he hadn't even looked at me.

"Sam," Paul tried to talk but Sam cut him off with an impressive yet furious growl.

"I told you what would happen Paul; I told you I would order you to stay away from her. Why couldn't you have just listened?" Sam stepped further into the room, shaking violently. Paul moved in front of me, obviously protecting me though Sam would never hurt me. I knew that, none of the boys would.

_What! What had he said, 'I told you I would order you to stay away from her'. _Oh, hell no.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" I stepped around Paul, squashing myself between the two large shaking men. It probably wasn't one of my best decisions but I was mad, really mad.

"Bella step back," Paul warned.

"Hell no, what the hell do you mean Sam. You're going to order Paul to stay away from me?" I shoved a finger at Sam's chest making him take notice of me.

"Bella," Sam growled lowly. "I'm doing what is best for you. Step away."

I was furious. What right did Sam Uley have to make decisions for me? None.

"No," I said firmly. "This is my life Sam. I get to make my own decisions; who I date and who I fall in love with is my choice, mine and no one else's."

He shook his head, "You're not in the right frame of mind to make this choice. He'll hurt you, just like Jake. I won't let you go through that again, I won't watch it again."

I sighed. I knew, in his own way, Sam was trying to help me but I didn't want help, I didn't need it. I just wanted Paul.

"Ordering him to stay away from me will hurt me as well." I said slowly. "I know you want to help Sam but making him stay away from me won't help."

"In the long run it will," Sam said glaring at Paul who was standing behind me, his hand on the small of my back.

I shook my head. "No, it won't. I'm happy with him Sam, I'm happy."

He looked down at me, tearing his eyes away from Paul.

"He'll hurt you," Sam whispered.

"Maybe, but like I said to Paul earlier, any man could hurt me. Relationships end, people break up and people have broken hearts Sam, you can't protect me from every relationship that could end. It isn't possible." I placed my hand into his. His shaking had almost stopped and he wasn't glaring at Paul anymore, instead I had his undivided attention.

"What if he imprints?"

I admit, I winced a little but then I straightened my shoulders. "Then I'll let him go." It would be hard but if he did find a soul-mate, I wouldn't keep him from her.

Sam shook his head and closed his eyes.

"I don't like this," he confessed.

"You don't have to, you don't even have to accept it; all I'm asking is that you don't stop it." I whispered with baited breath.

"You're making a mistake," he said.

"Then it's my mistake, not yours and I'll deal with the consequences."

Sam looked between Paul and I, he looked half sad and half furious. He was at war with his self, he didn't want to hurt me but either way he thought he would be.

In the end he just left. He had said nothing else, just walked away. Jared, who I had forgotten was there looked at Paul and I.

"I hope you two know what you're doing." He said then he too was gone and then it was just Paul and I.

Paul wrapped his arms around me, "That was only the beginning you know; when the Pack finds out all hell will break lose."

I nodded against his chest. "I'm more worried about Charlie, oh God, and Leah."

Paul chuckled, "I'll protect you, don't worry."

I smiled.

"We're making the right choice, aren't we?" I whispered quietly, almost like I didn't want him to hear.

"I know what I want Bella, do you know, because if you're not sure about us then I'll walk away. I don't want you to have any doubts." He said pushing me slightly back so he could look into my eyes.

"I have doubts but I know what I want," I whispered. "We'll beat the odds," I whispered and silently added _we have to._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>So, what do you think? Let me know :) So my lovely readers I'm going on holiday on Sunday for a week and I won't be able to update :( but I will post another chapter before I go, probably Saturday and I promise once I get back from my holiday I'll post nearly straight away.


	19. Holding on and Letting Go

**AN: **Sorry its been so long but my life is rather busy at the moment. I'm moving house so everything is a little hectic but never fear, through all the boxes, bubble wrap and tape I managed to find my laptop! Enjoy chapter nineteen and let me know what you think.

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Nineteen- Holding on and Letting Go**

**Bella POV**

The next two days were torture. Obviously people found out about Paul and I, Leah and Charlie had the worse reactions. Charlie even threatened to ban me from seeing Paul, I argued I was nineteen, nearly twenty and that he couldn't really ban or ground me. He grumbled a lot and talked about a shot gun for a while but he settled down after Sue came to my aid.

Leah wasn't so easy to calm down. She had nearly phased she was that angry and once she did phase she attacked a suspecting yet not retaliating Paul. He got pretty messed up, a broken nose; three broken ribs and a lot of claw marks that disappeared in an hour, but the broken nose and ribs took longer to heal. So it was my turn to get mad at Leah, and every other single member of the Pack that had made a fuss about Paul and me.

They soon stopped talking about it and warning me against it but I knew that they were still thinking it and talking about it behind my back. The one good thing was that Jacob still hadn't found out. He would, eventually but the more time I had to mentally prepare myself the better.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

It seemed to happen quite a lot to me; bumping into people at the local store. Quil came hurtling round the corner just as I turned and we proceeded to crash into one another, the crash affecting me more so than him.

"Oh God, Bella I'm so sorry." Quil said panicked.

"Its fine Quil, I'm fine. Though that isn't," I said pointing to the cake box that was on the floor, the cake inside splattered across the floor.

"Shit!" he swore.

"Whose birthday?"

Quil was on his hands on knees, trying to salvage it.

"It's for Mia, it's her eighteenth today." He mumbled it but I still heard it.

"Oh, what are the pack doing to celebrate?" I felt a little put out, no one had mentioned a celebration, usually there would be a bonfire or something. Not even Paul had mentioned anything.

Quil looked up at me, shocked. "Nothing, there doing nothing. It's just me, Jake, Billy and Mia."

I stared at him in shock and confusion. The Pack always did things for the imprints; birthdays were a day where the Pack would come together, elders and imprints would celebrate. _Why isn't Mia having a celebration? _But even as I thought it I knew the answer, it was because of me!

_A Drop in the Ocean_

The Pack was gathered around Sam and Emily's dining table. I had called a meeting and everyone had arrived, minus Jacob who hadn't been invited. Quil stood beside me, twitching nervously.

"What's this about?" Sam asked me, frowning. I had never called a Pack meeting, in fact I wasn't sure if I could even call one as I wasn't really Pack but I wasn't going to let that stop me.

"It's about Mia," scowls appeared on several faces and that just supported what I had suspected. "That's what I'm talking," I said pointing at their faces. "She doesn't deserve that; your dislike of her."

"Bella-" Embry tried to speak but I shook my head.

"Did any of you know it's her birthday today?" the blank looks on their faces told me they didn't. "You usual through a bonfire or at least a party; the whole Pack together, imprints, elders the whole lot. Why not for her?"

Everyone stayed silent. Looks of guilt and sorrow written on most faces, accept Leah.

"Because she's the reason you were a wreck for a month. Why would we want to celebrate anything with her." Leah said sharply.

"She's not the reason, Leah. She's an imprint," I paused, and breathed in deeply. "She's Jacobs imprint, the future Alpha but that doesn't matter, she deserves to be accepted. She deserves to see how great and wonderful you guys are, she deserve the kindness you have all shown me."

"We didn't want to hurt you," Jared said, keeping his eyes on the table in front of him nervously.

"Accepting her won't hurt me. Imprinting was the problem, it was imprinting that took Jacob away from me, not Mia and she's said she's sorry, and I believe her. She's nice," I said for lack of a better word.

I heard Paul snort softly at my choice of words, I scowled at him. He and Leah were the only two that seemed to be unaffected by what I had said.

"So, here's what we are going to do. Emily and I are going to make a cake," the cake Quil had brought, and dropped was unsalvageable. "The rest of you are going to start preparing for a bonfire. Embry, Quil and Paul, you'll go get some food. Sam, Jared and Seth you'll go and inform the elders and the rest of you can go start sorting things out at the beach." I listed off a few more things but soon everyone was busy.

Quil smiled at me as he left and I nodded. It felt good if not a little weird, planning a surprise birthday party for a girl who stole the man I loved but it was a good weird, it made me realise that I was moving on and letting go. It would be naive to think I didn't have any feeling for Jake but they were controllable, they weren't controlling me anymore and that was a step in the right direction.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

"SURPRIE" we chorused at a bewildered Mia and a shocked Jacob. Honestly, it was weird but Paul placed his hand on the small of my back and smiled down at me in encouragement. He didn't want to be there but I wanted him to be there and so he was and I was glad, I couldn't have smiled the way I did if he hadn't been by my side.

The night started off tense but soon every loosened up and the Pack actually started talking to Mia. I sat on the sidelines, near the edge of the fire and just watched. Paul would find me every so often but apart from that he didn't smother me, or crowd me. He knew me to well.

"Hey," I looked up to see Mia, she looked beautiful and happy.

"Hi," I replied with a small smile.

"Do you mind if I sit?" she said pointing to the piece of old wood I was sitting on.

"Go ahead."

The silence was awkward. I wanted to get up and leave but I didn't want to be rude.

"Thank you," she said suddenly, ending the silence.

I looked at her and she must have seen the confusion because she elaborated.

"For this, the party, for getting everyone to agree."

"Quil," I said frustrated yet not shocked.

"Yeah, he isn't great at keeping secrets," she laughed softly and I smiled, she was right. Quil was a terrible secret keeper, I knew from past experience.

"Anyway, thank you."

I looked at her, really looked and saw everything I had once felt. Alone, afraid and totally confused; she had been an outcast of the Pack for so long and it was because of me. That wasn't right.

"I'm sorry," I said. "The Pack didn't let you in because they were afraid of hurting me, not because they don't want to get to know you."

"I know, they love you and I hurt you. I understand."

It was her saying that which made me realise how perfect she was for Jacob. She was kind and pure hearted, she didn't deserve the Pack's dislike, or mine.

"You shouldn't have to understand, you're Pack now and I promise that from now on you'll be treated like it." I looked over to see Jacob; he was standing with Quil and Embry. They were laughing and for a moment it was like nothing had ever happened, like nothing had changed. "You and Jacob, the Pack won't shut you out because of me anymore. It's not fair."

"I can see why he loves you so much," she said softly, so softly I barely heard her.

I furrowed my brows, "he might have loved me, but he loves you now."

It hurt a little, saying it but it didn't cripple me.

Mia got up; she smiled sadly and sipped her drink before she spoke again. "He will always love you Bella, it will always be you."

She walked away, leaving me confused and more than a little bewildered.

Paul found me soon after, his eyes burning with curiosity. I laughed softly. He hated being left out of anything. He always needed to know what was going on.

"She just wanted to say thank you," I said as he wrapped his arms around me and lowered his lips to mine.

"Uh-huh" he mumbled before catching my lips with his. I could feel him smile as or kiss deepened and he pulled me even closer towards him.

I forgot where we were, who we were with... and that was a big mistake.

The growl that broke Paul and I apart was the most animalist sound I had ever heard. Paul instantly stood in front of me, protecting me from whatever danger there was, which Paul and I both quickly realised was Jacob.

He was shaking from head to toe and was advancing on us quickly. Paul quickly moved to stand in front of me and faced a furious Jacob head on.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Paul," Jacob was so furious he was spitting out each word, venom dripping from each syllable.

"I'm kissing the woman I love," Paul retorted just as angry.

Jacob's laugh was bitter, "she's not your woman, you have no right-"

Paul cut him off. "She's not yours either Jacob."

That seemed to only infuriate Jacob further. "Well she's defiantly not yours, what are you trying to do, hurt her?"

"I'm not you." Paul retorted

Their anger and dislike for each other was taking over and I felt like an object, which they were fighting over, deciding which of them got to pee on me!

Jacob's fist flew and met Paul's nose and then it began. Punches were thrown, insults exchanged and then they were wolves, biting and rolling, ripping bloody chunks out of one another as other wolves phased, trying to separate the two.

All I could do was watch in fear and announce.

They soon disappeared from my view leaving only imprints and elders on the beach as the other wolves ran off into the woods to try and separate the two. Mia's eyes found mine and we stared at one another.

_He will always love you Bella, it will always be you _her words stung my heart and repeated in my mind.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

It was one in the morning by the time I pulled my bed covers over my drained body. Paul was staying at Sam and Emily's and I had briefly seen him before Emily ushered me out so she could start her work of patching him up.

I hadn't seen Jacob but by the state Paul was in, Jacob would be in a worse condition. Or so I had thought.

Ten minutes after I'd settled down my window opened, slowly. It was like a scene out of a horror movie, I was paralyzed with fear. Then Jacob whispered my name and all fear was washed away and replaced with anger and irritation.

"What the hell are you doing," I whisper shouted. I sat up in bed and turned to face him.

"I had to talk to you," he replied.

I looked at him, he looked fine. He had a few fading scars but nothing compared to Paul.

"Well you look fine, nothing like Paul," Jacob hung his head.

Silence hung in the air between us. I was waiting for him to say something, to say what he had come to say then go, but what he did say shocked me.

"He didn't fight back, not really." He whispered, he sounded ashamed.

_Why wouldn't Paul fight back?_

Jacob looked up at me, illuminated by the light of the moon I could see how ashamed and sad he was. His eyes said it all. "He wouldn't fight back because he knew if he hurt me you'd be upset with him."

My love for Paul multiplied in that moment. Never had I thought I would see the day where I could love him more and there I was, falling even more in love with him.

I was angry as well, not at Paul but at Jacob. "He was wrong; I wish he had hurt you." I didn't mean it but I was angry, and it had the desired effect, Jacob winced. "What was that Jacob? What gave you the right to just go off on one and attack Paul?"

I got out of bed and began to pace. I was fuming.

"I'm sorry Bella, I just saw you two kissing and I lost it." He looked at me, his eyes shimmering with tears. "He shouldn't be kissing you Bella."

I snorted, "Then who should? Not you, you've got an imprint, you have no claim over me and no say in what I do!"

"Bella I-"

I cut him off, "No Jacob. You have no right, this is my life and you aren't a part of it, not like you used to be."

He looked like I had shot his puppy. "I know I have no right, or place in your life but I still care Bella. Is still lov-"

"Don't," I whispered harshly. "Don't say it Jacob, that isn't far."

"But it's true."

"Maybe, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm with Paul, I love him and you have to accept that." I whispered softly, afraid my voice would betray how I felt.

"He could hurt you," Jacob stepped closer. "He could hurt you like I did. Just tell me Bella, answer on question and I'll leave, I won't interfere in your life anymore. Why are you risking it, why are you setting yourself up to fall again?"

He stared at me, his eyes burning with confusion.

_Why am I risking it? _Because I love him, but that didn't seem like the right answer.

Jacob shook his head. "He'll hurt you."

"I love him and he loves me," I blurted out. "That's why I'm risking it."

Jacob sighed and it looked like his whole body slumped in on itself. "We loved each other too and look where that got us."

He walked to the window without another word and started to lean out, and I walked closer to him so I'd be able to shut the window behind him. Then he stopped and turned to look at me. He felt dangerously close, his eyes full of something smouldering just below the surface.

When he looked at me like that, he took all the air from my lungs and I wondered if that would always be the case, if Jacob would always take my breath away, if I would never not want him some level.

"I almost forgot," Jacob said softly, his face so close to mine I could feel his breath on my cheeks. "You looked really beautiful tonight and thank you, what you did tonight was lovely, you really are amazing." He stayed that way a moment longer, completely captivating me, then he turned abruptly and climbed out the window.

I stood there, barely remembering to breathe, as I watched him drop to the floor. A cool breeze fluttered in, so I closed the window and pulled my curtains shut tightly.

Feeling dazed, I staggered back to bed and collapsed on it. I have never felt more bewildered in my entire life.

I barely got any sleep. What little I had was filled with dreams and memories, dreams of mine and Paul's possible life and memories of mine and Jacob's old life. I lay in bed for awhile after I woke up. Everything felt muddled and confusing and something Jacob said wouldn't leave my mind.

_We loved each other too and look where that got us _I loved Paul, but I had once loved Jacob and that had nearly killed me when he left. Was risking it the right choice?

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: I'm sorry about the long wait but what do you think? This story in a chapter or two is going to take a turn and some of you may hate me for a little while but please try not to.


	20. Bye Bella

**AN: **Sorry everyone for the lack of updating, I've only just got internet connection back after moving but I am back and ready to update.

So here's chapter twenty, please don't hate me, I have my reasons for this chapter.

**A Drop in the Ocean**

Chapter Twenty- Bye Bella

Bella POV

He slept peacefully. He looked young, venerably and dare I say it, cute! His wounds were healing well but Emily had given him something – a lot of something- to help with the pain. He would be asleep for a while.

So I sat by his bed, gazing at him.

I don't know how long I stared at him but I must have fallen asleep because when I next opened my eyes he was staring at me, a smile stretching his lips as he watched me.

"Hello sleepy head," he said his voice thick and dry, evidence that he had been asleep for quite a while himself.

"Hi," I replied with my own smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Ok, but I'd feel better if you were in this bed with me," as he said it he lifted up the covers and motioned for me to lie beside him. So I did.

His warmth consumed me as soon as he wrapped his arm around me. "How are you?" he whispered to me, peppering kisses anywhere he could reach.

"Worried, angry," I said slowly, I was too relaxed in his arms. "You should have fought back, you could have been killed."

"But I'm fine," he whispered, his lips finding my earlobe, he nibbled which elected a light yelp from me which soon changed into a throaty and embarrassing moan.

"That's not the point," I tried to sound angry or at least annoyed but it wasn't working well. Paul's lips were distracting, very distracting.

I found myself lying beneath him as he hovered above me, his lips kissing every inch of skin he could find.

"Paul," I said breathlessly. "You need to rest," he paid no attention and truthfully I didn't want him to stop.

Soon articles of my clothing were littered across the floor and I lay before him with only my underwear covering my lady-parts!

"So beautiful," he murmured as he placed kisses down my stomach.

He asked with his eyes and I simply nodded and like that my panties were ripped from my body and his mouth was on me in a flash. I knew there was no going back, the tension between us had peaked and we needed it, the release, and the comfort of each other's bodies.

Making love, I'd always believed, was more than simply a pleasurable act between two people. It encompassed all that a couple was supposed to share: trust and commitment, hopes and dreams, a promise to make it through whatever the future might bring.

But the greater the love; the greater the tragedy when it is over and I couldn't stop the niggling in the back of my mind that though I loved Paul, maybe it wasn't enough!

He was asleep beside me, I smiled, and he looked young and peaceful. I kissed him softly, making him mumble something incoherent.

"I love you," I whispered.

I knew what I had to do.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

Once Paul was deeply asleep after brings us both to a passionate drawn-out climax, I had crept out, feeling like I was sneaking out on a stranger after a one night stand but Paul wasn't a stranger or a one night stand, I loved him, and that was a big problem.

I went to the only place I could think of where I could think. So I found myself sitting on the edge of the cliff on First Beach. My legs dangled over the edge and as I stared at the deep dark blue sea I began to think, wonder and second guess myself.

Leah found me eventually.

"We haven't talked in a while," Leah said, sitting beside me while looking at the waves below us. "What's wrong?"

_Where to begin? _I thought. There was so much that was wrong.

"After Edward left, I kinda' felt that I didn't know how to live anymore, like I didn't want to." I felt Leah's eyes burning into the side of my head, but I kept looking forwards. "But then being with Jacob, somehow I figured it out," a small smile played on my lips, remembering the memories. "That's what love should be, you should love the person that makes you glad that you're alive. That makes you won't to live."

"You still love him," Leah wasn't asking, she knew, more than anyone she knew what it was like.

"But when I'm with Paul, it consumes me, he consumes me. He doesn't just make me want to live; he makes me want to laugh, love, smile, dance. He makes me a better person, he pushes me when no one else does, he knows what I need but he makes me get it, he makes me a stronger person." My eyes closed, I was so tired, everything was weighing me down, my emotions were getting too much.

"You love Paul to, it's ok to love them both a long as you know you can't have them both."

I looked at Leah then, "I can't have either of them." I whispered, admitting out loud for the first time.

"If you knew that Sam would imprint before you started dating, would you have dated him?" I asked the question that had been playing on my mind.

It was Leah's turn to look away. She gazed out onto the waves but my guess was that she was far away, in her memories.

"No, no I don't think so. It hurts too much; I wish I could have known I wish I didn't have to feel the pain I do every day." Leah whispered, glancing at me with shimmering eyes.

I nodded slowly, "I'm being foolish aren't I, and I have to walk away. I have to get out while I still can."

"Can you walk away?" Leah asked softly, doubt drifting in her eyes.

"I can walk away, I just don't know if I can do it without looking back."

_A Drop in the Ocean_

I stared at the two letters before me; they were both sealed and wouldn't be opened until I was far away. I felt bad, they both deserved more than just a letter from me but I couldn't say what I needed to say face to face. So the letters would have to do.

Leah walked into my room, a sullen expression on her face.

"Your things are in the car." She said sadly.

Leah was driving me to the airport. I was going to go stay with an old friend, I would have stayed with my mom but Paul would know where I was and how to find me. I knew I was running away and that I was probably taking the coward's way out but there was no other option, not that I could see.

I handed the two letters to Leah, "give these to them, when I'm far away."

She nodded and for the first time I saw Leah cry, soft tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I'm going to miss you Bella," she whispered then she wrapped her arms around me and held me to her so tightly that I could barely breathe. "But I understand. I would leave if it were an option."

My heart clenched in sadness. Leah would never be able to leave, run away from her past. She would forever have to see her cousin and the man she loved together.

"I'll miss you," I whispered, I didn't know how to reply to what she had said. What could I say? She was right; she was stuck in a place that was filled with memories of a love that no longer existed.

"I'll miss you more than you'll ever know," she pulled away, and smiled sadly at me. "Come on, we better go."

My letter to Charlie was on the table, I stared at it sadly before I shut the door for the last time and climbed into Leah's car.

_Goodbye La Push _

We drove and soon La Push was well behind us. My chest was unbearable tight, I felt smothered, I couldn't breathe and I knew it was because I was leaving Paul behind. _You're doing the right thing _I told myself but it didn't make it hurt any less.

Some people think holding on makes us strong; but I think its letting go that takes the most strength, the most courage. It hurts more, letting go but why hold on when sooner or later you will fall anyway.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

"Say goodbye to everyone for me, tell them I love them and that I'm sorry," I whispered as Leah embraced me once again.

The airport was behind me buzzing with life and drowning out mine and Leah's soft sobs.

"I will B, just remember to call me as soon as you've made it safely to wherever you're going," I hadn't told Leah where I was going in fear that she would accidently let slip while phased.

I needed to a clean break. Ironically it's what Edward had said, what he had wanted when he and his family left.

"I better go," I whispered as I grabbed the handle on my suitcase and smiled softly and sadly at Leah.

She nodded and smiled back, "I hope you find happiness Bella, you deserve it."

Her words warmed me and I bit back a fresh wave of tears. "You too; I hope you find happiness, someone to love and shout at," we both laughed softly.

"Goodbye Leah."

"Bye Bella."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>So, what do you think? I have a feeling not many people are going to be happy with me after this chapter but bear with me, I do have my reasons.


	21. Should Have Been Her

**AN: **Another update for my lovely readers. I thought a few chapters in quick succession might make up for not updating for like a month, hopefully.

Thank you all for the lovely responses to this story, they all put a smile on my face. So without further ado, here is chapter twenty one. Both POV's are from a month after Bella leaving.

**A Drop in the Ocean**

Chapter Twenty One- Should Have Been Her

_One Month Later_

Paul POV

_Dear Paul,_

_I don't know what to say, or where to begin. So I'll start with I love you. We fell in love Paul, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once before, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. _

_I'll never forget a single moment of it. It'll be those memories that keep me going._

_So thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy; thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return and thank you for the memories I will cherish them forever. But most of all, thank you for showing me that there will come a time when I can eventually let you go. _

_Remember, you once told me that being alone wasn't so bad, you taught me that even when I could see no hope left, there was some, somewhere- I just wasn't looking._

_I don't know how you did it, but once you brought me back from the dead and so it's time that I start living, and I can't live in fear, fear of you imprinting and leaving me. It isn't fair, on either of us._

_I don't think I'll ever be able to say goodbye, so I'm not going to say it. Anyway, I have a feeling that we'll see each other again one day, maybe. We'll leave it up to fate, destiny, because it seems right, if it's meant to be we'll meet again._

_So, hopefully, I'll see you soon_

_Love Bella_

The letter was torn, ripped and smudged; I had read it over and over and cried over and over again. I had cried for Bella Swan, I wasn't ashamed to admit that.

I was angry, angry at everyone, at myself but most of all I was angry at Bella. She ran, she left and she didn't even give me a proper goodbye. Just a letter, a letter that haunted me day and night and what I would say to her, she didn't let me say goodbye. That's what I'm most angry about, that there are so many things I would have told her but I didn't get the chance.

_Didn't I deserve to say goodbye, after everything? _

No one knows where she is. Charlie has spoken to her but she won't even tell him where she's staying.

I looked at the letter again, sitting on the edge of my bed as darkness began to descend. The words on the page seemed empty, I used to be able to hear her voice as I read the letter but now they are just words, I don't hear her voice or see her face.

She's fading from my memory, or I'm pushing her away. Which, I wasn't sure. It hurt, thinking of her and when I did I felt like I couldn't breathe, like a part of me was missing. She was missing.

"Paul?" Leah called.

I didn't bother calling out, she would find me.

"There you are," she stepped into my room and stared at me.

"You look like shit," once that comment would have been bitchy coming from Leah but she said it with concern.

"I feel it," I replied.

She sat beside me, staring at the letter in my hands.

"Don't do this to yourself Paul," she said softly, taking the letter from me and placing it out of reach.

I didn't need the letter anyway; I already knew it off by heart.

"Have you heard from her?" I whispered.

"Not since she called me and said she'd arrived safely," Leah whispered back, wrapping her hands around mine.

I forgot most of the time that I wasn't the only one she left behind.

"I know it's important for you to feel like you never gave up but sooner or later you're going to have to let go." She looked up at me, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "I know you miss her, we all do. But she did the right thing; she had to leave before you both got hurt."

"It hurts now," I replied, very aware of how pathetic I sounded but I didn't care. It did hurt.

"It would have hurt more if you imprinted, if _you_ hurt her. You couldn't live with that, you've seen what it's doing to Jacob."

I knew, deep, deep, deep down that she was right but I wasn't ready to face the truth, not yet.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

I walked along the beach, a bottle of whisky in hand. There was a figure, further down and I made my way towards it woozily. The whisky had taken affect though it had taken three bottles.

The figure turned out to be a woman, drinking, like me.

I staggered towards her, taking note of her long raven black hair and tanned skin. She was Quileute but she looked unfamiliar. She was beautiful, I could tell that but I didn't care, not like I once would have.

"You've come to join the pity party?" She said, I looked around but realised quickly that she was talking to me.

"Do you mind?" I slurred a little.

"Be my guest."

We sat silently, I couldnt see her face but her voice was musical, enthralling and captivating.

"Your friends with Jacob aren't you," she asked, after a very long silence.

I frowned, thinking of Jacob was the last thing I wanted to do. The name brought with it a lot of hate and anger.

"Yes," I answered sharply.

"Your part of it, aren't you? The Pack," she whispered the last part dramatically.

She looked at me then, her eyes wide.

_NO_

My world shifted, she was the one, the drunk rambling woman drinking away whatever her problems where was my soul-mate. My imprint. I stared, unable to answer and unable to look away. She was beautiful, older than me by a year or two maybe. She stared at me, expectantly.

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts though my heart still pounded violently.

"Your part of it, right?"

I nodded slowly. Wondering how on earth she knew.

"How do you-"

"Jacob told me, well showed me. He didn't mean to, he got angry then poof," she through her arm out wildly. "He wasn't my brother but a fringing' wolf!"

_Brother! _

"Rachel?"

She nodded, biting her lip and looking at me.

I swallowed loudly. Her look was one I knew well, she moved closer, setting her bottle down on the sand.

"I want to forget," she whispered looking up at me through her thick black lashes. "Help me forget?"

I helped her forget that night, I had to, she wanted my help and I would be whatever she wanted me to be, do whatever she wanted me to do. She screamed my name over and over and though I helped her forget it didn't help me at all.

I was buried inside my imprint but all I could think about was Bella, and how it should have been her.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

**Jacob POV**

_Dear Jacob,_

_What can I say! I can never put what I need to say in words, because how can I? I love you Jacob Black, like I've always loved you- even when I didn't realise it._

_Part of me used to ache at the thought of you being so close yet so untouchable, but your story and mine are different now, they have been for a long time. It wasn't easy for me to accept this simple truth, because there was a time when our stories were the same, but that was a long time ago._

_And it hurt me, deeply._

_But, as bad as it was, I learned something about myself. That I could go through something like that and survive. I mean, I know it could have been worse -a lot worse- but for me, it was all I could have handled at the time. And I learned from it._

_Our story has three parts: a beginning, a middle, and an end. And although this is the way all stories unfold, I still can't believe that ours didn't go on forever. But I see now that we were never supposed to last forever- you were always destined to be with someone else and Jake, I finally believe that destiny steered you right. Mia is a lovely girl; she deserves your love and the Pack's love._

_So love her, with all your heart like you once loved me. If you do, I know she'll be one of the happiest girls alive._

_I never thought I would ever have to say goodbye, not to you. But here it is goodbye Jacob Black, there won't be a day where I don't think about you or miss you, I need you to know that but I also need you to know that I want you to be happy._

_Let me go and I'll do the same. Who knows, I might find my soul-mate one day. _

_Love, Bell's_

"Why are you showing me this now?" Mia asked after she read it, her eyes glistening with tears.

I shrugged and sat next to her, reading over her shoulder. "I don't know, I guess I wanted you to read it."

She wrapped her hand around mine, "are you ok, I know it's been tough month and with your sister here now as well."

I smiled sadly, "keeping the secret from Rachel has been tough but I don't want her dragged into this life, she's here for one more week then she goes home to her family, her husband and child. She doesn't need to know about this life."

Mia smiled at me, "and the Bella thing?"

I didn't know what to say. I wasn't ok, I missed her like crazy, everyone did.

"I need more time," I whispered hating the pain I was putting my imprint through.

She squeezed my hand, "take all the time you need. You love her; you've loved her a long time. It'll take time, and I'm right here, I'm not leaving."

I wrapped my arms around her, she was an angel. Rachel had been hard on Mia, not understanding why I was with her but then Rachel wouldn't understand because she didn't know about imprinting, and she never would.

Mia had stayed strong, stuck through Rachel's obvious bitchy and hurtful remarks and stayed by my side. I loved Mia, I knew it and one day, when Bella was just a fond memory I knew I would love Mia with all my heart but it was getting to that day that would take some time.

Rachel walked into my room, her face instantly twisted into disgust as I held Mia in my arms. I began to shake, the hate that my sister had for my imprint was becoming unbearable and the wolf inside of me wasn't reacting well.

"Get out Rachel," I practically snarled.

"You're saying that to the wrong woman Jacob," she said looking at Mia poignantly, who stiffened and looked away from my glaring sister.

"Rachel, can I talk to you outside please." I wasn't asking. I strode past Rachel and walked into the garden, trying to calm myself down.

"What Jake," Rachel stood in front of me, her arms folded and her face set in a scowl.

My hands shook by my sides as I spoke. "You've got to stop this, Mia lives here, I love her. Nothing you say is going to change that."

Rachel laughed. "She's a skinny white blonde girl, she doesn't love you, she'll leave you when she gets what she wants from you."

It was my turn to laugh, it was bitter and angry. "What could she want from me Rachel, I'm not rich and I never will be. I'm a nobody. She loves me for me, not because she wants something. Don't judge her by your standards."

It was a low blow, but even she had admitted when her and her now husband first started dating it was because he was loaded.

"How dare you Jacob Black. You don't get to speak to me like that."

I rolled my eyes, "then start treating Mia with some respect. She's here to stay."

"That little slapper doesn't belong here Jacob, she won't last. I've heard what people say about her, no one approves. I hear the circumstances of you two getting together were a little unorthodox to." I bristled, I knew where she was going with this. "You just left poor Bella, I'm not that girls greatest fan but hell Jacob, I didn't know you could care so little about someone to just drop them for that fake bitch in there." She pointed to the house and where Mia was crying. I could hear her, her soft sobs breaking my heart and my restraint.

I began to shake.

Rachel had crossed a line.

I stepped back.

"Get back Rachel," I snarled. There was no containing my inner animal. He was mad.

I ran, headed for the trees but I phased before I was out of sight, I heard Rachel's astonished gasp.

I ran.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

I sat in the living room, waiting for Rachel. She hadn't returned home since the argument. Guilt was eating away at me, she'd stayed out all night god knows where, panicking, wondering what the hell was going on.

Dad had told me he had tried to explain, about the Pack but she had left before he could tell her much.

"Hey," Mia walked in, sat beside me. "Still no sign?"

I shook my head and glanced at the clock. 6:00am it read. Mia yawned beside me and wrapped her hands around mine.

"She'll be fine."

It didn't reassure me.

At last I heard her and the jingling of her keys. The door creaked open and she stepped in, wearing the same clothes she had left in the day before. She reeked of booze and something else.

She looked up at me with hesitation and then worry as my nose flared.

I snarled. "WHAT THE FUCK!"

_A Drop in the Ocean_

I barged my way into his house, nearly knocking the door off its hinges. He must have known I would come; he stood in a defensive position, his hands held out in front of him as if that would stop me from beating the shit out of him.

It was long overdue.

"Listen to me Jacob, let me explain."

I laughed, "no, first Bella and now my sister. Are you planning on fucking everyone I care about?"

He shook his head as I stalked closer, "no, I-" he stopped talking, I stopped.

I stared at him.

He looked confused, ashamed, guilty but also happy. The sort of happiness that only came with one thing.

"You imprinted on her didn't you," I said calmly and quietly.

He nodded.

I pounced.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>So, what do you think? I know that people are going to hate me for having Paul imprint on Rachel but never fear, have a little faith in me and you'll soon see how it'll affect the story.


	22. Running Away

**AN: **So some people are really mad at me for having Paul imprint on Rachel but trust me, I have a plan. So here is the next chapter, I hope you all enjoy it and I'm sorry for the cliffy at the end...

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Twenty Two- Running Away**

**Bella POV**

Throughout the course of our lives we run away from many things, from the truth; from hurt, from ourselves.

It's been three months, two weeks and three days since I left La Push behind, since I left Paul behind. Not a day goes by where I don't think of him or miss him. I doubt my decision; did I do the right thing?

Doubt is a disease. It infects the mind and eventually it takes control of you.

How can I be sure I made the right decision?

"Carmel latte," Sophie places the mug in front of me. I smile and thank her.

Sophie has been my saver, letting me stay with her, letting me work for her in the little cafe she runs. She has been my rock, my confident of sorts but I couldn't confide in her fully, I couldn't talk to anyone. No one would believe me, sometimes I don't believe me.

Werewolves, vampires... it's all so impossible but possible and very real.

I wondered sometimes, what my life would be like without the knowledge of the supernatural world, would I be happier?

"Hey, you ok?" Sophie sits down in front of me, taking off her green apron.

I smile and shrug, "I've been better."

"It'll get better, easier."

_I wish I could believe that. _But I know, deep down that it will never get easier. Easy is not a word I would use to describe anything in my life least of all the pain I feel when I think of Paul. It won't get easier; the least I can hope for is that in time I'll learn to live with it, with the regrets, the not knowing what would have happened.

"Maybe," I respond.

Has he imprinted?

Has he moved on?

Does he still love me like I love him?

It's those questions that kept me up at night, that have me staring off into the distance, losing myself in my own thoughts.

It's those questions that I'll never get an answer to.

_I left so I didn't know the answers _I told myself. I didn't want to know if he imprinted, I didn't want to know if he would always love me.

I left for a reason and though it hurt my reasons were valid, weren't they?

_A Drop in the Ocean_

New York is beautiful, filled with life and colour. I see it, the beauty but it does nothing, it doesn't take my breath away, not like La Push. There is something about the trees, the fresh air, the salty sea; its home.

I never knew I could miss something so much. I nearly miss it as much as I do Paul, my father, Leah, the Pack.

I miss my home. My life.

_It can't be my life _I think to myself.

"Hey Bella, I'm closing up in ten, do you mind staying out front while I go stock check out back?" Sophie calls from across the room.

"No problem," I call back.

I began to clear up the tables, brushing the crumbs into my hand and clearing the empty mugs saucers and plates, stacking them on my tray.

The bell jingled above the door.

"We're closed," I called over my shoulder.

Silence; the bell didn't jingle.

"Bella?" my name was whispered so quietly I barely heard it.

I turned around slowly, almost afraid.

I had imagined him whispering my name for so long that I was almost afraid that it wasn't real. That my mind was playing tricks on me like it had done once before so many years ago.

"It's really you," he said his voice thick and uneven.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

We stared at one another, neither of us moving or speaking. I took him all in, my memory hadn't done him justice; he was so much more in person. I wanted to run to him, through my arms around him, tell him how much I had missed him but I couldn't.

Instead I walked to the counter; I turned my back on him. I couldn't think while looking at him, I couldnt think of anything but I how much I loved him, missed him, needed him.

Instead I began to ramble instead of saying something useful, saying how I felt. "Do you want tea, coffee, we have soft drinks or-"

"Bella, stop" he said, from right behind me, I could feel his breath on my neck. It sent chills down my spine and goosebumps up my arms. My hands fell to the counter and I braced myself, breathing in deeply, trying to compose myself, pull whatever was left of me together.

_He's here, he's really here. _

"Look at me, please Bella."

I turned around slowly, he was so close, I could feel the heat radiating off his body. I could smell him, he smelt so familiar, so comforting.

"Sit with me," he asked.

I nodded and followed him, dazed, confused and scared.

We sat across from one another, gazing at one another. My eyes ran over his face, he looked older, I realised or maybe he just looked tired. His eyes seemed a little lifeless and I wondered if I was the cause.

"What are you-"I didn't finish what I was about to say as Sophie walked in. As she spotted Paul and I her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. I had described Paul to her on many occasions and not many people –except the Pack- fit the description. She knew who he was instantly.

"I'll leave you two alone," she mumbled before rushing back into the store room.

"You work here, with her then?" Paul asked glancing around the cafe.

"Yeah, Sophie's an old friend, she gave me a place to work and live." I replied not once taking my eyes off him.

It looked like he hadn't shaven in a couple of days, the stubble that littered his jaw line made him look even more rugged.

His eyes landed on me once again, he looked at me, longing and sadness settling in his brown orbs.

"Why?" he whispered brokenly. I knew what he was asking.

It took every ounce of strength not to get up and throw my arms around him, comfort him like I desperately wanted to.

"I had to Paul, I couldn't stay."

"Yes, you could."

I shook my head, "no, no couldn't. I would have been living in fear, wondering when our last day would be together. I couldn't do that, not to either of us."

He hung his head, "I've missed you, so much."

My heart skipped a beat as tears sprung to my eyes. _Oh Paul, I've missed you to. _

"Come back with me," he whispered, his eyes burning intensely. "Come home Bella."

I breathed in sharply. _Oh I want to go home, so much _I thought but didn't say. If I said it would be admitting that I truly to miss home, the Pack, my family.

"I can't," I sobbed, tears slowly trickling down my cheeks. "I can't, what if you imprint I can't do-"

I stopped as I watched Paul. He reacted to something, he seemed to hang his head a little lower and his shoulders seemed to drop. He looked sad, really sad.

"Paul?"

He looked at me, his eyes shimmering. He looked afraid. "You don't have to worry about me imprinting."

I stared at him, confused.

"Why?"

"Because it's already happened..."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> So, what do you think? Please let me know.


	23. Succumb to his Kiss

**AN: **I can't believe the response I am getting from you guys, I'm seriously blown away by all your lovely comments, so thank you so very much and keep them coming.

_**New story alert: **__So I really shouldn't post another story because I have way to many on the go but the story I'm going to post is __**You Against Me **__and it's been playing on my mind for a while. It's a Jacob imprint story but with many twist and obstacles one being Bella. If you want to give it a chance it'll be on my profile shortly. _

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Twenty Three- Succumb to his Kiss**

**Bella POV**

I ran.

I felt like every bone in my body was breaking, shattering beneath me as I ran.

I leaned against the wall in the alley, my breathing uneven and shaky as tears fell down my cheeks like streams.

_This is why I left, so I wouldn't feel this way._

"Bella," he called my name and it broke another piece of my heart.

He stepped into the alley, walking slowly towards me; his whole body seemed to slump forwards, like a weight was holding him down.

"Please don't," I whispered, shaking my head and staring at him with pleading eyes. I couldn't look at him, be near him. It hurt too much.

"I'm not with her," he said softly.

I stared at the ground processing the information. _He's not with her? _How?

"What-how can you-"I tried to speak but my words were jumbled, like my thoughts.

"How can I not be with her?" he said, I nodded.

"I'm whatever she needs me to be and she doesn't need me, she has a husband a child. A family." He said softly, his voice was soft, softer than I remembered. He sounded tired, drained of energy.

"Do you love her?" I asked though I didn't really want to know the answer because he had to love her, didn't he? She was his imprint, whoever she was.

He was silent; I didn't dare look at him. Then his hands were cupping my cheeks. He tilted my face up so I had to look at him.

"I love you. It's always going to be you Bella."

We stared at one another then slowly he leaned forwards. I gasped softly as his lips brushed mine. _Oh I've missed this, missed him. _His lips brushed against mine once again and I responded, my hands sliding up his arms before my fingers entwined into the hair in the nape of his neck. I pulled him towards me desperately, as he held my against him, he devoured me with his lips hungrily.

The kiss was desperate and it said more than either of us could in words.

Breathlessly I pulled away, resting my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me.

"What now?" I whispered, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

"Come home Bella, come home with me."

_A Drop in the Ocean_

Paul had left promising me that he would return in the morning. I stumbled back into the cafe in a daze, wondering what would happen next. Could I go back, back to La Push? There were still so many things Paul and I had to talk about and until then I couldn't decide. I couldn't go back without knowing everything.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

Paul arrived at ten in the morning; Sophie kindly had given me the day off. Paul looked around the apartment me and Sophie shared above the cafe as I made us some drinks. I was nervous, my hands shook and they were damp with sweat.

"This I where you've been staying," I jumped slightly as Paul spoke from behind me. I turned to find him leaning against the door frame, watching me intently.

I nodded, "Yeah, Sophie made her study into a bedroom for me. It's small but it's ok."

I handed him a cup of coffee, he took it and had a sip. "Thank you."

I smiled headed to the living room, sitting on the chair leaving Paul the sofa. We sat opposite each other, neither of us wanting to be the one to start talking first. But I had a burning question, one that had kept me up for the majority of the night.

"How can you not be with her? I thought that you had to be near an imprint otherwise it caused you physical pain." I blurted out in a rush of words.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair and leaned back. "The elders said it was unprecedented, an imprint denying and leaving a wolf." His voice was level, dull and it seemed he was trying to control himself, his emotions. "They said that they could only speculate and they think it's because she doesn't want me that my wolf has to respect that."

"Does it hurt? Being away from her?"

He shrugged, "not hurt so much as I feel incomplete. But that's the wolf not me."

"Who is she?"

He winced; I guess I sounded a little sharp.

"Bella, she doesn't matter." He said his words entwined with a hint of pleading.

"I need to know. Does she live in La Push?"

I shuddered at the thought. He wouldn't ask me to come back if she lived there, would he? He couldnt expected me to walk around La Push afraid I'd bump into the woman that was his soul-mate.

He shook his head, "no, she doesn't. She lives in Seattle."

I frowned, that wasn't that far away. Not far enough.

"Who is she Paul?" I asked, almost begged.

He sighed, "Rachel, Rachel Black."

I stared, wide eyed, unease settling in my stomach. "Jacob's sister," I whispered. "So she could come to La Push anytime, and she will, to visit her family." I was thinking out loud.

"She hates La Push; she won't be back for a while." He whispered, staring at me, caging my reaction no doubt.

"But she'll be back," I whispered.

I couldn't go back to La Push. I couldn't be waiting around for his imprint to turn up for a family visit, I couldn't watch as Paul stared at her, watching her like every other imprint did. Like Sam and Jared who seemed to almost shine when there imprints were around.

_How can he ask me to come back?_

I stood up slowly. "You need to leave," I whispered my words broken as I bite back a sob.

"Bella, no please-"

I shook my head, "I can't come back. You shouldn't have come looking for me."

He was before me in an instant, his hands once again cupping my cheeks. "I didn't come looking for you; I didn't know you were here Bella."

I frowned, he just happened to walk into the very cafe, in New York that I was working at.

"You said you had a feeling that we'd see each other again one day. You said to leave it up to destiny because it seemed right, you said if it's meant to be we'd meet again." He whispered the words almost identical to the ones I wrote in the letter. "Well I'm here Bella," he whispered, his forehead resting against mine. "Maybe this is fate telling us something."

My hands rested against his chest as I breathed in shaky breaths. "I don't know what to do." I whispered dejectedly.

He pressed his lips to my forehead. It was such a sweet and loving gesture that I found myself biting back tears. "Come home, we all miss you. I miss you."

"I don't know if I can. I left for a reason Paul," I argued though I didn't have the strength, mentally.

"I know you did but you can come back for a reason, I love you Bella, it's you I want." He spoke so gently and so softly as he hand caressed my cheek lovingly.

"What if she comes back?" I asked, my answer depended on his.

I held my breath as he spoke.

"She doesn't want me and even if she did I would fight it. I can live without Rachel but I can't live without you Bella."

_I can't live without you Bella _God; I had wanted to hear that for so long.

"Paul I-"

His lips brushed against my ear, his cool breath washed over my skin. My eyes closed, my body felt like it was in heaven wrapped in his arms his lips brushing my skin but my mind was in hell, battling against my emotions.

"Don't fight it Bella, please, don't fight it." He whispered.

So I didn't and once he realised his lips descended upon mine with a feverish need, he nipped my bottom lip with excitement as my arms wrapped around his neck and my legs around his waist as his hands cupped my buttocks, supporting me.

My senses were in overdrive, I could smell him, his scent so comforting and arousing. I could taste him so sweet and fresh and I could feel him, oh I defiantly could feel him; with my body plastered to his, I could feel his heartbeat against my breast and his arousal against my core.

I was in heaven once again and I had missed it with a passion.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

I panted as Paul lay beside me, his breathing just a quick and shallow. We were tangled in the sheets, my leg hooked over his as not to lose contact.

He turned and lay on his side, his head resting on his hand. He smirked down at me, smugly. "Is that a yes, will you come back?"

I smiled and laughed, he looked like a child who'd just had the best ice-cream in the world. I stared at him, no gazed at him. He looked happier, though he looked tired the weight that was on his shoulders seemed to have lifted.

Maybe we could be together, properly. I wouldn't have to fear that he would imprint because he already had and she'd rejected him and by some miracle he still wanted me. That had to count for something.

I nodded slowly, "I'll come home."

He beamed down at me, his smile hands down the best smile I had ever seen. "I love you Bella," he murmured against my lips. "So much."

I smiled and succumbed to his kiss with a smile. "I love you to Paul."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>Are you proud of me, no cliff-hanger! I think I can almost see some of you smiling in relief. I had a comment that said, very kindly, that the cliff-hangers seemed a bit forced and I agree, I guess I just wanted people to want to read this story but I shouldn't do that by leaving everyone on tender hooks at the end of every chapter.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll update soon. Please let me know what you think, feedback is always welcome.


	24. Coming Home

**AN: **Sorry it's been a while, here is chapter twenty four. Thank you to SinShu for the video for this story and as promised, you are a certain wolf's imprint.

Anyway, hope you all enjoy.

Link to video for this story is on my profile. Thank you SinShu.

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Twenty Four- Coming Home**

**Bella POV**

Paul had stayed in New York a week, waiting for me to get everything sorted before I could leave. We took that time to catch up, not just about what we'd missed in each other's lives but what I had missed not being in La Push.

Embry had imprinted, apparently she was lovely, the perfect match for him. We hadn't talked much about that though; it seemed to be a sore spot for both of us. Kim and Emily were pregnant, Kim two months along while Emily was four months. I had smiled at that, they would both make amazing mothers.

I'd also learnt that Paul was in New York on business, he Sam and Jared were starting up their own company, a construction company, and were seeking financial backing which according to Paul he had secured.

So all in all I learnt that a lot could happen in three months. It was odd, knowing how much everything had changed and yet I hadn't changed at all.

"Are you ready?" Paul asked his hand on my thigh, tightening his grip every so often in reassurance.

We had passed the sign welcoming us to La Push.

I smiled and nodded, "yes, I'm ready." But in truth, I was far from ready but it was what I wanted. I wanted to be home.

Sophie had been very good about the whole situation but that didn't make me feel less guilty leaving her on such short notice, I had promised to keep in touch and to visit which Paul wasn't too pleased about.

To take my mind of returning home I turned to Paul, "So this construction company, it sounds like a great opportunity."

"Yeah, we are going to start small you know, get the houses in La Push fixed up first, we won't make a lot of profit to begin with but in time we'll expand, the Pack are going to help then if we need to we'll employ more people, locals of course!"

I smiled, he saw and his eyes brows rose in curiosity.

"What?" he asked his lips twitching into a smile.

"Nothin, I've just never heard you sound so passionate before." I liked it, he sounded so strong and certain. He had a twinkle in his eyes and a passion I'd never heard or seen before, coming from him.

"You haven't heard me talk about you," he said with a cheesy smile that melted my insides.

I laughed and he joined me, grabbing my hand on his as he drove us down the familiar roads of La Push. I smiled, in spite of everything I felt calm and happy. I was home.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

"You just drove right past my house," I said turning to Paul with raised eyebrows.

He looked sheepish. "Everyone's at Sam and Emily's."

"Paul!" I groaned, not feeling quite ready to face everyone.

"I know. I'm sorry. I tried to talk them out of it but it was no use." He smiled apologetically at me. "And anyway, you're not staying at Charlie and Sue's." He said with a glint of mischief in his eyes.

I frowned, "what do you mean?"

"You're staying with me." He said it like it was obvious. I could feel my eyes widen and no doubt my mouth was hanging open.

_Living with Paul! What!_

"What-I-I can't-"

He stopped the car and turned to me, his eyes smouldering. "Now your back I can't not be near you, Bella. I love you and I won't spend a second away from you that I don't have to." I opened my mouth, ready to protest but he stopped me. "I love you, I want to go to sleep with you in my arms and wake up with you beside me every morning. I want a life with you Bella."

I stared at him, tears welling in my eyes. I close the distance between myself and Paul and pressed my lips to his. I felt him smile against me.

"Is that a yes," he murmured against my lips.

I shook my head from side to side. He pulled back; hurt flashing in his eyes before he looked down avoiding my gaze.

I sighed sadly. "I want all that to Paul but it's been three months, I think we should take things slow. I love you Paul and I want a life with you to, remember that."

He looked at me, a sad smile on his lips. "So where do we go from here?"

I smiled, "we go to Sam and Emily's."

He rolled his eyes but started up the car and pulled back onto the road. "I mean with us, where do we go from here with us?"

I placed my hand on his thigh, shocking him slightly. "We go out, on a date. On our own with no chaperones," we both shook our heads at the memory. "We go slowly; we get to know each other again."

"I can do that," he said glancing at me from the corner of his eye.

"Good," I tried to hide how insanely happy I felt in that moment but I didn't need to because the massive smile on Paul's face told me he felt just the same.

We could work Paul and I. We were going to be happy, we had to be.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

I wasn't left alone for one second that night. I was surrounded by Pack, imprints and elders constantly. Emily and Kim were glowing with pregnancy pride and it suited them, Embry's imprint; Rebeckah Arizona Thompson, or Ari for short was lovely with light brown hair, bluish grey eyes and a great personality, I was sure we would become friends.

My father was nearly glued to my side and only left me alone once Sue dragged him away flashing a smile in my direction.

At the end of the night it felt like I had never left, we all fell into easy conversation, laughed and joked but there was some tension in the air, looks thrown in mine and Paul's direction, the looks were filled with concern. But I wasn't going to let that get me down though Leah, with her eyes, promised me we would be talking in the near future.

"Hey, you ok?" Paul asked as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side.

We were all sitting around the fire, chatting and eating the little food that was left.

"I'm good," I whispered lightly kissing his shoulder.

I tried not to look over at Jacob and Mia, who were the only ones I hadn't spoken to. They were in a similar position as me and Paul but Jacob wasn't looking at Mia, but at me. We stared at one another; I saw sadness and guilt flash across his features before his lips twitched into an uncertain smile and before I could stop myself my lips lifted into a small smile to match his.

We had a long way to go, Jacob and I but that one smile held hope for us both, I could see it in his eyes and I could feel it in my chest. I missed him, my bestfriend, my sun, I knew we would never have the easy friendship we once had but there was hope, a tiny sliver of hope that maybe we could be friends, one day.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

I awake to light tapping on my door before Charlie walked in, holding a mug of steaming coffee.

"Still like it milky with two sugars?"

I nodded and smiled, sitting up and leaning against the headboard. "Thanks dad."

He sat on the end of my bed. The room hadn't changed since I'd left; everything was just where I'd left it.

"I knew you'd come back," he said softly, his eyes still roaming around my room.

I frowned; Charlie wasn't big on deep conversations, or conversations on a whole, unless he felt like he needed to say something. Obviously he felt like he did.

"This is your home, where you belong whether you want to or not." His eyes reached mine. "It wasn't the same, not for anyone, with you gone."

I dropped my eyes, guilt coursing through me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

He sighed gruffly. "I understand why you left, I'm glad in a way."

I frowned once again. "What?"

He shook his head, "If you'd been here when Paul imprinted I don't know what would have happened."

I winced slightly but shook it off. "No, I don't know either."

He nodded, "be careful Bella, I know you love Paul and he you but," he paused, almost unsure of whether to say something or not. "Just be careful."

We sat in silence for a while before Charlie got up to leave but as he got to the door a question sprang to mind. "Dad?"

He stopped and turned round. "Yes?"

"What happened when Paul imprinted on Rachel?"

Charlie sighed, "That's one you're going to have to ask him kid."

I sat, sipping my coffee. I would defiantly be asking Paul, he had never spoken about what happened when he had imprinted, how or when. _Why?_

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>So what do you think? Let me know and thank you all to everyone following and reviewing this story, all your comments put a smile on my face.


	25. The Curse of an Imprint

**AN:** Sorry for the long delay but here it is, the next chapter. I hope you enjoy. If you haven't all ready please check out the video for this story made by one of my lovely readers. Anyway I'll let you get on with the story.

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Twenty Five- The Curse of an Imprint**

**Paul POV**

_I can't believe you found her _Jared thought as we ran together. _That you just happened to walk into the same cafe, in New York, that she was working at. _

I heard Jacob's unwanted thoughts, _no one can._

_Shut up Black _I thought.

He scoffed, as much as a wolf could. _She knows about Rachel?_

_She knows I imprinted on Rachel. She knows Rachel didn't want me but most importantly she knows that it's her I love. Her I want. _I replied harshly wanting to make it clear to the fucker that I had, in no way, tricked Bella into coming back.

_And what if Rachel comes back? _Jacob wasn't ready to drop the subject.

_Rachel made it perfectly clear she didn't want me. _I thought back to the day...

_Jacob was all fists, punching me anywhere he could. He had the advantage and all I could do was protect myself the best I could._

"_Jake, stop it." I faintly heard Rachel cry out. "Please, Jake STOP!"_

_Jacob paused for long enough that I could get away, clutching my broken ribs as blood trickled down my face._

"_It was a mistake, I don't want him Jake. I regret it. It'll never happen again."_

_Jacob turned to face his sister staring at her before laughing, a bitter angry laugh. He turned to me, his face twisted into something ugly and bitter. "Did you hear that Paul, even your own imprint doesn't want you."_

_I winced as the words cut me deep. It was an unfamiliar feeling, being unwanted, but it hurt all the same._

"_Imprint? What the hell is an imprint?" Rachel said staring from her brother to me..._

Even after finding out about imprinting she still left.

_See Black, don't you remember _I bit back a snarl. _She doesn't want me but that isn't why you won't let this go is it, _I thought and my thought wasn't received well. It hit a nerve like I knew it would.

_Don't go there Paul. _

Jared stayed silent, listening to the two of us as we all patrolled.

_It because she's with me isn't it, even though I've imprinted, I still have Bella and that's killing you _I knew I sounded way to happy but I couldn't help it, I had everything I ever wanted and it just so happened it was everything Jacob wanted as well, yet he couldn't have her.

_You weren't strong enough were you Jake and that really is eating you up_

_SHUT YOUR MOUTH PAUL _Jacob screamed at me as he swiftly shifted course, heading straight for me.

Jared must have phased out to get Sam because they both phased in at the same time, with Sam ordering Jacob to stop just before he reached me, much to Jake's disappointment.

_Paul phase out _Sam ordered. _Bella's at mine and Emily's waiting for you._

I phased quickly, running to Sam's in human form. I had only been nine hours since I'd seen her but it felt like a life time. With Bella, it seemed, I could never get enough.

I walked through the door to find Bella sitting at the table picking at one of Emily's famous blueberry muffins. She smiled and stood as she saw me and as we met half way around the table she leaned forwards, pressing her lips softly to mine.

"Morning beautiful," I said wrapping my arms around her waist.

She smiled, "Want to tell me why Jared came rushing in calling Sam before they both left in a panic?" she arched her right brow and stared at me impatiently.

I stifled a laugh. "Nothing happened."

"Why don't I believe you?" she asked but her posture relaxed as she smiled up at me.

I kissed the tip of her nose, "I have no idea."

She shook her head from side to side in what I could only imagine was despair.

"Come on," she took my hand calling out to Emily saying we'd be back later.

"Where are we going?" I asked smirking as she tugged me along behind her.

"To the beach."

_A Drop in the Ocean_

We sat side by side, staring out at the waves as they rolled and crashed against the shore. Bella hadn't said much, she just sat beside me her hands playing with the grains of sand beside her.

"What happened when you imprinted?" she broke the silence asking the one question I prayed she'd never ask.

I sighed and lowered my eyes, staring at the ground instead of the beauty of the sea. Images flashed through my mind, her golden skin and soft sighs but the images weren't right, that night hadn't been right. As Rachel said, it was a mistake.

"A lot of things happened," I replied.

I saw her out the corner of my eye; she was looking at me, worry swimming in her eyes. "Your worrying me Paul, what happened?" she sounded small and fragile and it took me back to the day we find her after Jacob imprinted. I shook the image from my mind.

In that moment I had to decide, tell her the truth and maybe lose her or lie. It took me only a second to decide.

"It was a month after you left, I wasn't," I struggled to find the right words. "I wasn't me, I was a mess. I was angry at you, upset and above all, I missed you desperately." I sighed and looked at her; tears were welling in her eyes. "One night I had been drinking, heavily. I was walking along the beach there was someone else there, as drunk and miserable as me."

"Rachel," Bella whispered her name her voice cracking. She knew where the story was going. "You slept with her." It wasn't a question; I knew she was stating a fact.

I nodded, "she asked me if I could help her forget. She'd just found out about the pack. She was as lost as me."

"You slept with her," I frowned, Bella sat as still as stone, repeating the same words.

"Bella you have to understand-"she scrabbled to her feet, a single tear rolling down her cheek as she backed away from me, her eyes wide and filled with sadness.

I jumped to my feet, "Bella, please let me-"

She held out her hand, her palm facing me. "Please, don't. I just," she took in a shaky breath. "I just need some time, alone."

Without she ran from me, I watched her until I couldn't see her any longer then I fell to my knees. _I've lost her, after everything I've lost her._

_A Drop in the Ocean_

**Bella POV**

I couldn't help but run from him, I knew I shouldn't have but I couldn't sit there any longer. I couldn't pretend that him sleeping with his imprint didn't hurt me deeply because it did. I had come to terms with the fact that he had imprinted and that they would always have that bond between them but with them sleeping together it just added another bond. Something else they shared.

I ran home, trying to hold back as many tears as I could until I was in the comfort of my own room where strangers would not see me weep. No one was home and for that I was grateful, I closed my door behind me and sunk to the floor. I couldn't hold the tears back any longer and I sobbed cradling my head in my hands.

It was a while before my tears slowed and sense filled me. I tried my eyes and washed my face, hating how weak and pathetic I looked when I saw my reflection in the mirror; all swollen eyed and tear stained cheeks.

"He loves you," I whispered to my reflection. "He wants you."

And I knew deep down that it was me he wanted, after everything I couldn't believe otherwise. He may have imprinted but he wasn't with her, he had found me even if it was by accident and he wanted me.

I shut and locked the front door behind me, I had been stupid to run away from him and I knew it. I would make it right. I walked to Paul's, everything I wanted and needed to say to him was going through my mind but most of all, I needed him to know that it was ok and that I still loved him. I really had no right to be upset, I left him and he was free to do what he liked.

I arrived at Paul's and knocked, after five minutes of nothing I sat on his porch steps. I would wait for him to come home for as long as it took and then I would through myself into his arms and hold him telling how much I loved him... that was the plan anyway!

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>Sorry for my absence, The Game of Thrones has been keeping me distracted. If you haven't watched the TV series and your over 18, watch it! And I would recommend the books also though I haven't finished the first one yet.

Anyway, I hope this chapter wasn't too bad, I feel like its missing something but I'm not sure what. Thank you to everyone reviewing and following this story, your all amazing and I hope I don't disappoint.


	26. You'll Always Have a Home

**AN: **Hello my lovely reader's thank you all for your lovely comments again. I'm sorry if you asked me any questions and I haven't answered but I have so many and so little time to answer them all!

I hope you like this chapter though many of you will probably be mad at me at the end...

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Twenty Six- You'll Always Have a Home**

**Bella POV**

It was two hours before Paul came into sight. His shoulders were slumped and his head was down. He looked lost and defeated and I hated seeing him like that. He didn't see me until he was standing on the path to his house and when he did see me he stopped, his eyes widened in disbelief like he never thought he would see me again.

I stood and locked my eyes with his as he whispered my name.

"I never should have run; I've done enough running to know it doesn't solve anything." I said not looking away from him.

"Bella I-"I stopped him.

"Let me finish, please." I said smiling, when he didn't speak I continued. "I was upset and hurt but I didn't have the right to be. I left and you were free to do what you liked." I smiled sadly, wishing he would come closer but if he felt like I did he probably couldn't move with overwhelming emotion.

"I know we have a lot of things to sort out and I know it isn't going to be easy but I don't care, I love you Paul and that's all that matters."

He was before me in three long strides, he said nothing but pulled me into his arms and crashed his lips against mine. The kiss was hungry and filled with need. He held me against his chest his hands cupping my face as he devoured me. Somehow he opened his door without letting me go and we stumbled into his house never once breaking away from one another.

We never made it to his bedroom but instead we ended up in the kitchen, the contents of his fridge rattled as he slammed me against it, I was aware it should have hurt but I was too lost in Paul to care. Every touch, every kiss and every caress was filled with love, with a need that burned within me and it seemed it burned within him to.

Our clothing fell to the floor piece by piece as we explored one another like never before. He made me feel things I had never felt before with just a touch or kiss, his hands were like magic and I was in ecstasy. We fell to the floor in a tangle of limbs while the room filled with the sounds of our whispers and moans, our blissful sighs and our dancing lips.

It wasn't the first time we had made love but it was the time I would always hold closest to my heart. As he moved within me his lips very rarely left mine and if they did it was to pepper kisses along my jaw or whisper a sweet-nothing into my ear.

We fell over the edge together; clinging to each other like our lives depended on it and even when we were both lying naked and breathless on the floor he didn't pull away from me. He stayed inside me, gazing down at me like I was everything he ever wanted and more.

I closed my eyes and smiled, I couldn't remember a time when I was happier.

"I love you to Bella, more than you'll ever know." He whispered.

My smile grew tenfold; I leaned up and pressed my lips to his.

"So, what happened to going slow?" he mumbled against my skin while softly pressing feather light kiss on my collar bone.

I laughed, "I guess slow really isn't us."

He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, his eyes were soft and his smile was blissful.

"Move in with me Bella," he whispered his eyes hopefully as he gazed down at me.

I could see it, in his eyes, that he thought I would reject him again. I thought about it, saying no would be the logical thing to do but was it the right thing?

"I know it's soon and I know you wanted us to date and to get to know each other again but Bella, I already know you, I already love you and I want a life with you and I want it to start as soon as possible." He spoke with such conviction and yearning that I found myself nodding slowly before smiling, the idea growing on me every passing second.

"Yes, I'll move in." I said laughing happily but also shock.

_Have I just agreed to move in with Paul?_

_A Drop in the Ocean_

"Bella, this is madness," Charlie stood at my door red faced and angry.

I shoved jeans and t-shirts into my suitcase trying as best as I could to explain to Charlie.

"I love him dad, we want a life together. Why is that so bad?"

His face was turning purple, "you have all the time in the world, why now? You've only just got back; don't you think this is a little fast?"

"Why not now! We love each other and we have nothing to fear anymore. We can be together." I sighed and stopped packing long enough to stand in front of my father. "I'm happy dad, please be happy for me."

Charlie sighed and stared at me before looking around my room. "I don't want to see you get hurt Bella, not again. I want what is best for you and I don't think moving in with Paul is the best thing right now."

I sighed and turned away. I would never convince Charlie it was a good idea but fortunately I was old enough to make my own decisions. Though not having Charlie's support was difficult it wouldn't stop me.

The silence lasted what seemed like a life time before he spoke again. "When do you go?"

I turned and smiled softly, he looked grumpy but no longer angry more resigned to the fact that I was leaving whether he liked it or not. "Tomorrow morning."

He looked close to tears which had me fighting back my own. "I'll cook dinner tonight then, to mark the occasion."

I smiled and tried to contain my laughter. "You're going to cook?"

Charlie just glared playfully and walked away but not before his eyes flickered around my room one last time. "You'll always have a home here, remember that Bella."

_A Drop in the Ocean_

I stood in front of my new front door, the key in hand. I had woken up to a bouquet of flowers and an envelope on my bedside table from Paul. The key was in the envelope along with a note that said to let myself in and he would be there around lunchtime with a surprise. I had smiled and sniffed the flowers full of happiness.

_Everything is going right._

I turned the key in the door and smiled as I heard the soft click before the door swung open. I stepped inside my smile never faltering, I pulled my suitcase along behind me, it only held essentials but it would do until the Pack had some time to move my other belongings to Paul's house... _no, our house. _

I pushed the bedroom door open and wrinkled my nose. It smelt of old clothes and smelly socks... a really mans room. I set my suitcase down in the corner of the room then got busy collecting the clothes from the floor before putting them in the wash and then deciding that the whole house needed to be cleaned and aired.

Two hours passed and all the windows were open, the house smelt fresh and clean and the floor wasn't littered with dirty clothes and old beer cans. The stains on the carpet were gone and the dust that covered every surface removed, I sighed contently and let myself fall back on the sofa.

I closed my eyes, remembering when happiness seemed so far away with so many hurdles and obstacles in the way. _How times change._

I looked at the clock, one o'clock, Paul would be back shortly. The clock hung on one of the living room walls, its colour dull and marked.

"This place needs a lick of paint," I mumbled to myself already wondering what colour we could paint it.

I laughed to myself; it all seemed so unreal like a dream that I would surely wake up from.

A knock at the door had me smiling, "You didn't give me _your_ key did you?" I called and opened the beaming.

My smile fell, it wasn't Paul at the door.

"Bella..."

_This is where I wake up from my dream!_

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>Don't worry I'll update soon, I promise. Hope you enjoyed please let me know what you think... and who could be at the door?


	27. Ties that Bind

**AN: **Thank you so much to everything one reviewing and reading. Over 1000 reviews, that's insane and I'd never thought that would happen. I can't thank you all enough for your encouraging words and support. It means the world to me and I only hope that I don't disappoint...

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Twenty Seven- Ties that Bind**

**Bella POV**

_This cannot be happening._

"What are you-"I didn't finish because at that moment I saw Paul walking down the street, his hands occupied with several bags that seemed to be bulging with food. He didn't stop until he was closer to the house and when he did look up his whole body began to instantly shake violently.

In several long strides he was by the porch, the bags set down by his feet as he tried and failed to gain some kind of control.

"What are you doing here Jacob?" I finally asked, worried for both of them as they both shook, though Jacob had more control.

Jacob torn his eyes away from Paul and breathed in deeply. "I came to talk to you both."

Paul moved swiftly and was beside me, in the doorframe, in a second; his arm around my waist protectively as he concealed my body with his. I rolled my eyes and tried to step around him but his grip was strong so I settled for talking to Paul's back.

"About what Jacob?" I asked trying to sound calm.

The silence was awkward and for a moment I thought Jacob wasn't going to answer but he did finally and when he did I wished he hadn't said a word.

"It's about Rachel."

Her name was like a kick in the stomach and so was Paul's reaction. "Is she ok?"

He sounded panicked and afraid and though I knew Paul loved me the link between him and his imprinted would always be stronger.

"Come in Jacob," I said stepping away from Paul as he moved aside to let Jacob in, even if he did it reluctantly.

"What's happened Black," Paul barked impatiently.

Jacob looked tired and worn, the colouring under his eyes dark from what I assumed to be from lack of sleep.

"She and her husband are getting a divorce," I held my breath. "She's coming back." I felt like the air had been knocked out of me.

I stumbled to the sofa, clutching my chest trying to suck the air into my lungs. I saw Paul before me, his lips were moving but I heard no words. All I could hear was my blood pounding in my ears drowning out any other sound.

He shook me, I felt it but I didn't care. She was coming back, was she coming back for Paul?

"Bella," his loud bark brought me back.

"Breath Bella," Jacob said from behind Paul his eyes swimming with worry.

"I'm sorry; I thought it best you knew." Jacob said sadly.

I nodded slowly. "Thank you for telling us," I whispered.

"Leave Jacob," Paul commanded not taking his eyes off me.

"Paul," I began to protest but Jacob stopped me.

"It's ok, I'll leave." He turned and walked away but just before he left he turned around. "I'm sorry." He said sincerely before shutting the door behind him.

Once he left Paul and I stared at one another.

"Bella," he whispered my name.

My heart fluttered, I saw the pain in his eyes and heard it in his voice.

"She's coming back," I whispered brokenly.

He nodded, "but that doesn't change a thing." He said cupping my cheeks. "I love you Isabella Swan, not her."

"You're whatever she needs you to be, what if she wants you when she's here. You won't be able to fight it." All of my insecurities came rushing back and I hated it and myself for being so weak.

"I can live without Rachel but when you left me for those three months I couldn't cope, I was a wreck. It's you Bella; it's always going to be you above everyone else." He said with such conviction that I let the tears fall and I saw that he believed in every word he said and it was enough, in that moment, for me.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

(1 month later)

It had been a month since Jacob had told us the news of Rachel and there had been no news since. The Pack was on edge and everyone glanced at me with fear and concern. It made it hard to be around them all, with such looks of worry hidden in their eyes.

That's how I found myself sitting alone with the test before me. I would have asked Leah or Emily to join me but feared their looks too much. So instead I sat alone waiting with a nervous stomach for the test results.

Paul hadn't come back since his patrol the previous night and howls had been heard all through the night and into the day. Emily had called me and said there was a Pack emergency and that Paul would tell me all when he returned.

It worried me beyond belief.

I stared at the stick, fearing the result whichever way it turned.

If it was positive I would have to fear more than just Paul leaving me for Rachel, I would fear Paul leaving me and our child.

The alarm I had set beeped. It was time.

I stared, unable to process the result or my thoughts. I didn't know what to feel so I found myself crying from joy or sadness I was not sure the only thing I was sure of was that I was in shock.

I was with child, Paul's child.

Was I ready?

Was he ready?

Could it work?

Could we truly be a family?

The thoughts flooded my mind and I was suddenly unable to stop thinking or worrying.

What would everyone think?

What would happen when Rachel returned?

I stopped myself from thinking any further. I grabbed another test, just to make sure.

It was positive again.

"I'm going to have a baby," I whispered to myself and this time I couldn't help but smile.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

The door opened and Paul stepped in shirtless and looking worn. I had been sitting on the sofa, in _our _home for an hour or so, waiting for him to return.

I rushed up to greet him, kissing him softly on the lips. "Are you ok? What's happened?" my nervous were shot. I had been trying to think of how to tell him, what to say and yet upon seeing him it briefly left my mind, fearing something terrible had happened.

"Someone else had phased," he said tiredly sitting down on the sofa and taking me down with him.

"Who?" I asked worriedly hoping that it wasn't another young boy. It seemed worse when they were younger, a burden on such a young boys shoulders wasn't fair. Then again none of it was fair.

"Sam's brother."

I frowned, "Sam has a brother?"

It was news to me.

"Apparently. He lives in Texas. He phased while we were having a Pack meeting yesterday. He killed a leach then freaked. He's on a plane now; Sam has gone to the airport to wait for him." Paul explained his voice thick with sleep.

"Wow," I whispered. "Crazy."

"Yeah," Paul agreed entwining our fingers together. "Now Embry's pretty sure that Joshua is his father as well." Paul sighed, "Which is probably right."

I bit my lip. It was all a bit of a mess. "Why did he never get tests done?"

Paul shrugged, "I think he didn't want to know, didn't want to be the cause of such sadness. All possible fathers were married at the time; he didn't want to put his Pack brothers through it."

I sighed. Embry had always been so kind and self sacrificing. _He'll make a good uncle _I thought suddenly with a smile.

My hand rested on my stomach as I turned to Paul. "I have some news," I said with a small smile.

Paul watched me with interest, his own lips twitching into a smile. "You look happy, what is it?"

In life there are very few moments that are perfect and that moment it should have been perfect. I was going to tell him he was going to be a father, we were going to have a family. We should have held each other, kissed and smiled, rang our friends told everyone but it seemed my life was never destined to be perfect, that perfect moments were not going to come easily to me.

Paul stiffened before I could speak and then a knock sounded at the door. His face fell into a mask and he slowly walked towards the door, I watched nervously wondering who was on the other side. Fearing it was Jacob with more news on Rachel.

I wished it had of been Jacob.

"Paul," he had opened the door. I could only hear the woman I could not see her but I knew... I knew it was her.

The perfect moment shattered.

"Rachel," it stung more than anything, the complete disbelief and amazement that I heard in his voice.

He stepped back and then I saw her, all raven hair and russet skin. She saw me then and her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Paul, who's that?"

Paul didn't answer; he just kept staring at Rachel. That was all it took for me, it was like Jacob imprinting all over again, I was suddenly invisible, I would leave and he wouldn't notice.

I stood slowly and shakily keeping my emotions in check, I would not break, not in front of her.

"I'll leave you two to talk," I said and my voice seemed to break through whatever trance Paul had been in.

"Bella," he whispered my name and a tiny bit of me began to hope again.

"You two should talk," I said, he stared at me before his eyes landed on Rachel again.

I left, walking shakily out the door. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want her to be alone with him but I knew if I stayed I would have fallen apart completely. I would wait, wait for Paul to make his decision and I could only hope it would be me.

As I walked away I heard her voice. "So that's Bella, the girl you were in love with."

I didn't miss the _were _nor did I miss the silence that followed as I walked away.

_A Drop in the Ocean_

I awake on Emily and Sam's couch where I had spent the night. Emily held me while I cried, while I spilled my secret. She congratulated me though I still cried, it would be cruel wouldn't it, if Paul chose Rachel and I would always be left with a reminder, his child. Or was it kind, to let me keep a part of him?

"Bella," Emily said.

I sat up letting the blanket fall from my body. "Morning," I said my voice dry and sore.

She smiled softly and handed me a cup of coffee and a muffin. "I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat," Emily insisted, "for the baby."

I pressed my hand to my stomach, there were no signs to the eye that I was pregnant but yet I carried a child within me. It felt surreal and slightly magical.

I ate the muffin not really tasting it. We sat in silence; it seemed Emily was afraid to say anything and I desperately needed to talk about something.

"When will Sam be back?" I asked.

Emily smiled. "Soon I would think."

"I can't believe he has a brother."

Emily shook her head thankfully going along with the conversation though I had no doubt she knew I needed distracting. I would go crazy wondering when Paul would show up, what was happening, had a lost the man I love and the family we could be?

"No, neither can he."

We heard voices, my breath quickened hoping beyond all hope it was Paul. Emily and I both stood.

Sam walked in first his eyes landing on Emily instantly. The look of such love and admiration knocked me back and yet gave me hope. Paul didn't look like that at Rachel.

It was then that I noticed the man behind Sam; his brother.

He was shorter the Sam but he was broader and his features more defined. I put on a smile and stepped around Sam to greet him properly.

"Hi, I'm Bella," I looked up, straining my neck to look at him.

He stayed silent, I frowned. He was staring at me, his eyes locked on mine.

"Oh God," I heard a distant voice say, Sam's voice.

It took me a moment, maybe I was in denial maybe I didn't think it could really be happening but I had seen the look so many times I couldn't deny it.

Sam's brother, a complete stranger, had imprinted ... on me.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>Please don't be mad, I have my reasons and please don't forget this is a Paul and Bella fic.

So what do you think? ... I think I'm ready for a few mean words to be thrown in my direction but please don't be _to_ mean.

Let me know what you think.


	28. End up Together

**AN: **So many reviews for the last chapter, amazing though a lot of you had mixed opinions. Never fear, those who didn't believe it couldn't end up being a Bella and Paul fanfic, _tut tut _you should have had more faith

So this is the final chapter. I could have gone on for several more and I thought long and hard about it but decided to go with this ending, here and now. So please and enjoy the final chapter and I want to thank you all for being so amazing and supportive, so this chapter is dedicated to all of you...

**A Drop in the Ocean**

**Chapter Twenty Eight – End up Together**

_(3 years later)_

She watched as Laila ran, Bella's child had been born a healthy little girl. She was now over two and playing with several of her uncle's. Her laugh infectious and Bella found herself laughing at her daughters giggle as Seth chased after her in Sam's garden.

It was one of their Sunday barbeques and everyone had gathered.

The smell of frying burgers wafted towards her, she clutched her swollen stomach, her cravings consisting of mainly meat.

Kim and Emily's children had joined in the fun and were being chase by Embry and Quill. Bella shook her head at their attics.

"It's quite funny, watching grown men act like toddlers," Stefan said coming to sit beside her, resting a hand on her stomach.

Bella laughed, "You're just as bad."

He laughed and grinned at her.

"How's the little nudger?"

Bella smiled, the baby kicking on cue. "Awake and kicking," Bella said wincing slightly.

"Brother, get over here," Stefan called. Sam came rushing over and placed his hand on Bella's stomach, he being the only one not to have felt the baby kick yet.

Sam smiled triumphantly, "he's going to be great at soccer," Sam quipped.

Bella rolled her eyes. They all thought she was having a boy, _more like wishing _she thought.

"Or _she _might be," Bella said raising her brow to look at Sam poignantly.

He chuckled, "it's a boy."

Sam walked off going back to the grill, Stefan laughed. "I think everyone's praying for a boy."

"Are you?" she asked with a smile.

He shook his head, "as long as it's healthy that's all that matters."

"Exactly," Bella said resting her hands on her stomach.

It was then that Laila came hurtling towards her mother. "Mommy, mommy," she screeched. Bella caught her with difficulty, her swollen belly getting in the way. "When is daddy going to be here?"

Bella glanced at her watch but before she could answer Paul came striding out from the woods, Matt, the newest addition to the Pack beside him. Laila ran to Paul who scooped her up with a smile.

Bella stood and watched with a smile as Stefan walked over to Matt embracing him before kissing him fiercely. It was funny how things turned out, Stefan had imprinted on Bella and everyone had feared the worst but the man was gay and would never be anything but Bella's best friend, replacing the hole in her life that Jacob had left.

Paul's imprint was harder to work through. Rachel was insistent but Paul, despite everything chose Bella and as soon as he did the bindings holding him to Rachel unravelled, or that's how he had described it to Bella.

The elders had a different opinion. That the imprint bond didn't break because he chose Bella but because his wolf knew that she was carrying his child and in the elders eyes imprinting was only to reproduce. The elders believed that because Paul already had a child growing inside of Bella that the imprint was needed anymore.

Bella liked Paul's version more. She wanted it to be because he loved her but whatever the reason it didn't really matter because she was with Paul and they were in love.

Rachel had left, several months after arriving. A job in Hawaii had arisen near her sister and she had taken it. No one was particularly sad to see the back of her, least of all Bella.

Paul walked towards Bella, Laila in his arms. She leaned up and met him lips to lips. It was soft and tame but his eyes twinkled with promises for later. Bella smiled and kissed Laila on the head while Paul placed his hand over her stomach.

"How is our little nudger?" Paul asked warmly.

He was an excellent father like she knew he always would be and he was an even better husband. Bella glanced at the ring on her finger, it had been a small ceremony and she had been heavily pregnant at the time with Laila but it was beautiful. Leah, Emily and Kim were her bridesmaids while Sam and Jared were Paul's bestmen, it had been on the beach at sunset and after a bonfire was light and stories were told and speeches made. It had been the second happiest day of her life right after the day her little baby girl Laila Lahote was born.

Bella placed her hand over his, "good, kicking mommy like crazy though."

Paul smiled and kissed Bella on the cheek before placing a wriggling Laila on the ground, she instantly ran off in search of her uncle's.

"Paul," she heard Jared call.

He was holding a ball and most of the pack were sorting out teams and setting up goals. Paul glanced at her and she rolled her eyes good naturedly, "Go, play." She said laughing. He kissed her before running off to his brothers.

Bella found a seat next to Mia. She smiled over at her, she too with a swollen stomach. They would never be close friends but they had learnt to be around one another for the packs sake and for Jacobs.

Bella and Jacob would never be best friends again, she had Stefan for that but he was still Jacob and she couldn't bear for him not to be in her life. So slowly over the years they had built up their relationship again, Paul hadn't been happy at the beginning but he didn't stop it and in the end he and Jacob learnt to get along as well.

So, in the end, despite everything it somehow all worked out despite the fact that she thought she had to wait, see if Paul was her destiny but she learnt that fate and destiny only got you so far because they decided beginnings not endings. Destiny might drop you off somewhere but it's your job to get where you're going, decide your own ending.

So Paul might not have been her destiny but he was her choice and she was his, it was the path they were following and she couldn't wait to see where it took them...

_A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather, I was praying that you and me would end up together_

_THE END_

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>I'm sad that this story is at its end. It's been a wild ride with many ups and downs and I've been told on many occasions I have a thing for drama and you might be right.

Anyway, I hope I haven't disappointed any body and I would love to hear what you think of the final chapter.

Thank you again to everyone reviewing/reading you have all been so lovely and loyal, many of your words have brought massive smiles to my face. So thank you, all so, so, so much.

If any of you are** Game of Thrones** fans I have several stories up if you are interested.


	29. By popular demand

**Update on a Drop in the Ocean**

It has come to my attention that many of you would like it if I did a few outtakes of what actually happened between Bella getting imprinted on and Paul and Bella ending up together.

SO... I will be doing a few outtakes- a **mini sub-story** if you like- of what happened between Chapter 27 and Chapter 28.

So stay tuned and follow me **on Twitter** for sneek peaks of the mini sub-story to come.

**ihaveadarkside1 **is my user name- the link will also be on my profile.

By following me on Twitter you'll receive **extracts from upcoming chapters**, other juicy bits and bobs: a look into my crazy mind, upcoming stories and other related story business!

I would really appreciate the support so please, if you have twitter, please just click the follow button. It would be much appreciated.

-ihaveadarkside


	30. Messy Little Raindrops

The sub-story/outtakes for this story is now up. It's called Messy Little Raindrops and it will consisted of several chapters (5-6 chapters) so if you want to know what happened after Bella was imprinted on then please go read it.

**Messy Little Raindrops**: Outtakes from A Drop in the Ocean... It was just her luck, Paul's imprint turned up and then to top it all off, Sam's brother imprinted on her. This is what happened...

Go take a look...


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